These are both lovely. I especially like Coils; the flow of metaphors and imagery works so well.
My favorite lines:
Eight years old and the asphalt is liquid hot
Salted tongue, no water
I want home, summer, cut grass smell crisp on the insides of my nostrils
Velvet flesh wrapping granite sensibilities, Like silken coils tensing around a poison intention.
Her startling strike snaps against my own body,
These two poems have a nice weight to them. That probably sounds weird, but it's like the way you lay them out, the cadence that goes along with reading them is not rushed, not fast, it's forced to slow down and take in the meaning and the ideas that come up. Again, lovely work ^_^
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My favorite lines:
Eight years old and the asphalt is liquid hot
Salted tongue, no water
I want home, summer, cut grass smell
crisp on the insides of my nostrils
Velvet flesh wrapping granite sensibilities,
Like silken coils tensing around a poison intention.
Her startling strike snaps against my own body,
These two poems have a nice weight to them. That probably sounds weird, but it's like the way you lay them out, the cadence that goes along with reading them is not rushed, not fast, it's forced to slow down and take in the meaning and the ideas that come up. Again, lovely work ^_^
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