All the Shame You've Never Felt Before; Hang the moon in your eyes 'cause it don't fit in the sky
All the Shame You've Never Felt Before
Taecyeon/Junsu, R, ~600 words
For saboteurist.
Junsu looks good like this, obscene, staring up at Taecyeon through hooded eyes, his lips stretched around Taecyeon's cock, slick with spit. He's good at this, which Taecyeon hadn't expected, but it certainly makes sense now, the way Junsu's mouth slides down the length of Taecyeon's dick so easily, like it belongs there, the way he obviously loves doing this -- Taecyeon hadn't expected that either, but it's true; Junsu hadn't been bluffing when he said he wanted to blow Taec, and he's going about it a little too eagerly for it to be about wanting Taecyeon to reciprocate. (Which is good. Because Taecyeon has never sucked anyone's dick before, and he's not sure he wants to try, even if it might score him more blowjobs like this in the future -- and even if he did, he's definitely sure he wouldn't want his first attempt to be on someone skilled enough to maybe do this professionally. Especially not Junsu, because Junsu is a smug bastard, more smug even than Taecyeon, and Taec would never be able to stand the shame of not measuring up sexually, even in an activity Taec doesn't particularly like doing.)
Junsu swallows him all the way down, quick and easy, like it's the most natural thing in the world, and then he sits there, face buried in Taecyeon's crotch and Taecyeon's cock hitting the back of his throat, and hums contentedly. It breaks a dam in Taecyeon's brain, he just can't keep quiet anymore, and he starts to babble, a steady stream of words, how pretty Junsu looks on his knees, how perfect he is, how good he's making Taec feel, how Taec's gonna make him feel, gonna make him feel so good --
Junsu's eyebrows shoot up at that, but his mouth is still full, so he can't say anything. Taecyeon doesn't even notice at first, just keeps rambling: gonna show you, you'll see, what you've never felt --
Junsu lets Taecyeon's cock fall from his mouth and collapses in heap on the floor, clutching his stomach and twitching with laughter. "Really?" he gasps in between giggles. "All Night Long?"
Taecyeon scowls. There are thousands of girls all across Korea who kill to have Taec feed them that line, thank you very much. And, sure, maybe it's a little cheesy, but he has an excellent sex voice; girls have had dreams about his sex voice, that should be more than enough to render any unintentional cheesiness moot. He cocks an eyebrow and stares at Junsu, challenging, and opens his mouth, fully prepared to defend his honour.
Junsu beats him to it. "Also," he says, his laughter finally dying down enough to sit up and wipe his mouth with the back of his hand, "I think --" He snorts, almost breaks down again, and has to hold himself upright with one hand, but he manages to hold his composure long enough to say, straight-faced, "I think I was the one showing you." Then he's on the floor again, laughing so hard tears steam from his eyes.
Taecyeon stares at his wilting cock in dismay, the mood sufficiently dead enough that he doesn't even feel like jacking off in the bathroom. He tucks himself back into his pants and stalks out of the room, planning on burying his sorrow in front of the TV. Fuck Junsu and his stupid, fucking mouth. He wasn't that good anyway.
Catcalls greet him outside the bedroom door, and Taecyeon ends up locked in the bathroom anyway, with only his misery to keep him company.
Hang the moon in your eyes 'cause it don't fit in the sky
Changryul (DJ Doc)/Onew, G, ~1500 words
For damson_jam! Could be read as a prequel to Within Reach, which means, again, warning for cheating. Title from the rejected possibilities for Within Reach because I had no idea what to call this.
It's late afternoon when the movie ends, and the streets are bustling with the rush of businessmen and women and students heading home. Jinki has to press close to Changryul in order to avoid losing him to the inexorable push and pull of the crowd. It's not all that hard, with Changryul's full attention on him, the sun glancing off the side of his face and making his smile seem ten times brighter as he looks down at Jinki. He's saying something, about dinner, maybe, but it barely registers; Jinki is too lost in the way the light chases the shadows in circles across Changryul's features, the fiery halo it makes of Changryul's hair. He's hyper-aware of the line of Changryul's body beside him. His skin prickles every time they bump against each other, like the hairs on his arm are reaching out, desperate for contact.
It's stupid, he knows. This crush isn't healthy, not when Changryul is happily married, but Jinki can't help himself -- not when Changryul caters to his every whim, and then some, and takes him out, just the two of them, and treats him to anything and everything he can think of. Sometimes Changryul gets this look in his eyes, like Jinki is the only person in the world, like his opinion on the hat Changryul picked out for him to try on matters more than anything else. Like he's -- scared, almost, and he'll crumble if he does something that gets Jinki's disapproval. He's so earnest and caring and eager to please, and Jinki knows that's just the way he is, it doesn't mean anything, but it's too easy to wrap himself in the fantasy of the two of them, together. To let his imagination run free, to let himself think it never feels like a hyung treating his dongsaeng to a meal, or two friends going shopping together; it feels like they're dating, like Changryul is wooing him. It's wrong, and it's stupid, but it's just so easy that Jinki struggles to hold himself in check, to keep himself from reaching out for a hug at the end of the night, or from feeling disappointed when Changryul claps him on the shoulder instead of wrapping an arm around his waist.
Changryul's phone buzzes, and he breaks off mid-sentence as he fishes it out of his pocket and answers. "Chaehee," he mouths at Jinki, shooting him an apologetic smile as he straightens, his body no longer curved toward Jinki's. It feels cool all of a sudden, and lonely and dark -- well, the dark part is true, at least, Changryul's body a wall between Jinki and the setting sun, but the cold and loneliness is all in his mind.
Get over yourself, Jinki chides himself. It's ridiculous to feel this upset just because reality doesn't happen to match his comfortable dream world.
With Changryul's attention on the voice on the other end of the phone, it's harder to keep up. Changryul's legs are longer, and he's moving faster now that he's not thinking about Jinki's stride, and there are people pressing in from all sides, trying to pull them apart. Jinki starts to trail behind, jostled away from Changryul's side. He keeps his eyes trained on Changryul's back, desperate not to lose him in the crowd, occasionally stumbling over his own feet as he scrambles to catch up. From the side, he can see Changryul's mouth moving, but they're too far apart for Jinki to understand what he's saying.
"I'll be home late tonight," Jinki hears Changryul say as he gets closer. "Don't wait up, okay?" There's a pause, then Changryul says, "Jinki and I are going to dinner." He turns to smile at Jinki as Jinki slips back into step beside him, and his stride slows momentarily. Then his attention is back on his wife, and Jinki starts to struggle not to lose him again.
Changryul's free hand dangles in front of him, just a few steps ahead. Jinki finds himself fascinated at the way it twitches, small aborted gestures to match whatever Changryul is saying. He wants to grab it and hold on -- just so long as Changryul's on the phone, of course, so Jinki doesn't get left in the dust while Changryul finishes okaying their not-date with his wife. Changryul probably wouldn't think anything of it, either. It would be so -- so easy, like everything else Jinki wants for all the wrongs reasons. And Changryul would let him, because he likes doting on Jinki, and because they're comfortable touching each other, and because Changryul has no idea what it does to Jinki. But it's also too much, to taunt himself with something that could be so intimate under the guise of something meaningless.
Changryul must sense that Jinki's fallen behind again, because he stops walking and turns, waiting for Jinki to reach him. His hand snakes out and slides into Jinki's. Jinki's heart jumps as Changryul threads their fingers together, his thumb rubbing the back of Jinki's hand gently. He's smiling when Jinki looks up at him, but there's a question in his eyes. Jinki sucks in a breath of surprise, his emotions at war with each other as he tries to make sense of what Changryul wants. His lips twist into what he hopes passes for a smile. It must work, because Changryul's face splits into a grin and he squeezes Jinki's hand before turning away and starting to move again. Jinki lets himself be tugged along. Changryul's thumb hasn't stopped its slow caress, and the sensation is sending sparks from his arm to his chest, a slow burn igniting in his limbs. He knows something has just happened, but his mind is too numb to figure out what that something is.
"Don't worry, I'll tell you all about it," Changryul tells his wife. The sound of his laughter lets loose a flock of birds in Jinki's stomach. He feels lightheaded, almost dizzy. He feels like he could take flight, only his ankles are chained to the ground -- or maybe he's chained to Changryul by the hand. It doesn't matter. He's floating, miles above them both, except where Changryul's touch is searing his skin.
Changryul flips his phone shut and squeezes Jinki's hand to let him know his attention is back on him again. "Sorry," he says, glancing down at him. He looks like he's about to say something else, but the smile slides off his face and settles into a frown. He tugs Jinki closer until their arms are pressed together. "Are you okay?" he asks, eyes searching Jinki's face for clues. "Did I -- is something wrong?"
His grip on Jinki's hand tightens until it hurts, but his thumb still hasn't stopped its rubbing. He probably doesn't even realise he's doing it, and it's driving Jinki mad. "Is this --" It comes out garbled, and Jinki has to stop, clear his throat, start over. "Is this a date?"
Changryul looks torn. Jinki knows he must be in shock, his mind probably doing cartwheels to figure out how to let Jinki down gently and get himself out of this mess as fast as he can. Jinki wants to throw up. Stupid, he berates himself. Stupid. Stupid. You've just ruined everything. He tries to pull away, but Changryul won't let him.
"You --" Changryul stops. There's that searching look again. "Yes. If you want it to be." He glances down, and it seems he's only just noticed that he's holding Jinki's hand in a death grip, because his forehead creases in consternation and he loosens his hold, although he doesn't let go. "That's okay, right?" he asks, meeting Jinki's eyes. He looks uncertain in a way Jinki hasn't seen before.
He thought we were already dating, Jinki realises. The knowledge knocks the wind out of him. "It's okay," he croaks when he gets his breath back. "It's -- it's more than okay. It's great." By the time he finishes, he's beaming so hard his face hurts, and Changryul looks so relieved that his heart hurts, too -- but it's a good kind of hurt, now, and it only gets better when Changryul wraps him in a hug and he can bury his face into Changryul's neck.
Changryul lets him go with a shaky laugh, but keeps a hold of Jinki's hand. "So. Dinner?" he says, swinging Jinki's hand between them for a moment before letting it drop.
"Dinner," Jinki agrees. He bumps their shoulders together as they set off again, close enough that their arms brush every few steps. When he chances a look at Changryul, he finds Changryul watching him with a fond expression on his face, and he has to duck his head to hide his grin.
It feels good. It feels right. There are things they have to talk about, Jinki knows -- Changryul's wife and where Jinki fits into Changryul's life among the forefront of those issues -- but he's content right now to enjoy the night, and his companion. He can worry later about what will come; right now he's going to let himself be the happiest he's ever been.
Taecyeon/Junsu, R, ~600 words
For saboteurist.
Junsu looks good like this, obscene, staring up at Taecyeon through hooded eyes, his lips stretched around Taecyeon's cock, slick with spit. He's good at this, which Taecyeon hadn't expected, but it certainly makes sense now, the way Junsu's mouth slides down the length of Taecyeon's dick so easily, like it belongs there, the way he obviously loves doing this -- Taecyeon hadn't expected that either, but it's true; Junsu hadn't been bluffing when he said he wanted to blow Taec, and he's going about it a little too eagerly for it to be about wanting Taecyeon to reciprocate. (Which is good. Because Taecyeon has never sucked anyone's dick before, and he's not sure he wants to try, even if it might score him more blowjobs like this in the future -- and even if he did, he's definitely sure he wouldn't want his first attempt to be on someone skilled enough to maybe do this professionally. Especially not Junsu, because Junsu is a smug bastard, more smug even than Taecyeon, and Taec would never be able to stand the shame of not measuring up sexually, even in an activity Taec doesn't particularly like doing.)
Junsu swallows him all the way down, quick and easy, like it's the most natural thing in the world, and then he sits there, face buried in Taecyeon's crotch and Taecyeon's cock hitting the back of his throat, and hums contentedly. It breaks a dam in Taecyeon's brain, he just can't keep quiet anymore, and he starts to babble, a steady stream of words, how pretty Junsu looks on his knees, how perfect he is, how good he's making Taec feel, how Taec's gonna make him feel, gonna make him feel so good --
Junsu's eyebrows shoot up at that, but his mouth is still full, so he can't say anything. Taecyeon doesn't even notice at first, just keeps rambling: gonna show you, you'll see, what you've never felt --
Junsu lets Taecyeon's cock fall from his mouth and collapses in heap on the floor, clutching his stomach and twitching with laughter. "Really?" he gasps in between giggles. "All Night Long?"
Taecyeon scowls. There are thousands of girls all across Korea who kill to have Taec feed them that line, thank you very much. And, sure, maybe it's a little cheesy, but he has an excellent sex voice; girls have had dreams about his sex voice, that should be more than enough to render any unintentional cheesiness moot. He cocks an eyebrow and stares at Junsu, challenging, and opens his mouth, fully prepared to defend his honour.
Junsu beats him to it. "Also," he says, his laughter finally dying down enough to sit up and wipe his mouth with the back of his hand, "I think --" He snorts, almost breaks down again, and has to hold himself upright with one hand, but he manages to hold his composure long enough to say, straight-faced, "I think I was the one showing you." Then he's on the floor again, laughing so hard tears steam from his eyes.
Taecyeon stares at his wilting cock in dismay, the mood sufficiently dead enough that he doesn't even feel like jacking off in the bathroom. He tucks himself back into his pants and stalks out of the room, planning on burying his sorrow in front of the TV. Fuck Junsu and his stupid, fucking mouth. He wasn't that good anyway.
Catcalls greet him outside the bedroom door, and Taecyeon ends up locked in the bathroom anyway, with only his misery to keep him company.
Hang the moon in your eyes 'cause it don't fit in the sky
Changryul (DJ Doc)/Onew, G, ~1500 words
For damson_jam! Could be read as a prequel to Within Reach, which means, again, warning for cheating. Title from the rejected possibilities for Within Reach because I had no idea what to call this.
It's late afternoon when the movie ends, and the streets are bustling with the rush of businessmen and women and students heading home. Jinki has to press close to Changryul in order to avoid losing him to the inexorable push and pull of the crowd. It's not all that hard, with Changryul's full attention on him, the sun glancing off the side of his face and making his smile seem ten times brighter as he looks down at Jinki. He's saying something, about dinner, maybe, but it barely registers; Jinki is too lost in the way the light chases the shadows in circles across Changryul's features, the fiery halo it makes of Changryul's hair. He's hyper-aware of the line of Changryul's body beside him. His skin prickles every time they bump against each other, like the hairs on his arm are reaching out, desperate for contact.
It's stupid, he knows. This crush isn't healthy, not when Changryul is happily married, but Jinki can't help himself -- not when Changryul caters to his every whim, and then some, and takes him out, just the two of them, and treats him to anything and everything he can think of. Sometimes Changryul gets this look in his eyes, like Jinki is the only person in the world, like his opinion on the hat Changryul picked out for him to try on matters more than anything else. Like he's -- scared, almost, and he'll crumble if he does something that gets Jinki's disapproval. He's so earnest and caring and eager to please, and Jinki knows that's just the way he is, it doesn't mean anything, but it's too easy to wrap himself in the fantasy of the two of them, together. To let his imagination run free, to let himself think it never feels like a hyung treating his dongsaeng to a meal, or two friends going shopping together; it feels like they're dating, like Changryul is wooing him. It's wrong, and it's stupid, but it's just so easy that Jinki struggles to hold himself in check, to keep himself from reaching out for a hug at the end of the night, or from feeling disappointed when Changryul claps him on the shoulder instead of wrapping an arm around his waist.
Changryul's phone buzzes, and he breaks off mid-sentence as he fishes it out of his pocket and answers. "Chaehee," he mouths at Jinki, shooting him an apologetic smile as he straightens, his body no longer curved toward Jinki's. It feels cool all of a sudden, and lonely and dark -- well, the dark part is true, at least, Changryul's body a wall between Jinki and the setting sun, but the cold and loneliness is all in his mind.
Get over yourself, Jinki chides himself. It's ridiculous to feel this upset just because reality doesn't happen to match his comfortable dream world.
With Changryul's attention on the voice on the other end of the phone, it's harder to keep up. Changryul's legs are longer, and he's moving faster now that he's not thinking about Jinki's stride, and there are people pressing in from all sides, trying to pull them apart. Jinki starts to trail behind, jostled away from Changryul's side. He keeps his eyes trained on Changryul's back, desperate not to lose him in the crowd, occasionally stumbling over his own feet as he scrambles to catch up. From the side, he can see Changryul's mouth moving, but they're too far apart for Jinki to understand what he's saying.
"I'll be home late tonight," Jinki hears Changryul say as he gets closer. "Don't wait up, okay?" There's a pause, then Changryul says, "Jinki and I are going to dinner." He turns to smile at Jinki as Jinki slips back into step beside him, and his stride slows momentarily. Then his attention is back on his wife, and Jinki starts to struggle not to lose him again.
Changryul's free hand dangles in front of him, just a few steps ahead. Jinki finds himself fascinated at the way it twitches, small aborted gestures to match whatever Changryul is saying. He wants to grab it and hold on -- just so long as Changryul's on the phone, of course, so Jinki doesn't get left in the dust while Changryul finishes okaying their not-date with his wife. Changryul probably wouldn't think anything of it, either. It would be so -- so easy, like everything else Jinki wants for all the wrongs reasons. And Changryul would let him, because he likes doting on Jinki, and because they're comfortable touching each other, and because Changryul has no idea what it does to Jinki. But it's also too much, to taunt himself with something that could be so intimate under the guise of something meaningless.
Changryul must sense that Jinki's fallen behind again, because he stops walking and turns, waiting for Jinki to reach him. His hand snakes out and slides into Jinki's. Jinki's heart jumps as Changryul threads their fingers together, his thumb rubbing the back of Jinki's hand gently. He's smiling when Jinki looks up at him, but there's a question in his eyes. Jinki sucks in a breath of surprise, his emotions at war with each other as he tries to make sense of what Changryul wants. His lips twist into what he hopes passes for a smile. It must work, because Changryul's face splits into a grin and he squeezes Jinki's hand before turning away and starting to move again. Jinki lets himself be tugged along. Changryul's thumb hasn't stopped its slow caress, and the sensation is sending sparks from his arm to his chest, a slow burn igniting in his limbs. He knows something has just happened, but his mind is too numb to figure out what that something is.
"Don't worry, I'll tell you all about it," Changryul tells his wife. The sound of his laughter lets loose a flock of birds in Jinki's stomach. He feels lightheaded, almost dizzy. He feels like he could take flight, only his ankles are chained to the ground -- or maybe he's chained to Changryul by the hand. It doesn't matter. He's floating, miles above them both, except where Changryul's touch is searing his skin.
Changryul flips his phone shut and squeezes Jinki's hand to let him know his attention is back on him again. "Sorry," he says, glancing down at him. He looks like he's about to say something else, but the smile slides off his face and settles into a frown. He tugs Jinki closer until their arms are pressed together. "Are you okay?" he asks, eyes searching Jinki's face for clues. "Did I -- is something wrong?"
His grip on Jinki's hand tightens until it hurts, but his thumb still hasn't stopped its rubbing. He probably doesn't even realise he's doing it, and it's driving Jinki mad. "Is this --" It comes out garbled, and Jinki has to stop, clear his throat, start over. "Is this a date?"
Changryul looks torn. Jinki knows he must be in shock, his mind probably doing cartwheels to figure out how to let Jinki down gently and get himself out of this mess as fast as he can. Jinki wants to throw up. Stupid, he berates himself. Stupid. Stupid. You've just ruined everything. He tries to pull away, but Changryul won't let him.
"You --" Changryul stops. There's that searching look again. "Yes. If you want it to be." He glances down, and it seems he's only just noticed that he's holding Jinki's hand in a death grip, because his forehead creases in consternation and he loosens his hold, although he doesn't let go. "That's okay, right?" he asks, meeting Jinki's eyes. He looks uncertain in a way Jinki hasn't seen before.
He thought we were already dating, Jinki realises. The knowledge knocks the wind out of him. "It's okay," he croaks when he gets his breath back. "It's -- it's more than okay. It's great." By the time he finishes, he's beaming so hard his face hurts, and Changryul looks so relieved that his heart hurts, too -- but it's a good kind of hurt, now, and it only gets better when Changryul wraps him in a hug and he can bury his face into Changryul's neck.
Changryul lets him go with a shaky laugh, but keeps a hold of Jinki's hand. "So. Dinner?" he says, swinging Jinki's hand between them for a moment before letting it drop.
"Dinner," Jinki agrees. He bumps their shoulders together as they set off again, close enough that their arms brush every few steps. When he chances a look at Changryul, he finds Changryul watching him with a fond expression on his face, and he has to duck his head to hide his grin.
It feels good. It feels right. There are things they have to talk about, Jinki knows -- Changryul's wife and where Jinki fits into Changryul's life among the forefront of those issues -- but he's content right now to enjoy the night, and his companion. He can worry later about what will come; right now he's going to let himself be the happiest he's ever been.