chocolate raspberry sex dust
a full moon, covered by grey clouds of a summer night
a sly smile, content with the experience of this body's achievements
slightly aching arms, they whisper sleep to my mind
i did well today, i am happy with myself.
i woke up and watched a bit of sunday morning on cbs with my mom and a bowl of frosted mini wheats-i love that stuff. (i;m into pretty basic cereal.)
we then went off to the gym, where i walked for 15 min as my warm up and then did 6,000 meters which equals about 3 miles of rowing (which is hard stuff-go try it yourself, it can be really relaxing.) and two thousand of those miles were non-stop, which is difficult for me to do since of my crazy dehydration situation my body puts myself in. but i did it, and well!! i did those 6,000 m in a little under 30 min. Which is also pretty good for rowing! Hooray! I love rowing, I'm so happy that I can row again. (happy happy)
so after the gym, we got back around noon, and i got out of my sweaty clothes and into comfy ones, and just layed in my bed for an hour or so. mainly b/c my body was telling me sleep but at the same time...just relaxing was just as fulfilling to me. it was a nice hour, i cleared my mind and it felt so nice and comfortable to lie there.
then around 1:30 i had some lunch, a bagel!! yum yum. and i watched partial world cup partial dirty dancing. lol, what a combo. but i watched for a bit, and got restless.
in the next couple of hours i kind of dabbled in a few things than moved on to other things b/c i couldn't keep my attention on ANYTHING.
I talked to Andy for a little bit around 4 or so (again around 6:30 or 7 until i had to leave.)
I feel sort of sad for him, he wants to come home really badly. he didn't realize that this was a LONG time to be gone, but its hitting him really HARD now. Which i feel bad for, since i wish i could help him and make him feel more like this experience is GREAT for him. that it's teaching him a lot about the culture and such, and that he'll be better at journal entries, such liek that.
but really....out of this experience of us being seperated for 6 weeks.... i feel like I have been the one to benifit the most out of the situation. honestly, i think i have truly learned from this experience and become a much more self-sufficient, confident, and open person. i feel like i have taken my own advice to heart for once in my life. heh, instead of dishing it out for others, i'm letting myself have it!
and it's true. i need to learn from myself, i've been through plenty...i've got a lot to give. i know more than i think i give myself credit for. i downplay myself a lot in order to feel .... hmmmm it's pretty hard to explain. but i suppose if i put it in words, i do this because i don't trust my judgement of reality-b/c my reality can sometimes be drastically different than others around me. that has gotten me into trouble in teh past, not being able to explain my actions, my emotions. not being able to verbalize the tension i feel can become a large weight upon my shoulders, a weight i have carried for much too long. i feel it is time to shed that mistrust, and basically just GO WITH IT!! hahahaha! be free!! screw constraints, or bounderies, forget it! honestly, just letting myself know that i am well loved and appreciated is a pick me up in my day. but i feel liek I HAVE TO DO IT....no one else can just say to me over and over and over and over, katy we LOVE you, Katy you're so talented, Katy you're kind, beautiful, la la la la. lol-nope! not gunna work for me!
i've got to dish it out for msyelf. then....then i can just be.... carefree i guess you could say. loose, and a HELL of a lot more relaxed.
and that will help me in many many many ways of my life.
thank God I'm here where i am.
thank God I don't know where I'm headed
after all, I adore surprises!
so, i still have a smile on my lips
and in 12 days, someone will kiss those lips again and make them feel alive!!
YAY!!! 12 days people!!! my BEST FRIEND RETURNS!!!!!
ok....so there are a hell of a lot of people who are my best friends here, but still! hoorah for the top hauncho returning! woot woot!!
ok....oh....and i am hopefully coming to Boston this Saterday for the day! I'm coming up with my three friends from home (maybe more?)
hehehehe, let me know if you would like to hook up with us and hang out!!!!
muah muah muah
i love ya
~Katy-O
ps: the sex toy party i went to tonight was AWESOME!!! I bought 3 items too! hooray for me buying things for myself!!! rockin!!! muah muah muah!
a sly smile, content with the experience of this body's achievements
slightly aching arms, they whisper sleep to my mind
i did well today, i am happy with myself.
i woke up and watched a bit of sunday morning on cbs with my mom and a bowl of frosted mini wheats-i love that stuff. (i;m into pretty basic cereal.)
we then went off to the gym, where i walked for 15 min as my warm up and then did 6,000 meters which equals about 3 miles of rowing (which is hard stuff-go try it yourself, it can be really relaxing.) and two thousand of those miles were non-stop, which is difficult for me to do since of my crazy dehydration situation my body puts myself in. but i did it, and well!! i did those 6,000 m in a little under 30 min. Which is also pretty good for rowing! Hooray! I love rowing, I'm so happy that I can row again. (happy happy)
so after the gym, we got back around noon, and i got out of my sweaty clothes and into comfy ones, and just layed in my bed for an hour or so. mainly b/c my body was telling me sleep but at the same time...just relaxing was just as fulfilling to me. it was a nice hour, i cleared my mind and it felt so nice and comfortable to lie there.
then around 1:30 i had some lunch, a bagel!! yum yum. and i watched partial world cup partial dirty dancing. lol, what a combo. but i watched for a bit, and got restless.
in the next couple of hours i kind of dabbled in a few things than moved on to other things b/c i couldn't keep my attention on ANYTHING.
I talked to Andy for a little bit around 4 or so (again around 6:30 or 7 until i had to leave.)
I feel sort of sad for him, he wants to come home really badly. he didn't realize that this was a LONG time to be gone, but its hitting him really HARD now. Which i feel bad for, since i wish i could help him and make him feel more like this experience is GREAT for him. that it's teaching him a lot about the culture and such, and that he'll be better at journal entries, such liek that.
but really....out of this experience of us being seperated for 6 weeks.... i feel like I have been the one to benifit the most out of the situation. honestly, i think i have truly learned from this experience and become a much more self-sufficient, confident, and open person. i feel like i have taken my own advice to heart for once in my life. heh, instead of dishing it out for others, i'm letting myself have it!
and it's true. i need to learn from myself, i've been through plenty...i've got a lot to give. i know more than i think i give myself credit for. i downplay myself a lot in order to feel .... hmmmm it's pretty hard to explain. but i suppose if i put it in words, i do this because i don't trust my judgement of reality-b/c my reality can sometimes be drastically different than others around me. that has gotten me into trouble in teh past, not being able to explain my actions, my emotions. not being able to verbalize the tension i feel can become a large weight upon my shoulders, a weight i have carried for much too long. i feel it is time to shed that mistrust, and basically just GO WITH IT!! hahahaha! be free!! screw constraints, or bounderies, forget it! honestly, just letting myself know that i am well loved and appreciated is a pick me up in my day. but i feel liek I HAVE TO DO IT....no one else can just say to me over and over and over and over, katy we LOVE you, Katy you're so talented, Katy you're kind, beautiful, la la la la. lol-nope! not gunna work for me!
i've got to dish it out for msyelf. then....then i can just be.... carefree i guess you could say. loose, and a HELL of a lot more relaxed.
and that will help me in many many many ways of my life.
thank God I'm here where i am.
thank God I don't know where I'm headed
after all, I adore surprises!
so, i still have a smile on my lips
and in 12 days, someone will kiss those lips again and make them feel alive!!
YAY!!! 12 days people!!! my BEST FRIEND RETURNS!!!!!
ok....so there are a hell of a lot of people who are my best friends here, but still! hoorah for the top hauncho returning! woot woot!!
ok....oh....and i am hopefully coming to Boston this Saterday for the day! I'm coming up with my three friends from home (maybe more?)
hehehehe, let me know if you would like to hook up with us and hang out!!!!
muah muah muah
i love ya
~Katy-O
ps: the sex toy party i went to tonight was AWESOME!!! I bought 3 items too! hooray for me buying things for myself!!! rockin!!! muah muah muah!