meh. jus meh
Things are really werid at the moment in time.. I can't seem to get myself happy.. I feel like I'm invisible to the world.. So alone an yet so lost at the same time.. Its almost like I need a map to find my sanity again.. Maybe moving an being away from everyone was a bad thing.. i'm hardly talkin to jeff an thats effecting us though he wont say nothing i know it is.. We jus bicker..an yes.. Im the starter of everything..
Something that my sister said yesterday made me think all day today.. she said " i know you megan you want to run cuz your happy" an it happens I get to a happy point an then jus leave .. end everything that made me happy.. An I dont know why.. well i do..but hard to explain..
Happiness leads to getting hurt.. an I think im scared to be hurt..I feel like im fallin down slow motion.. An no one is able to stop me..
The worst part of it all.. Is all i can do is write my feelings never tell them.. I keep everything hidden.. Everything so secret an no one knows whats goin on in my mind..
today i found myself standing of the dock.. wondering what it would be like to jus float away an see where i eneded up.. or if i'd even make it.. I'm a runner an its what i do.. An as hard as it is for me to say it.. I want to run again.. but not in the area i need to.. Im so scared of being alone.. ugh.. an i leave now.. ima go smoke or something ease my brain from thinkin.
Meh im talkin to jeff.. an tellin him not to let me run.. hopefully he'll listen cuz i know there is goin to be a time when I say im goin out for something an then not come back..
Something that my sister said yesterday made me think all day today.. she said " i know you megan you want to run cuz your happy" an it happens I get to a happy point an then jus leave .. end everything that made me happy.. An I dont know why.. well i do..but hard to explain..
Happiness leads to getting hurt.. an I think im scared to be hurt..I feel like im fallin down slow motion.. An no one is able to stop me..
The worst part of it all.. Is all i can do is write my feelings never tell them.. I keep everything hidden.. Everything so secret an no one knows whats goin on in my mind..
today i found myself standing of the dock.. wondering what it would be like to jus float away an see where i eneded up.. or if i'd even make it.. I'm a runner an its what i do.. An as hard as it is for me to say it.. I want to run again.. but not in the area i need to.. Im so scared of being alone.. ugh.. an i leave now.. ima go smoke or something ease my brain from thinkin.
Meh im talkin to jeff.. an tellin him not to let me run.. hopefully he'll listen cuz i know there is goin to be a time when I say im goin out for something an then not come back..