Basically...
I had a conversation last night that I feel I needed. I'm only posting it here because too many people read my myspace and I'm sure as hell not posting it on facebook.
I feel like I've been dwelling on my past too much lately. I also feel like I've been complaining too much about my past lately, when I know that half the world has had it 10 times worse than I have. Although I was abused, I was never at the point when I was a bloody pulp or couldn't walk or escape if I needed it. I think it was the emotional scarring that hurt the most. And people say words can never hurt you...
I feel like I'm not good enough to date anyone any more...although I'm young, this is something that really concerns me. I don't want to grow up being one of those creepy old guys that don't do anything with their lives. The ones that sit at home behind their computer and masturbate to underage porn with their beer and wife beater...
I feel unhappily single and too self conscious to ask anyone as well, which is probably contributing a lot to why I feel not good enough to date anyone...I didn't grow up with a lot of confidence and it's probably not something I'm going to wake up one day and magically attain. It's something that instilled into people...
I feel like I've been betrayed by almost everyone I know, which is making me suspicious of the real friends I have. Friends that I shouldn't have to doubt or make feel like they're doing something wrong. I'm sorry.
In other words, I'm fighting lots of confidence and inner turmoil issues right now, and I hate it. Someone ask me. Please.
In the words of Kelly Clarkson..."I find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me...I am afraid..."
Thank you for reading about my bitching.
I leave with you an annoying internet quiz...
Would you:
1. Give me your number?
2. Have sex with me?
3. Let me kiss you?
4. Watch a movie with me...even a really sappy one?
5. Let me take you out to dinner?
6. Drive me somewhere/anywhere?
7. Take a shower with me?
8. Be my bf/gf?
9. Have a fling with me?
10. Listen to me if I called you crying even if you were out with all of your friends?
11. Buy me a drink if i didnt have money?
12. Take me home for the night?
13. Would you let me sleep in your bed?
14. Sing kareoke w/ me?
15. Sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone?
16. Re-post this for me to answer your questions?
17. Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere?
18. Do you think I'm cute or hot?
19. Do you like my style?
20. Do you think im funny?
21. Do you care about me?
22. Would you cry if i died?
23. Would you stop me if i tried to commit suicide?
24. Would you dance with me?
25. Would you sing happy birthday to me?
27. Would u marry me?
29. Do me in a public place?
31. Take advantage of me if I was drunk?
32. Strip for me?
I feel like I've been dwelling on my past too much lately. I also feel like I've been complaining too much about my past lately, when I know that half the world has had it 10 times worse than I have. Although I was abused, I was never at the point when I was a bloody pulp or couldn't walk or escape if I needed it. I think it was the emotional scarring that hurt the most. And people say words can never hurt you...
I feel like I'm not good enough to date anyone any more...although I'm young, this is something that really concerns me. I don't want to grow up being one of those creepy old guys that don't do anything with their lives. The ones that sit at home behind their computer and masturbate to underage porn with their beer and wife beater...
I feel unhappily single and too self conscious to ask anyone as well, which is probably contributing a lot to why I feel not good enough to date anyone...I didn't grow up with a lot of confidence and it's probably not something I'm going to wake up one day and magically attain. It's something that instilled into people...
I feel like I've been betrayed by almost everyone I know, which is making me suspicious of the real friends I have. Friends that I shouldn't have to doubt or make feel like they're doing something wrong. I'm sorry.
In other words, I'm fighting lots of confidence and inner turmoil issues right now, and I hate it. Someone ask me. Please.
In the words of Kelly Clarkson..."I find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me...I am afraid..."
Thank you for reading about my bitching.
I leave with you an annoying internet quiz...
Would you:
1. Give me your number?
2. Have sex with me?
3. Let me kiss you?
4. Watch a movie with me...even a really sappy one?
5. Let me take you out to dinner?
6. Drive me somewhere/anywhere?
7. Take a shower with me?
8. Be my bf/gf?
9. Have a fling with me?
10. Listen to me if I called you crying even if you were out with all of your friends?
11. Buy me a drink if i didnt have money?
12. Take me home for the night?
13. Would you let me sleep in your bed?
14. Sing kareoke w/ me?
15. Sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone?
16. Re-post this for me to answer your questions?
17. Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere?
18. Do you think I'm cute or hot?
19. Do you like my style?
20. Do you think im funny?
21. Do you care about me?
22. Would you cry if i died?
23. Would you stop me if i tried to commit suicide?
24. Would you dance with me?
25. Would you sing happy birthday to me?
27. Would u marry me?
29. Do me in a public place?
31. Take advantage of me if I was drunk?
32. Strip for me?