stabbing backwards
i like how i feel like dying and how i'm a mopy bitch and am dragging everyone down; being a complete asshole (i used the fucking semi colon right), and how i want to do something with my life so i can no longer be looked at as a waste and a failure by anybody, i like how i have this weird feeling but i dont know if it will go anywhere for usually my ambitions go no where, i hope this one works out, i just want to be a good journalist, musician, and friend. i want to make it in the world of Journalism, i want to go to school and actually learn something for once and to take it beyond the classroom and be succesful, i want to play music for the rest of my life and to always be a part of that, i have had one dream since 4th grade and thats to be in a band that made it i want to fulfill my dream, but right now i dont really care as long as i am no longer a junkie and a burn out, and i no longer am just in it for my own satisfation but to show the world who i am and that i am not just someones else, i want to love, i want to be loved, and i want to suppport a family one day, i want to teach someone, my kids, and make a difference in young peoples minds when i get older, i am so eshausted, yesterday i went to bed at about 545pm and i was going to go to bed at about 8pm today, but i decided to be sociable, cuz i try really hard to be now a days, so i watched a movie with my parents , becasue i try to be normal and energized, and sometimes i am, i really am, i dont want to waste anytime any more, i have done enough of that already in my life way too much so i am ready to do this and i am ready to make the change please help me i'm exhausted.