im not going to look back
yesterday i looked in the mirror and realized i had changed.
until recently, i was dying to get married, and work and having fun were much more important than school.
now, i am no longer in a hurry to get married. it can wait. i still want to be in a relationship, to be sure, but i am ok with the idea of being unmarried past the age of 25. in fact i am thinking 25 is the youngest i should think about getting married. and school is now important. i do not ditch classes. i read my textbooks. i see my friends a little less and study a little more. (except for this weekend, which so far has been all work and friends with absolutely zero studying, though i did just fill out my fafsa application for next year, which is sorta school related)
when did this change happen? i can't pinpoint an exact day. maybe it was the day i discovered i genuinely enjoyed reading for psych 3. maybe it was when i started feeling confident before midterms. maybe it was when i was dead tired one morning but still got up and went to all my classes. but probably it was when i decided that i am not stopping my education with a bachelor's degree. my outlook on the near future is much different. instead of looking for jobs, i will be applying to grad schools. instead of having a (hopefully) decent job and being able to fully support myself and a spouse, i will still be a student, unable to support myself without help from parents and loans and (hopefully grants/scholarships). now being married at 25 while in the 2nd year of graduate school sounds like an overwhelming task. and not fair to my wife. or me really. it can wait a little longer.
but i still hate being completely single. that hasn't changed. i still want a girlfriend. i still want a serious committed relationship. im not happy without it. but that is still eluding me at the moment.
here's to closing out the quarter strong and finding happiness
until recently, i was dying to get married, and work and having fun were much more important than school.
now, i am no longer in a hurry to get married. it can wait. i still want to be in a relationship, to be sure, but i am ok with the idea of being unmarried past the age of 25. in fact i am thinking 25 is the youngest i should think about getting married. and school is now important. i do not ditch classes. i read my textbooks. i see my friends a little less and study a little more. (except for this weekend, which so far has been all work and friends with absolutely zero studying, though i did just fill out my fafsa application for next year, which is sorta school related)
when did this change happen? i can't pinpoint an exact day. maybe it was the day i discovered i genuinely enjoyed reading for psych 3. maybe it was when i started feeling confident before midterms. maybe it was when i was dead tired one morning but still got up and went to all my classes. but probably it was when i decided that i am not stopping my education with a bachelor's degree. my outlook on the near future is much different. instead of looking for jobs, i will be applying to grad schools. instead of having a (hopefully) decent job and being able to fully support myself and a spouse, i will still be a student, unable to support myself without help from parents and loans and (hopefully grants/scholarships). now being married at 25 while in the 2nd year of graduate school sounds like an overwhelming task. and not fair to my wife. or me really. it can wait a little longer.
but i still hate being completely single. that hasn't changed. i still want a girlfriend. i still want a serious committed relationship. im not happy without it. but that is still eluding me at the moment.
here's to closing out the quarter strong and finding happiness