Goodbye Safe Career Path!
Okay, I've been majorly stressing and depressed all week (and last week) about my own future. Time to pick classes are next Monday, and also I have to have some sort of major declared by then. I went through this whole huge thing about switching to school of ed, and it was a total disastor that had me literally forcing back tears. Because I was going into it totally blind, not sure if it was really what I wanted to do, or what I should even focus on as far as education goes (like, what age group). But since I didn't know what else I wanted to do, I figured I had no choice.
But, I had no help (except my dad, who really didn't know what to do either and was just keeping me company so I didn't have to do it alone), got virtually no answers, and made an appointment with a total stranger about what classes to pick in a major I didn't know about.
And now today, someone must've spoken to my dad (who had been the one encouraging me to make the switch, along with some other family members and people) about the dream I had about working for Disney or Nick (or what my dad said "children's television"). He called me this morning apologizing for pushing me and telling me to call up my advisor again and tell him that I didn't really want to switch to school of ed., and talk about what to do to follow that career path instead. While I don't blame him for anything, he apparently blames himself. Anyway, after finally telling him I would do it (though not being truthful), I've been thinking all morning about what I wanted to do.
I can see myself in a teaching career. I've mentioned before I taught religion and I like it okay. But then I remember, a few years back, my High School ensemble got pick to sing in Disney World. And even though it was only for a day (the singing, the trip was about a week), we got to see backstage Disney World, learn some of the things the performers there go through, and some of the rules for working there. And it was a total dream come true. I loved it, I loved being a part of it, and thought then that it would be amazing to be able to do that everyday. (other kids with me on the trip were less than thrilled, who were bored or thought the rules excessive, or were just complaining or more interested in hanging out in the park...)
So today, I arrived about 45 mins early to my Japanese class (there was another class going on in the room so I waited in the hallway). I sat down in this random desk in the hallway, and put my iPod in to think. I put in High School Musical 3: Senior Year so I wouldn't be so depressed while thinking. I had the NYTimes out and saw again, of course, a cover story about the economic depression. And part of my reasoning for going into teaching was that it was one of the few safe job markets right now. And strangely, the graduation theme of "We're All in This Together" of course strarts playing. Which of course, is true, no matter what profession, everyone is going into jobs while dealing with the depression.
Then something that should have been very obvious hit me. One of Disney's (and Nickelodeon's too but most famously Disney's) most tired and used themes IS "follow your dreams". And going into a job because it is safe and fairly garunteed is not listening to that message. And how the hell could I ever expect to get a job at Disney if I didn't listen to their message? Maybe it's a bit naiieve, but isn't that part of what I love and believe about the company? That they can promote what can be dismissed as silly and idealistic themes and messages, but then truly believe them? And Disney has made itself into a pretty powerful and strong company because of those beliefs. It has withstood the test of time promoting ideals that most dismiss as childish. And I definitely know, that being a part of a company that stands for what Disney does is absolutely still something I would love to be a part of.
So then I thought that perhaps it would still be smarter to follow education, and try going after Disney once I have some solid ground to stand on.
Then "Now or Never" started playing. And I started laughing. Because as far as Disney magic goes, it was speaking pretty clearly there.
So now I've made another appointment with my advisor (on Friday, picking classes Monday so no time to change my mind really), this time to tell him that I was somewhat panicking before, and would like to stay with New College, and major in something that would be the goal working at either Nickelodeon (especially Nick Magazine...I loved that magazine) or Disney. (although this seems very Disney-centric, Nickelodeon still I think makes itself to follow the same ideals of Disney, only with a more sarcastic and less perfect image. And Disney is what I have the most expierience dealing with already) Ideally, writing for either company. But really, just to be a part of either one, to have my career entail inspiring, entertaining, and helping kids become themselves and find their place in life. Even if it means I have to leave New York (though I still would rather not).
It makes sense though. When I was at my worst, right before I was diagnosed with depression, I was turning to HSM, Disney Channel, and Nickelodeon to cheer me up and inspire me and keep me going. To end up working for them would really be coming full circle.
So, goodbye safe career path! Hello fingers-crossed future. (though in the back of my mind, I'm still thinking worse-comes-to-worse, I could always go back to school and major in education)
Wish me luck.