Hikaru no Go fic, dammit
I wish plot bunnies would stop bouncing into my brain.
Fandom: Hikaru no Go
Rating: Worksafe
Title: Love
Other: Kinda... the other way things can go, canonically speaking? Involves Akari, Hikaru and Akira.
Akari marries Hikaru on her twenty-second birthday. It is the happiest day of her life, the realisation of every childhood dream. In the years to come, what she will mostly remember is the presence of a dark-haired young man, quiet and pale, who assists at the ceremony - but at the time, she hardly notices him.
Their marriage is everything she had expected it to be: Hikaru eats her food with gusto and without thanks, he is loud and brash and thoughtless, and when she berates him, she is ignored or brushed off with a laugh. The sex isn't particularly good, but Hikaru seems to enjoy it, and she always rests against him afterwards, content to feel an arm around her waist, content to wrap her arms around his shoulders. They are, she thinks, happy.
Their home becomes the meeting place of the rising stars of the Go world. The first time they visit she is excited, even when Hikaru tells her there's no point in her being there. After she has taken care of her duties as a hostess she still sits down and watches, and it dawns on her, with something like shame, that Hikaru is right. There truly is no point in being there, the games they play are on a level she cannot even begin to understand.
She still goes, every time. Hikaru is hardly ever home; seeing him at all is a pleasure.
The first time she witnesses one of Hikaru's and Touya's shouting matches she is, initially, embarrassed. Horribly so, until she sees the reactions of her guests: they are amused, exasperated, obviously used to it. That makes her relax, until she sees the expression on Hikaru's face as he glares at Touya. He has never once looked at her like that.
When the shouting stops and play resumes, she pays close attention to Touya, and to her husband. She doesn't understand how she didn't see it before. For a few dizzying moments she wonders if everyone knows, if she's the only one in the dark. If she is an object of general pity or mirth.
It takes her a long time to calm down, but when she does, she is able to think clearly. She is almost sure Hikaru isn't being unfaithful to her. For all his flaws, he has a strange sense of honour, somewhere. She is almost certain he isn't sleeping with Touya. Almost certain he doesn't even know that he wants to.
Almost certain.
Were it not for the child, she would divorce him. But she is pregnant, and her child deserves a father, even one who is never home. She loves her unborn son or daughter with a fierce possessiveness that frightens her. She doesn't tell Hikaru, and he doesn't notice until two months before she gives birth. When he does, he is delighted, so much so that she thinks things might change.
They don't.
Her life stretches before her, she sees it all the way to the end: she is a housekeeper, a cook, a cleaner, a mother of much-loved children. She is nothing to him. There is no passion, no desire, no love. It's not that he's incapable of it, it's just that somebody else has already claimed it all.
At least I get to touch him, she thinks, spitefully, whenever Touya visits. At least he's mine to hold and to kiss. But she knows too well that it doesn't matter in the slightest. Hikaru's body may be hers, but his mind and heart and soul belong to Touya.
Fandom: Hikaru no Go
Rating: Worksafe
Title: Love
Other: Kinda... the other way things can go, canonically speaking? Involves Akari, Hikaru and Akira.
Akari marries Hikaru on her twenty-second birthday. It is the happiest day of her life, the realisation of every childhood dream. In the years to come, what she will mostly remember is the presence of a dark-haired young man, quiet and pale, who assists at the ceremony - but at the time, she hardly notices him.
Their marriage is everything she had expected it to be: Hikaru eats her food with gusto and without thanks, he is loud and brash and thoughtless, and when she berates him, she is ignored or brushed off with a laugh. The sex isn't particularly good, but Hikaru seems to enjoy it, and she always rests against him afterwards, content to feel an arm around her waist, content to wrap her arms around his shoulders. They are, she thinks, happy.
Their home becomes the meeting place of the rising stars of the Go world. The first time they visit she is excited, even when Hikaru tells her there's no point in her being there. After she has taken care of her duties as a hostess she still sits down and watches, and it dawns on her, with something like shame, that Hikaru is right. There truly is no point in being there, the games they play are on a level she cannot even begin to understand.
She still goes, every time. Hikaru is hardly ever home; seeing him at all is a pleasure.
The first time she witnesses one of Hikaru's and Touya's shouting matches she is, initially, embarrassed. Horribly so, until she sees the reactions of her guests: they are amused, exasperated, obviously used to it. That makes her relax, until she sees the expression on Hikaru's face as he glares at Touya. He has never once looked at her like that.
When the shouting stops and play resumes, she pays close attention to Touya, and to her husband. She doesn't understand how she didn't see it before. For a few dizzying moments she wonders if everyone knows, if she's the only one in the dark. If she is an object of general pity or mirth.
It takes her a long time to calm down, but when she does, she is able to think clearly. She is almost sure Hikaru isn't being unfaithful to her. For all his flaws, he has a strange sense of honour, somewhere. She is almost certain he isn't sleeping with Touya. Almost certain he doesn't even know that he wants to.
Almost certain.
Were it not for the child, she would divorce him. But she is pregnant, and her child deserves a father, even one who is never home. She loves her unborn son or daughter with a fierce possessiveness that frightens her. She doesn't tell Hikaru, and he doesn't notice until two months before she gives birth. When he does, he is delighted, so much so that she thinks things might change.
They don't.
Her life stretches before her, she sees it all the way to the end: she is a housekeeper, a cook, a cleaner, a mother of much-loved children. She is nothing to him. There is no passion, no desire, no love. It's not that he's incapable of it, it's just that somebody else has already claimed it all.
At least I get to touch him, she thinks, spitefully, whenever Touya visits. At least he's mine to hold and to kiss. But she knows too well that it doesn't matter in the slightest. Hikaru's body may be hers, but his mind and heart and soul belong to Touya.