Update
So another trip to San Francisco ended the crappy year that 2011 was, with it ended a lot of the past. A tip of the hat to what is to come perhaps. Wish I knew.
The house in Ireland is now home to someone else, which meant that three weeks were set aside for clearing stuff out of it. A sobering and extremely sad time that I wish I could have pulled from memory, involving going through all that they left behind and sorting it out. Eventually a van arrived and loaded up a load of things, and what was once a home full of largely pleasant memories became a hollow, echoing, empty shell.
More tears. More ghosts.
I got back from this and 20 mins into work found out I was being made redundant. Another chapter closed. The only thing that rankles is that the people responsible at the end of it all, didn't have the integrity to say a goodbye, preferring instead to hide away in a "meeting" . Ugly people. I don't miss them.
(Have I ever mentioned Camille? I met her by chance in a Seattle bar many years ago on the first solo trip away. I'd let her squeeze in to the bar to get a round in and thought nothing of it, but a while later she had returned with a beaming smile for another round so I let her squeeze in to the bar again. We started talking on the third visit.
Camille was (and may still be) a waitress from Arizona, missed nothing and was as sharp as a knife. It wasn't a long conversation but I've remembered it. Just before she took her drinks came the punchline:
"There's a lot of fucking ugly people in the world" she said, "you're cute, you're not one of them"
Ugly People? I said.
"Yes" she replied. "Ugly people. Fucking sad ugly people. You know the ones I mean."
I knew exactly what she meant. "Ah, yes, that lot." says I. Ugly people. She was bang on with that was Camille)
There have been a fair few of those that I've encountered this year sadly.
With the ugly people though, have come along others who have been anything but. I've been genuinely touched by the kindness of others this year again. A big thank you to those and the supportive friends that I have.
It would have been nice to have had interesting tales to comment on, but they have been few and far between. Just more fallout from the loss of the folks, and not something I really want to relive. I've learnt something though, the loss of both of them in close succession has sure made it's mark, an experience that has changed my outlook on the world and how I deal with it. "You never stop grieving" said a relative with his own sad tale of loss, "it becomes part of you and you adapt to it" .
While dunging out the place I came across some boxes of slides. A lot of them turned out to be random holiday pictures, but a fair few of them were of the folks, from their wedding and just before and after it. One pic of them is on a beach somewhere on holiday, young and happy, before so many things went wrong. It's how I see them now.
Somedays I wish I was on that beach with them.
The house in Ireland is now home to someone else, which meant that three weeks were set aside for clearing stuff out of it. A sobering and extremely sad time that I wish I could have pulled from memory, involving going through all that they left behind and sorting it out. Eventually a van arrived and loaded up a load of things, and what was once a home full of largely pleasant memories became a hollow, echoing, empty shell.
More tears. More ghosts.
I got back from this and 20 mins into work found out I was being made redundant. Another chapter closed. The only thing that rankles is that the people responsible at the end of it all, didn't have the integrity to say a goodbye, preferring instead to hide away in a "meeting" . Ugly people. I don't miss them.
(Have I ever mentioned Camille? I met her by chance in a Seattle bar many years ago on the first solo trip away. I'd let her squeeze in to the bar to get a round in and thought nothing of it, but a while later she had returned with a beaming smile for another round so I let her squeeze in to the bar again. We started talking on the third visit.
Camille was (and may still be) a waitress from Arizona, missed nothing and was as sharp as a knife. It wasn't a long conversation but I've remembered it. Just before she took her drinks came the punchline:
"There's a lot of fucking ugly people in the world" she said, "you're cute, you're not one of them"
Ugly People? I said.
"Yes" she replied. "Ugly people. Fucking sad ugly people. You know the ones I mean."
I knew exactly what she meant. "Ah, yes, that lot." says I. Ugly people. She was bang on with that was Camille)
There have been a fair few of those that I've encountered this year sadly.
With the ugly people though, have come along others who have been anything but. I've been genuinely touched by the kindness of others this year again. A big thank you to those and the supportive friends that I have.
It would have been nice to have had interesting tales to comment on, but they have been few and far between. Just more fallout from the loss of the folks, and not something I really want to relive. I've learnt something though, the loss of both of them in close succession has sure made it's mark, an experience that has changed my outlook on the world and how I deal with it. "You never stop grieving" said a relative with his own sad tale of loss, "it becomes part of you and you adapt to it" .
While dunging out the place I came across some boxes of slides. A lot of them turned out to be random holiday pictures, but a fair few of them were of the folks, from their wedding and just before and after it. One pic of them is on a beach somewhere on holiday, young and happy, before so many things went wrong. It's how I see them now.
Somedays I wish I was on that beach with them.