(no subject)
I started to pack up my apartment this weekend. This place has some fucking bad zhu-zhu. Illness, death, betrayal...all in the last year. It will be nice to have a fresh start in a new place. We should totally have a priest or pastor come pray for the place..no seriously.
So in packing up I knew I would find some of his things. Mostly crap he didn't want or need or even think about. I found random mail. And you don't even want to know what I found under my bed. I thought I was pretty prepared for this but I was wrong. The little things are actually the hardest to deal with. It's the every day things that you take for granted that hurt the most. And on top of that The Break Up came on right after Entourage. I didn't change the channel. I thought it was something I could relate too (not entirely mind you). I was actually doing well watching it, seeing as we actually watched it together in the theater, until the scene where Jennifer Aniston's character is sitting in her room crying....
Brooke: I just don't know how we got here. Our entire relationship, I have gone above and beyond for you, for us. I've cooked, I've picked your shit up off the floor, I've laid your clothes out for you like you're a four year old. I support you, I supported your work. If we ever had dinner or anything I did the plans, I take care of everything. And I just don't feel like you appreciate any of it. I don't feel you appreciate me. All I want is to know, is for you to show me that you care.
Those words cut like a knife. I felt that way. I still feel that way. I mean there was so much more that happened in regards to our relationship but that's how I felt. I felt under appreciated when I always gave and gave and all I wanted in return was to be appreciated, to be respected and loved. And instead I got none of that and a lot more heartache than one person should have to go through.
it will be good to get out of this place....really good.
So in packing up I knew I would find some of his things. Mostly crap he didn't want or need or even think about. I found random mail. And you don't even want to know what I found under my bed. I thought I was pretty prepared for this but I was wrong. The little things are actually the hardest to deal with. It's the every day things that you take for granted that hurt the most. And on top of that The Break Up came on right after Entourage. I didn't change the channel. I thought it was something I could relate too (not entirely mind you). I was actually doing well watching it, seeing as we actually watched it together in the theater, until the scene where Jennifer Aniston's character is sitting in her room crying....
Brooke: I just don't know how we got here. Our entire relationship, I have gone above and beyond for you, for us. I've cooked, I've picked your shit up off the floor, I've laid your clothes out for you like you're a four year old. I support you, I supported your work. If we ever had dinner or anything I did the plans, I take care of everything. And I just don't feel like you appreciate any of it. I don't feel you appreciate me. All I want is to know, is for you to show me that you care.
Those words cut like a knife. I felt that way. I still feel that way. I mean there was so much more that happened in regards to our relationship but that's how I felt. I felt under appreciated when I always gave and gave and all I wanted in return was to be appreciated, to be respected and loved. And instead I got none of that and a lot more heartache than one person should have to go through.
it will be good to get out of this place....really good.