keeping up appearances
you put the whole temp in,
you put the whole temp out
you put the whole temp out, and then shake her all about.
so as usual it fell through, leaving me with a 3 day assignment at a company who offers office facilities and "career counciling" for downsized execs. wah wah poor lil execs, without even a scrap of letterhead to call their own; never fear! DBM is here! you get an office, counciling, head-hunting, office services, resumes, seminars, and your own voicemail, all to keep up executive appearances until you land another 500k a year job.
kind of ironic considering i'm the fucking temp, don't you think? ooh but i shouldn't complain; they validate parking.
on the way there i thought about all the shitty jobs i've worked as a temp, office, banquet serving, retail, data entry, warehouse. would anyone be willing to buy a book i'd write on my brief experiences in the american workforce? the data entry alone would be a hoot: john lovitz look-alike psycho mike who chanted "stacystacystacy" because he picked up her "psychic sexual vibes,"the unsmiling -EVER-ernestine with pirhana teeth from some sort of childhood disease, the foot-fetish professor who had a breakdown after he wrote a book about the shipwrecks of lake erie and then ended up doing data entry, pacing outside on his breaks and keeping correspondence with female inmates for his next book, and the poster bearing a girl out of a douche ad that screamed "NO JOY IN LIFE? FREE DEPRESSION SCREENING!!!"
i always wanted to steal that damn poster but never did as it was right above the managers' desk. it would have gone so well with the collection of prozac ads that once hung above my bed.
you put the whole temp out
you put the whole temp out, and then shake her all about.
so as usual it fell through, leaving me with a 3 day assignment at a company who offers office facilities and "career counciling" for downsized execs. wah wah poor lil execs, without even a scrap of letterhead to call their own; never fear! DBM is here! you get an office, counciling, head-hunting, office services, resumes, seminars, and your own voicemail, all to keep up executive appearances until you land another 500k a year job.
kind of ironic considering i'm the fucking temp, don't you think? ooh but i shouldn't complain; they validate parking.
on the way there i thought about all the shitty jobs i've worked as a temp, office, banquet serving, retail, data entry, warehouse. would anyone be willing to buy a book i'd write on my brief experiences in the american workforce? the data entry alone would be a hoot: john lovitz look-alike psycho mike who chanted "stacystacystacy" because he picked up her "psychic sexual vibes,"the unsmiling -EVER-ernestine with pirhana teeth from some sort of childhood disease, the foot-fetish professor who had a breakdown after he wrote a book about the shipwrecks of lake erie and then ended up doing data entry, pacing outside on his breaks and keeping correspondence with female inmates for his next book, and the poster bearing a girl out of a douche ad that screamed "NO JOY IN LIFE? FREE DEPRESSION SCREENING!!!"
i always wanted to steal that damn poster but never did as it was right above the managers' desk. it would have gone so well with the collection of prozac ads that once hung above my bed.