Mom
So, I go a week without updating and then twice in one day. Oh well, there's a lot happening...what can I say?
For some reason, this year...I'm irritable, I'm stressed, I have a terrible case of senioritis ALREADY, and I'm very pessimistic as to what the future holds for me. I want to say that I'll get into all the colleges that I want, but realistically, I don't think I will. I have good grades, I'm involved, I can write well (for the essay), teachers will write good recomendations for me, but I'm hung up on SAT scores. I don't know how much they really affect the acceptance/rejection process. If a school such as BC or NYU, known for having tons of applications, sees that you have an 1190, do they automatically throw out your application? Or do they take the time to look at other parts? I don't know. That's what scares me. I would so love to get into all my top choices (NYU, BC, Nova, UConn, Providence) but, do I think that a school as prestigous as NYU will accept me? No.
Not only is the college search stressing me, but also, my work load with classes this year. I want to keep good grades because these are what is on the transcript, however, with 2 AP courses, the work of my staff making my grade in News Staff, and a shitload of pointless busy work in other classes, I'm not so sure I'll be able to maintain this pace for the next 9 months.
And lastly, I'm sick of bullshit. The drama in my life has got me real down. More than it should. I've gotten over the most prominent situation...if you know me at all, you know what I'm talking about. But everyday, it seems like someone else has a problem. Even if its not with me, they ask me to help them. And I can never say no, so I help them and give it my all. Yes, that makes me a good person...but, I just want to know, when is someone going to fight for me? I'm sick of doing it all myself. I want someone to fall back on. I'm not the type that would overuse someone that listened well, not at all. But, every once in a while, I need someone to cry my heart out to. Yes, I have my sisters. Yes, I have Lauren, Christie, Brooke, and Brett...all who would listen without hesitation, but there's that guilt trip I get after I pour my heart out to someone. I always think that they will respond the way I do when someone pours themselves out to me...That would be, I feel for them and try to make whatever the situation is better for them.
And well, lastly, my mother. She just got a new job, she's kind of stressed because obviously she doesn't have the flexibility with her schedule and such that she had at her old job, where she worked for 30 years. I feel her on that, it's cool. But, she's constantly on my back about something. I can only take so much of her nagging before I snap. And with my mood lately, I've been snapping a lot. Then she lays the guilt trip on me telling me that I "really hurt her feelings" and how "underappreciated" she feels. Please. Am I nagging you to make dinner faster, why haven't you done laundry yet?, make my bed before I leave today, get off the computer and do research for the job. No...I don't.
What I need is some Midouris, a nice massage, and then my boy to cry to. He knows exactly what I need, no matter what the situation.
Well, I'm sorry if you just read through my angsty teenager rambling. I'll be better soon. Just be patient. I love you.
For some reason, this year...I'm irritable, I'm stressed, I have a terrible case of senioritis ALREADY, and I'm very pessimistic as to what the future holds for me. I want to say that I'll get into all the colleges that I want, but realistically, I don't think I will. I have good grades, I'm involved, I can write well (for the essay), teachers will write good recomendations for me, but I'm hung up on SAT scores. I don't know how much they really affect the acceptance/rejection process. If a school such as BC or NYU, known for having tons of applications, sees that you have an 1190, do they automatically throw out your application? Or do they take the time to look at other parts? I don't know. That's what scares me. I would so love to get into all my top choices (NYU, BC, Nova, UConn, Providence) but, do I think that a school as prestigous as NYU will accept me? No.
Not only is the college search stressing me, but also, my work load with classes this year. I want to keep good grades because these are what is on the transcript, however, with 2 AP courses, the work of my staff making my grade in News Staff, and a shitload of pointless busy work in other classes, I'm not so sure I'll be able to maintain this pace for the next 9 months.
And lastly, I'm sick of bullshit. The drama in my life has got me real down. More than it should. I've gotten over the most prominent situation...if you know me at all, you know what I'm talking about. But everyday, it seems like someone else has a problem. Even if its not with me, they ask me to help them. And I can never say no, so I help them and give it my all. Yes, that makes me a good person...but, I just want to know, when is someone going to fight for me? I'm sick of doing it all myself. I want someone to fall back on. I'm not the type that would overuse someone that listened well, not at all. But, every once in a while, I need someone to cry my heart out to. Yes, I have my sisters. Yes, I have Lauren, Christie, Brooke, and Brett...all who would listen without hesitation, but there's that guilt trip I get after I pour my heart out to someone. I always think that they will respond the way I do when someone pours themselves out to me...That would be, I feel for them and try to make whatever the situation is better for them.
And well, lastly, my mother. She just got a new job, she's kind of stressed because obviously she doesn't have the flexibility with her schedule and such that she had at her old job, where she worked for 30 years. I feel her on that, it's cool. But, she's constantly on my back about something. I can only take so much of her nagging before I snap. And with my mood lately, I've been snapping a lot. Then she lays the guilt trip on me telling me that I "really hurt her feelings" and how "underappreciated" she feels. Please. Am I nagging you to make dinner faster, why haven't you done laundry yet?, make my bed before I leave today, get off the computer and do research for the job. No...I don't.
What I need is some Midouris, a nice massage, and then my boy to cry to. He knows exactly what I need, no matter what the situation.
Well, I'm sorry if you just read through my angsty teenager rambling. I'll be better soon. Just be patient. I love you.