9/11 memories
Arriving in my classroom I turned on NPR as I started setting up, as was my habit. I was early as usual and not many people were around. I heard them talking about a plane hitting the WTC and walked down to the office. My boss was there and I asked her if she had heard about this, if she knew anything. She knew no more than I did and was also listening to the radio. As we were talking they announced that the second plane hit. I said “I have to call my sister.” And went to get my calling card. (Yes, calling card.)
Arriving back at the office, calling card and Dale’s number in hand (work number, I guess? We didn’t all carry cell phones then), I dialed and she picked up right away.
“I’m supposed to be there,” she said and explained how she usually was there at that time. She talked a little about planes hitting the WTC occasionally and how you didn’t realize it was a big deal at first.
We hung up shortly, and I couldn’t reach her for days after that, but I had heard her voice and knew she were OK. I was so grateful for that, especially as I heard stories in the days to come of people calling and calling and not getting through to anyone.
Calling Tina on the phone, “Dale’s OK.”
A pause. “OK…what’s going on?”
“Someone’s crashing planes into the World Trade Center. Turn on a radio.”
I hear Tina talking to a co-worker, “Turn on a radio. There was a bomb at the World Trade Center.”
“No! Not a bomb! Planes! They are crashing planes into it.” I remember thinking she can't even process what I'm saying, that's how little sense this makes.
Trying to be calm and act normal for the kids. Arranging that the office staff would keep the radio on and keep us updated. Whispered updates as each tower collapsed. Trying to breathe and act normal and not scare the kids.
Waking up early every morning and calling up the website that listed the names of the identified dead. Reading them over and over and not seeing anyone I knew. Watching the list grow and grow, and then stop growing. It took a long time before I could wake up and not go check the list first thing.
Driving and crying. Driving and crying, every day. Driving back and forth to work, listening to the radio and cry quietly. Turning to the left and right and realizing the other drivers on the highway had tears streaming down their faces too. We were all driving and crying.
Bagging leaves with a quiet sky. As people who live in the Twin Cities know there are ALWAYS planes. It’s part of the landscape that I usually tune out. I noticed it when I first moved here, having moved from somewhere where the airport was not right near the city but out in the middle of nowhere. But once I got used to it I didn’t give it a second thought. But I remember being out in the yard - it was our first fall in our house - alone, bagging leaves and feeling very saddened and spooked by the quiet sky.
I bought plane tickets on September 12. It was an act of rage, really - I remember that I didn’t even discuss it with Tina, but just told her that I was doing it. There was no &^%&^$ way “they” were going to keep us from Doran’s Bar Mitzvah in NY in October. Not a chance. They’d have to crash our plane too. I had been watching prices in the days preceding 9/11 and there was talk of prices going up with the new security measures, and I didn’t want to wait anymore. So, I remember getting out my credit card and logging on (we still had to plug the laptop in to get online then) and buying the tickets, feeling rageful and defiant as I did, trying not to think about what it was going to feel like to get on a plane in a month.
Arriving back at the office, calling card and Dale’s number in hand (work number, I guess? We didn’t all carry cell phones then), I dialed and she picked up right away.
“I’m supposed to be there,” she said and explained how she usually was there at that time. She talked a little about planes hitting the WTC occasionally and how you didn’t realize it was a big deal at first.
We hung up shortly, and I couldn’t reach her for days after that, but I had heard her voice and knew she were OK. I was so grateful for that, especially as I heard stories in the days to come of people calling and calling and not getting through to anyone.
Calling Tina on the phone, “Dale’s OK.”
A pause. “OK…what’s going on?”
“Someone’s crashing planes into the World Trade Center. Turn on a radio.”
I hear Tina talking to a co-worker, “Turn on a radio. There was a bomb at the World Trade Center.”
“No! Not a bomb! Planes! They are crashing planes into it.” I remember thinking she can't even process what I'm saying, that's how little sense this makes.
Trying to be calm and act normal for the kids. Arranging that the office staff would keep the radio on and keep us updated. Whispered updates as each tower collapsed. Trying to breathe and act normal and not scare the kids.
Waking up early every morning and calling up the website that listed the names of the identified dead. Reading them over and over and not seeing anyone I knew. Watching the list grow and grow, and then stop growing. It took a long time before I could wake up and not go check the list first thing.
Driving and crying. Driving and crying, every day. Driving back and forth to work, listening to the radio and cry quietly. Turning to the left and right and realizing the other drivers on the highway had tears streaming down their faces too. We were all driving and crying.
Bagging leaves with a quiet sky. As people who live in the Twin Cities know there are ALWAYS planes. It’s part of the landscape that I usually tune out. I noticed it when I first moved here, having moved from somewhere where the airport was not right near the city but out in the middle of nowhere. But once I got used to it I didn’t give it a second thought. But I remember being out in the yard - it was our first fall in our house - alone, bagging leaves and feeling very saddened and spooked by the quiet sky.
I bought plane tickets on September 12. It was an act of rage, really - I remember that I didn’t even discuss it with Tina, but just told her that I was doing it. There was no &^%&^$ way “they” were going to keep us from Doran’s Bar Mitzvah in NY in October. Not a chance. They’d have to crash our plane too. I had been watching prices in the days preceding 9/11 and there was talk of prices going up with the new security measures, and I didn’t want to wait anymore. So, I remember getting out my credit card and logging on (we still had to plug the laptop in to get online then) and buying the tickets, feeling rageful and defiant as I did, trying not to think about what it was going to feel like to get on a plane in a month.