(no subject)

[stina47]

I can't decide if I hate change or if I love it. New things are exciting but I think I've been through enough change this past year and I just want everything to settle down. I had the conversation with my boss yesterday about the possibility of staying at Aspect past December and there is none. I mean I'm not being fired because technically I'm on a 6 month co-op and nobody needed to keep me last spring at all but after a year and a half it's just kind of shocking that they don't want me anymore. I talked it over with Jackie yesterday and I think I really have kind of exhausted most of the learning potential here so it is a good time to move on. It still really made me upset and I don't exactly know why. I think just because I've gotten so comfortable here and I liked that feeling. And I still haven't quite mastered the art of not taking things personally. I get the feeling that I'm being kicked out because I'm not doing a good job and that both hurts and makes me upset because I do think that I do good work and I hope that other people notice that. I'm just glad that I already have the job at Legal Sea Foods so I don't have to freak about money quite so much. I generally don't freak about money anymore which is cool.

I also need to figure out a way not to seem miserable all the time. Everyone thinks I'm so unhappy and I'm actually not. Life is really great in a lot of ways.