to-do list
I've been doing some brainstorming and keeping my mind open, and have started getting ideas for things to do other than sit on the couch and be really depressed.
-I've decided that right before each payday, I will transfer 10% of my account balance to my savings account and each of the kids' savings accounts. When I've got enough in mine, I'm going to use that to get 2 tattoos- one with fossils and Vlad's name and birthdate, the other with fairies and flowers and Lucy's name and birthdate.
-I've started going to church and have an appointment for spiritual counseling tomorrow.
-When I'm scouting out shops to get the tattoos done, I'm also going to ask around about getting an apprenticeship. I've wanted to learn to do tattoos for a long time, and now I have the free time to do it and money to spare for materials.
-On the radio, they announced that Linn County is looking for people for an art review board- and I thought it would be awesome to have something I made hanging in the Juvenile Law Center and Courthouse, especially if most (if not all) people seeing it would know it was created by a birth parent.
-In a similar note, I've been talking to people at Partnership for Safe Families, and even though I've been TPR'd, I can still be a Parent Partner after a year, and I'll need to work through my anger issues. This will also mean that I'll get to have a voice, possibly be able to tell my story to people who can actually make a difference.
-I've heard some news about the kids- a mutual friend said that Jess has been whining on facebook about DHS requiring her to come up to Iowa to see the kids, and the financial strain that will place on her. DHS has rejected other interested parties because "'family' first", although they seem to have a very different definition of 'family' than I do. I have attempted to contact Jess, but she's got my phone blocked, has me blocked on facebook (although I can still see the public parts of her profile by using IE), and she hasn't responded to emails. I've been reading up on adoptive children and contact with bio-parents, and most experts agree that unless there's some kind of safety issue or other big problem, it's better for the kids to have contact....So, I'm thinking that if she continues to refuse all communication, I'll send her a certified letter. After that, I'll send certified letters a few times a year, maybe just talking about stuff I've been up to, maybe pictures- maybe for the kids' birthdays I'll send cards and checks. I'll keep copies of all this. Then, when Vlad turns 18, I'll send him a certified letter informing him that I'd like to have contact, and that he has a savings account. If Jess has been telling them that I didn't want them, or didn't want to have any contact, or whatever else, I'll be able to show him proof that I tried to have contact...I won't bad-mouth her, just tell the truth and let the kids form their own opinions of that.
-I've managed to venture out of the house a few times to see Thomas, who is sweet as always.
-I've decided that right before each payday, I will transfer 10% of my account balance to my savings account and each of the kids' savings accounts. When I've got enough in mine, I'm going to use that to get 2 tattoos- one with fossils and Vlad's name and birthdate, the other with fairies and flowers and Lucy's name and birthdate.
-I've started going to church and have an appointment for spiritual counseling tomorrow.
-When I'm scouting out shops to get the tattoos done, I'm also going to ask around about getting an apprenticeship. I've wanted to learn to do tattoos for a long time, and now I have the free time to do it and money to spare for materials.
-On the radio, they announced that Linn County is looking for people for an art review board- and I thought it would be awesome to have something I made hanging in the Juvenile Law Center and Courthouse, especially if most (if not all) people seeing it would know it was created by a birth parent.
-In a similar note, I've been talking to people at Partnership for Safe Families, and even though I've been TPR'd, I can still be a Parent Partner after a year, and I'll need to work through my anger issues. This will also mean that I'll get to have a voice, possibly be able to tell my story to people who can actually make a difference.
-I've heard some news about the kids- a mutual friend said that Jess has been whining on facebook about DHS requiring her to come up to Iowa to see the kids, and the financial strain that will place on her. DHS has rejected other interested parties because "'family' first", although they seem to have a very different definition of 'family' than I do. I have attempted to contact Jess, but she's got my phone blocked, has me blocked on facebook (although I can still see the public parts of her profile by using IE), and she hasn't responded to emails. I've been reading up on adoptive children and contact with bio-parents, and most experts agree that unless there's some kind of safety issue or other big problem, it's better for the kids to have contact....So, I'm thinking that if she continues to refuse all communication, I'll send her a certified letter. After that, I'll send certified letters a few times a year, maybe just talking about stuff I've been up to, maybe pictures- maybe for the kids' birthdays I'll send cards and checks. I'll keep copies of all this. Then, when Vlad turns 18, I'll send him a certified letter informing him that I'd like to have contact, and that he has a savings account. If Jess has been telling them that I didn't want them, or didn't want to have any contact, or whatever else, I'll be able to show him proof that I tried to have contact...I won't bad-mouth her, just tell the truth and let the kids form their own opinions of that.
-I've managed to venture out of the house a few times to see Thomas, who is sweet as always.