34 - voice/action;

[stilldontgotit]

[Well, look who's back in town! Indeed, it seems that Riku's lost a good five or six inches, but judging by the fact that he's already got his regular attire, has a black cloak slumped over his shoulder, and his journal in one hand, it seems he's already well aware of what's going on

Comments

[voice]

[poppetry]

... fine.

[ she says the word quietly, distantly, but without malice or anger. she just doesn't know what else to say. so ... go ahead, Riku. ]

[voice]

[stilldontgotit]

I was selfish. What I said... I know it was wrong, and as mad as I was, that's still no excuse.

[He sighs.]

I know what the Keyblade means to you, and the fact that I wanted it for myself... you have every right to hate me because of it.

[voice]

[poppetry]

... I think I did hate you. Right at that moment, when I heard you say it. I've never hated anyone except Saix before.

[ a long pause ]

But I've never ... felt that way before. I had to find a dictionary and look up the word, because I wasn't sure what it was. Well, there were two words, actually. Bitter, and betrayed. I'm still not sure ... how I feel about it. Or how I'm supposed to feel.

[ another pause. she's really not even sure what point she's trying to make, right now. ] ... I don't hate you. Not right now.

[voice]

[stilldontgotit]

[That was... pretty brutal, but he honestly expected that. Betrayed, huh? He's not surprised. Not really.

What is surprising is that she doesn't hate him right now. It's enough to warrant a brief pause before he responds.]

I'm surprised. After what I said, I didn't think you'd talk to me in the first place.

It was just... rough. Between the experiment and my jealousy, I let my anger get the best of me, and I didn't think. And what I said about how it should've been mine? Heh... Somehow, I doubt me being the Keybearer would be such a bright idea. Not when I let my jealousy get the best of me.

[There's another pause.]

Besides, if Sora wasn't the Keybearer, then you and Roxas wouldn't exist. I... couldn't do that to you two. It's just not worth it.

Anyway, if there's anything I can do to make it up to you, just let me know. I don't want my selfishness to ruin things between us, but that's really up to you.

[voice]

[poppetry]

[ she doesn't say anything for a long moment. some of what he says rubs her the wrong way -- she still doesn't really want to talk to him, for instance, she just feels that she should. but that's cruel, isn't it? gah, this is so confusing.

Riku might spot her worriedly chewing her lip as she thinks through the camera. ]

... it's not up to me. It was never up to me. It was up to you, Riku. But you still said that. Even if you said it while you were angry... that's not really an excuse.

[ she pauses abruptly, making a quiet, unhappy noise. truthfully, she's missed him terribly and is overwhelmed with relief that he's come back and he remembers. she can barely process those emotions on top of the bitterness that never really went away. ]

I wish this was simple. I really do. But what you said really, really hurt. And you hurt me that badly without even thinking. Axel or Roxas would never make that kind of mistake, not ever. Even Sanji and Sokka would probably know better. So why didn't you?

[ okay now she just sounds upset, her voice

[voice]

[stilldontgotit]

I know it's no excuse. The fact that I thought that to begin with has no excuse, especially after a year. I think what bothered me so much is what Sora and Kairi told me- that if I hadn't let the darkness get to me, then I would've been chosen instead.

But I know it's not that simple now.

[Sigh. This is certainly hard, but no matter. He'll do what he can... And as for her question--]

Because, Xion, I was jealous. Jealous of everything Sora had, and when I finally got it, only to lose it all a week later, that was the only thing on my mind. I let my obsession with the Keyblade get in the way of what's really important because... Heh. My heart was weak.

[And now, for something completely different...]

Why else would I give into the darkness as soon as I got back? I opened the door to the islands, wound up turning against my best friend because I was jealous of him. I even lost control of my own body because I just had to be stronger than Sora

[voice]

[poppetry]

[ oof. that about does it, really. she just makes the tiniest, saddest noise you have ever heard and continues on in a voice just above a whisper, sounding pained. ]

Riku ... I missed you. I was so scared you wouldn't come back, or that even if you did, you wouldn't remember ... me. [ and not just their time in Luceti. everything. that was certainly a risk. ]

[voice]

[stilldontgotit]

[Oh, Xion... Riku sighs. In a way, he did forget her, at least temporarily, but...]

It's okay, Xion. I'm here now, and I'm not gonna forget you any time soon. You mean too much to me.

[..Sappy, but true.]

[voice]

[poppetry]

[ sdkjghlskfdj that just makes her start to cry, though she's quiet about it. ]

You better not leave again, you got that?! [ sniffle. ]

[voice]

[stilldontgotit]

[No, no crying. D: There has to be some way to reassure her, so Riku smiles, albeit a bit weakly. This has been one intense discussion, after all.]

They'd have to drag me kicking and screaming before I'd leave again.

[voice]

[poppetry]

Good.

[ rubbing at her eyeeeees dammit this sucks. for once, she manages to calm down quickly, stemming her tears with a few deep breaths. ]

... Riku ... I want to see you, but ... I think I need a little more time. To think about everything. Is that ... okay?

[voice]

[stilldontgotit]

[He nods.]

That's fine. I know you've been through a lot these past few weeks, so I'll give you some space.