(no subject)

Feb 16, 2010 18:44

This fic is for gimmick_game. Her prompt can be found within. ♥


Now Lie in It
The first time it happens, Aiba is honestly confused. "But…" he says to the closing door.

After the ninth time, he figures that it's time to call in the big guns.

"Did any of you ever have a girl refuse to have sex with you once she went to your place?"

Jun and Sho exchange looks.

"Captain once banged two girls in a karaoke booth," Nino says reverently.

"Nino took pictures. There was a big scandal," Ohno adds as though any of this is somehow relevant to Aiba's question.

Aiba just nods. "But it's been about ten times now. I get her home, we shower, and then she leaves."

"Wait, wait," says Jun, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Walk us through, step by step."

"I don't want to know this," Sho says with a sigh and a look that says he will settle down and listen if that's what Aiba needs. Aiba gives him a grateful smile.

"So I chat up this girl-any girl, right-and I take her to my place and we shower, sometimes together sometimes I let her go first, and then once we get to the bedroom she's gone. She's totally into until the bedroom."

Nino strokes his chin thoughtfully. "Did you hide your porn?"

Aiba squints as he thinks about this. "Most of it. The apartment-complex wives and the really weird stuff is absolutely hidden. It's totally vanilla porn that gets left out. Discreetly. She'd have to be looking around for it."

"Maybe it's the blow-up doll," offers Ohno.

Aiba punches him on the shoulder on principle. "I don't have a blow up doll aside from the one you guys got me. And you know that Mi-mi just sits in her corner and looks surprised. Besides, she'd probably pop if I put her in the bed." He pauses. "But that would never happen to a real girl."

Sho and Jun exchange another look. "I sincerely don't want to ask," says Sho.

"I think we're going to need to see the scene of the crime if we're going to be able to help," says Jun on a sigh.

So Aiba takes them back to his place.




There is a long, long stretch of time where nobody speaks a word. Nino is on his knees laughing, though, and Sho and Ohno are barely holding each other up as they laugh too. Mostly, though, there is Jun whacking at Aiba's head.

"Ow! Stop it! It's an awesome bed!" Aiba protests.

"You idiot!" Jun manages. "You couldn't figure this out?"

Aiba dodges another blow. "Who would pass up sex with me because of my bed?" he protests. "I've been on national television and talking about some old guy flipping my dick so he could scrub my balls, you know! If they come home with me after that-"

Ohno and Sho tip over, landing on the bed. The whole bed shakes and then the top of the mouth snaps its tethers to the ceiling. There is vague shrieking and more laughter heard from within. Nino buries his face in Aiba's hip and positively howls.

"I guess I need stronger cables," Aiba muses.

Jun smacks Aiba one more time.

arashi

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