Importance of Pride
I am a nineteen-year-old bisexual New Yorker and quite proud of it.
My state is finally working on legislation to hopefully make gay marriage legal in New York. Which is long overdue and something I'm quite happy and proud about. With California down and hearing next to nothing about the revote that I thought was supposed to happen a while ago, if New York passes this it will be a major step towards making gay marriage legal and thus equal rights for everyone in the United States. As important as it definitely is for smaller states to pass gay marriage legislation, bigger states make bigger statements. And put more pressure on those around them.
I'm fairly hopeful about this legislation because New York is unique in the sense that, although it has been dragging its feet with this issue, not voting to legalize or officially not allow gay marriages when pretty much every other state has taken a stand (New Mexico the only state behind us), New York does currently recognize same-sex marriages performed elsewhere. Meaning if you got married out of the country or in a state where it was legal, New York will give you all the benefits that straight couples get. We just won't do it. Until now (hopefully).
On the same token I will be extremely devestated if my state officially makes gay marriage illegal. And will be taking to the streets in protest. We do have plenty of religious nuts upstate (where unfortunately our capital is) and even New York City can be pretty conservative at times. The main difference I think between New York and California, is that while California is diverse, pretty accepting of the eccentric for the most part and all about expression, New Yorkers don't care. You can do most anything you want in New York City, and people will walk right past you without batting an eye (they've got more important things to do than notice you're walking around in your underwear). Assuming they aren't tourists. So when the time came to vote in California over same-sex marriage, the conservatives came out in droves to express themselves to everyone else and ended up passing Prop 8, I'm hoping in New York, the conservatives have the sense to realize that just because it's legal doesn't mean anyone is forcing them to do it. And selfishly decide that if it doesn't have to do with them directly, they won't care if it passes.
Although in the long run, gay marriage isn't an issue I'm that concerned about surprisingly. The other day, I was sitting outside with a friend of mine, and a guy walked by wearing a shirt that said simply "Legalize Gay" and then there was a space next to "gay" and that was it. I mentioned to my friend and told the guy I liked his shirt. My friend then turned to me and said "Funny, I thought that was legal." And then said to me the shirt should've just said "legalize gay marriage".
I then informed my friend that gay marriage, although the most publicized, is not the only issue.
Although it was a bit hard to explain to him everything else involved. He is a strong opponent of hate crime legislation. For those who don't know, in the US, if it is decided part of the reason you commited a crime against someone is out of hate (you don't like black/old/disabled/fe/male/Hispanic people), you get a heavier punishment. Currently, although some states consider crimes against people because of sexual orientation (like New York!), not all do. However, currently in the works is the Matthew Shepard Act, which will make crimes against people because of perceived or sexual orientation a hate crime. (it is well on its way too, having now passed the Senate and Judiciary Committee, and the President has already said he'll sign the bill!)
But anyway, even outside of hate crimes and gay marriage (although gay marriages aren't my main priority, I despise the idea of civil unions in the US, because 'seperate but equal' does NOT work for ANYONE who knows anything about American history), those aren't the only issues:
Employent discrimination, adoption by gay couples, housing discrimination, and even the basic benefits of marriage in the United States(virutally none of which have anything to do with religion by the way)--visiting someone in a hospital (or next-of-kin emergency medical decisions--it could go to the parents who disowned the child when they found out s/he was gay), social security benefits after a partner dies, protection against domestic abuse, and even joint custody of children (which if the state doesn't even allow gay adoption, is impossible).
While there are ways to get around these difficulties (such as moving to a state that is more gay-friendly...which sadly there aren't many), the point is they shouldn't have to (My friend was actually pretty shocked when I mentioned gay adoption, and how one state went so far as to make it illegal for a single parent to adopt just in case that person was gay--yes, that was the motivating reason). And that brings me to what I'm most passionate about in this.
The fact that these discriminating laws are (or abscence of certain laws, are not) on the books brings into play an even bigger and in my opinion, more important problem. That makes it justified to be prejudice or discriminating against LGBT people. And if an adult acts that way, their kid could act that way, maybe without even knowing the reason. They just know it's okay. And that makes it harder for kids who are questioning to come to terms with who they are. After all, if your country doesn't give you all the same rights, that must mean there's something wrong with you, right? If there's no laws protecting you, that means it is okay for people to treat you badly. Why would you want to be that way?
So then many questioning kids could go on trying to be something they aren't, and that will just bring more trouble for them and those around them down the road. I'm fully of the opinion that at least part of the reason there are so many divorces nowadays is because people who couldn't experiment or wonder who they were when they were younger end up with a ton of relationship problems down the line. They end up married, unhappy, and confused. If it was more acceptable to be gay or anything not straight, kids would be able to go out with boys and girls when they were younger, and find out what they like. There wouldn't be a problem with it, and when they get older and ready for a long-term commitment, there wouldn't be as big a question to what they were looking for because they already know what feels right.
I'm not saying this would stop all divorces or hugely lower the percentage or anything, but I do think that if people were allowed (or it was much more acceptable) when they were younger to kiss both a boys and girls, they would have much less confusion when applying for colleges/looking for a job/married. Internalized homophobia is something that no one should have to deal with. Even if they are straight, (as my younger brother mentioned to me once which made me love him all the more), how can they know for sure unless they have kissed/thought that way about someone of the same sex? Why should that be such a big deal? It's part of figuring themselves out. Kids have enough pressure nowadays as it is--fear of who they are is stress they shouldn't have to deal with.
And that stress isn't going to go away until society says it's okay to be gay. When mainstream children's television and movies can have openly gay characters, there are no laws saying one person isn't as deserving of rights as others, "fag" is considered just as disgusting a slur as the n-word.
Ah, this got way off-topic. The main point of this entry is that gay rights is becoming a major mainstream topic again, and I have been looking for the perfect icon to use to talk about it. Nothing I've found has seemed right, and I've mostly been using my Milk icons, but even those don't seem as personal or perfect. I saw one of elvensorceress's icons of Ryan with the word "proud" in rainbow colors, surrounded by a rainbow square and thought that was perfect. Disney-related, not completely fandomy (there is a slight difference between fem/slashfangirl and gay pride), and subtle but obvious what it was talking about.
So I asked her if I could use it, and although she didn't want me using an icon she made for herself, she made a whole bunch of Disney LGBT-pride icons for me!!!
And I took the new Ryan/Lucas one (because that boy couldn't be more obvious unless he was kissing another boy onscreen) and the Gabriella/Vanessa one because that girl helped me come to terms with who I am and I just love her. XD
So thank you so much elvensorceress and everyone go check out her amazing and beautiful icons! ♥
My state is finally working on legislation to hopefully make gay marriage legal in New York. Which is long overdue and something I'm quite happy and proud about. With California down and hearing next to nothing about the revote that I thought was supposed to happen a while ago, if New York passes this it will be a major step towards making gay marriage legal and thus equal rights for everyone in the United States. As important as it definitely is for smaller states to pass gay marriage legislation, bigger states make bigger statements. And put more pressure on those around them.
I'm fairly hopeful about this legislation because New York is unique in the sense that, although it has been dragging its feet with this issue, not voting to legalize or officially not allow gay marriages when pretty much every other state has taken a stand (New Mexico the only state behind us), New York does currently recognize same-sex marriages performed elsewhere. Meaning if you got married out of the country or in a state where it was legal, New York will give you all the benefits that straight couples get. We just won't do it. Until now (hopefully).
On the same token I will be extremely devestated if my state officially makes gay marriage illegal. And will be taking to the streets in protest. We do have plenty of religious nuts upstate (where unfortunately our capital is) and even New York City can be pretty conservative at times. The main difference I think between New York and California, is that while California is diverse, pretty accepting of the eccentric for the most part and all about expression, New Yorkers don't care. You can do most anything you want in New York City, and people will walk right past you without batting an eye (they've got more important things to do than notice you're walking around in your underwear). Assuming they aren't tourists. So when the time came to vote in California over same-sex marriage, the conservatives came out in droves to express themselves to everyone else and ended up passing Prop 8, I'm hoping in New York, the conservatives have the sense to realize that just because it's legal doesn't mean anyone is forcing them to do it. And selfishly decide that if it doesn't have to do with them directly, they won't care if it passes.
Although in the long run, gay marriage isn't an issue I'm that concerned about surprisingly. The other day, I was sitting outside with a friend of mine, and a guy walked by wearing a shirt that said simply "Legalize Gay" and then there was a space next to "gay" and that was it. I mentioned to my friend and told the guy I liked his shirt. My friend then turned to me and said "Funny, I thought that was legal." And then said to me the shirt should've just said "legalize gay marriage".
I then informed my friend that gay marriage, although the most publicized, is not the only issue.
Although it was a bit hard to explain to him everything else involved. He is a strong opponent of hate crime legislation. For those who don't know, in the US, if it is decided part of the reason you commited a crime against someone is out of hate (you don't like black/old/disabled/fe/male/Hispanic people), you get a heavier punishment. Currently, although some states consider crimes against people because of sexual orientation (like New York!), not all do. However, currently in the works is the Matthew Shepard Act, which will make crimes against people because of perceived or sexual orientation a hate crime. (it is well on its way too, having now passed the Senate and Judiciary Committee, and the President has already said he'll sign the bill!)
But anyway, even outside of hate crimes and gay marriage (although gay marriages aren't my main priority, I despise the idea of civil unions in the US, because 'seperate but equal' does NOT work for ANYONE who knows anything about American history), those aren't the only issues:
Employent discrimination, adoption by gay couples, housing discrimination, and even the basic benefits of marriage in the United States(virutally none of which have anything to do with religion by the way)--visiting someone in a hospital (or next-of-kin emergency medical decisions--it could go to the parents who disowned the child when they found out s/he was gay), social security benefits after a partner dies, protection against domestic abuse, and even joint custody of children (which if the state doesn't even allow gay adoption, is impossible).
While there are ways to get around these difficulties (such as moving to a state that is more gay-friendly...which sadly there aren't many), the point is they shouldn't have to (My friend was actually pretty shocked when I mentioned gay adoption, and how one state went so far as to make it illegal for a single parent to adopt just in case that person was gay--yes, that was the motivating reason). And that brings me to what I'm most passionate about in this.
The fact that these discriminating laws are (or abscence of certain laws, are not) on the books brings into play an even bigger and in my opinion, more important problem. That makes it justified to be prejudice or discriminating against LGBT people. And if an adult acts that way, their kid could act that way, maybe without even knowing the reason. They just know it's okay. And that makes it harder for kids who are questioning to come to terms with who they are. After all, if your country doesn't give you all the same rights, that must mean there's something wrong with you, right? If there's no laws protecting you, that means it is okay for people to treat you badly. Why would you want to be that way?
So then many questioning kids could go on trying to be something they aren't, and that will just bring more trouble for them and those around them down the road. I'm fully of the opinion that at least part of the reason there are so many divorces nowadays is because people who couldn't experiment or wonder who they were when they were younger end up with a ton of relationship problems down the line. They end up married, unhappy, and confused. If it was more acceptable to be gay or anything not straight, kids would be able to go out with boys and girls when they were younger, and find out what they like. There wouldn't be a problem with it, and when they get older and ready for a long-term commitment, there wouldn't be as big a question to what they were looking for because they already know what feels right.
I'm not saying this would stop all divorces or hugely lower the percentage or anything, but I do think that if people were allowed (or it was much more acceptable) when they were younger to kiss both a boys and girls, they would have much less confusion when applying for colleges/looking for a job/married. Internalized homophobia is something that no one should have to deal with. Even if they are straight, (as my younger brother mentioned to me once which made me love him all the more), how can they know for sure unless they have kissed/thought that way about someone of the same sex? Why should that be such a big deal? It's part of figuring themselves out. Kids have enough pressure nowadays as it is--fear of who they are is stress they shouldn't have to deal with.
And that stress isn't going to go away until society says it's okay to be gay. When mainstream children's television and movies can have openly gay characters, there are no laws saying one person isn't as deserving of rights as others, "fag" is considered just as disgusting a slur as the n-word.
Ah, this got way off-topic. The main point of this entry is that gay rights is becoming a major mainstream topic again, and I have been looking for the perfect icon to use to talk about it. Nothing I've found has seemed right, and I've mostly been using my Milk icons, but even those don't seem as personal or perfect. I saw one of elvensorceress's icons of Ryan with the word "proud" in rainbow colors, surrounded by a rainbow square and thought that was perfect. Disney-related, not completely fandomy (there is a slight difference between fem/slashfangirl and gay pride), and subtle but obvious what it was talking about.
So I asked her if I could use it, and although she didn't want me using an icon she made for herself, she made a whole bunch of Disney LGBT-pride icons for me!!!
And I took the new Ryan/Lucas one (because that boy couldn't be more obvious unless he was kissing another boy onscreen) and the Gabriella/Vanessa one because that girl helped me come to terms with who I am and I just love her. XD
So thank you so much elvensorceress and everyone go check out her amazing and beautiful icons! ♥