Come on, Self, Get It Together!
So tonight I'm wondering about My Brain vs. Myself. Sometimes I (Myself) intend (or don't) to do things but My Brain has other plans and I find out afterwards that I've been hijacked. This happens in small ways, like I will get up and be ten steps into the next room before I realize what I'm doing. Suddenly I will be like, oh, I guess I'm getting a glass of water. My Brain had it all underway before *I* knew what I was about.
And then I am writing and something happens, in the scene, that I (Myself) never saw coming. My Brain just does it and then I just write it and I sort of look on in surprise. Usually and for the most part this is my favorite thing about writing. But something keeps happening in these stories I'm working on that makes me pause the tiniest bit...I'm not really worried, since anything can be fixed, but I just wonder if My Brain really does know best.
I keep trying to write really...how do I say this? Really *not* big stories. I'm writing (possibly historical) fantasy, and there *is* an element of saving society from a great evil, but I'm not trying to write a LOTR epic. Because I'm not genius-face like Tolkien. And plus, I just want to write this girl's story. Just one girl, and what she goes through when her wicked stepmother tries to kill her.
But My Brain keeps making it bigger-bigger stakes, bigger threats, bigger cast...and the fairies! I truly do not want to write another fairy book, because there are so many and they are all so amazing and I just wanted to do something different and not feel like I'm grasping at some trend...I do love fairies and fairy stories, no doubt, but I wanted this to be more of a fairy tale (which don't always, or even usually, have fairies in them) than a tale about fairies.
So who do I trust? Myself, who controls all the thoughts I'm aware of but maybe doesn't have full access to ALL the workings of my inner brain-place, or My Brain, who...*is* myself, maybe more truly than Myself is...which sounds silly and convoluted, now that I'm trying to write it out, but probably you get what I'm saying. I don't know. After reading Blink, I'm thinking maybe My Brain knows what's the what more than Myself, but then that's where the hidden prejudices came out, too, and that's no good...
Thoughts? Brain vs. Self? Instinct vs. Intent? Who do I trust?
And then I am writing and something happens, in the scene, that I (Myself) never saw coming. My Brain just does it and then I just write it and I sort of look on in surprise. Usually and for the most part this is my favorite thing about writing. But something keeps happening in these stories I'm working on that makes me pause the tiniest bit...I'm not really worried, since anything can be fixed, but I just wonder if My Brain really does know best.
I keep trying to write really...how do I say this? Really *not* big stories. I'm writing (possibly historical) fantasy, and there *is* an element of saving society from a great evil, but I'm not trying to write a LOTR epic. Because I'm not genius-face like Tolkien. And plus, I just want to write this girl's story. Just one girl, and what she goes through when her wicked stepmother tries to kill her.
But My Brain keeps making it bigger-bigger stakes, bigger threats, bigger cast...and the fairies! I truly do not want to write another fairy book, because there are so many and they are all so amazing and I just wanted to do something different and not feel like I'm grasping at some trend...I do love fairies and fairy stories, no doubt, but I wanted this to be more of a fairy tale (which don't always, or even usually, have fairies in them) than a tale about fairies.
So who do I trust? Myself, who controls all the thoughts I'm aware of but maybe doesn't have full access to ALL the workings of my inner brain-place, or My Brain, who...*is* myself, maybe more truly than Myself is...which sounds silly and convoluted, now that I'm trying to write it out, but probably you get what I'm saying. I don't know. After reading Blink, I'm thinking maybe My Brain knows what's the what more than Myself, but then that's where the hidden prejudices came out, too, and that's no good...
Thoughts? Brain vs. Self? Instinct vs. Intent? Who do I trust?