Mother's Day

May 08, 2011 13:35

Last year, I dreaded Mother's Day, considered just getting out of bed long enough to get drunk enough to go back to sleep...But I'd been thinking about checking out Unity, and had a dream where I went to Unity and saw my kids during brunch afterwards (and this was before I'd ever been to Unity and had no clue that they had brunch.) It felt like a sneak preview dream, and I think the message was that going to Unity would put me on the path that would eventually lead me back to my kids.

So, I went, and cried pretty much the whole time. Reverend Brenda talked about bad mommy moments, and what makes a perfect mom, and that no one is perfect, but we all have good qualities. Then the men got up to sing a song for the mothers, and there was this one guy who was really cute, but he was sitting with this hot redhead, so I started wondering if they'd be up for a 3-way, then remembered we were in church, and it probably was inappropriate to even ask. After the service, a bunch of people talked to me, and it just seemed so accepting, like coming home.

This year, I made 7-layer brownies last night, and got to Unity early to help Pat & Jim Healy in the kitchen. During the service, there was part where the 12-women class lit candles. I lit an orange candle for Ruth, who represents zeal, and a pink candle for Mary of Nazareth who is associated with pure love, and also for my Mom and Grandma. I still miss my Mom and my kids, but in the past year I've become part of this community and that's awesome.

The cute guy wasn't there today though. He went to spend Mother's Day with his mom in Lincoln, NE, but we talked about what all was going on for today's service when we were hanging out on Friday night.  Except for the new members ceremony, this is the first time I've had to speak during a service, and I think I would have been more nervous if he'd been there- but knowing he does way more all the time helped me stay calm.

ETA: Earlier, I'd been thinking about my Mom's cousin Diane, and when Auntie Pat mentioned Diane in her Mother's Day post on facebook, I went looking for Diane in Pat's friend list, sent her a friend request, she added me. Looking through her photos, it's so obvious she's Mom's cousin, strong family resemblance, and she said how special Mom was and how much she misses her.  Diane lived far away, so I've only met her maybe a couple times, and that was when I was little, so I don't know her other than that she was close to my Mom, and I'm excited about getting to know her--- and feeling like even though Mother's Day is a sad day for me, maybe each Mother's Day someone special is going to come into my life, or back into my life.
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