you should see my scars
this is ... going to be a sorta tmi entry. idk.
so like, i haven't been feeling well lately! So mom was like GO SEE THE DOCTOR AND GET A PHYSICAL I'LL SET IT UP FOR YOU
so the other day i'm half-listening to her make the appointment for me and i sort of ... shriek as i hear her schedule a pelvic exam for me. without asking me. or informing me before hand.
I AM ~AWARE~ THAT YOU NEED THOSE THINGS AND STUFF BUT LIKE. I've had major touching issues since I was nine years old. My mother knows this. For the most part I've been able to become comfortable with hugs and other casual touching, but when it comes to MY LADY PARTS like. i freak the fuck out. NO ONE BUT ME CAN TOUCH DOWN THERE OKAY? OKAY. and even when I flick the bean and what not that's ... all it is. I never do things ~inside~ because it freaks me the fuck out and I can't even wear tampons without giving myself a pep talk ... for all the three, maybe four times I've actually (had) to use them.
so when i go MOM UM WTF R U DOIN she just tells me that i need to do it, everyone gets it done, i have to have it, stop whining. And that ... doesn't sit well with me? I'm not sexually active, I've never had anything wrong with my business down there and ... I don't want to have some stranger invading me in the worst possible way I can imagine if I'm not actively concerned that something is wrong down there. AND I WANT TO FEEL LIKE IT'S OKAY TO FEEL THAT WAY baw.
AUGH, WHAT DO?
so like, i haven't been feeling well lately! So mom was like GO SEE THE DOCTOR AND GET A PHYSICAL I'LL SET IT UP FOR YOU
so the other day i'm half-listening to her make the appointment for me and i sort of ... shriek as i hear her schedule a pelvic exam for me. without asking me. or informing me before hand.
I AM ~AWARE~ THAT YOU NEED THOSE THINGS AND STUFF BUT LIKE. I've had major touching issues since I was nine years old. My mother knows this. For the most part I've been able to become comfortable with hugs and other casual touching, but when it comes to MY LADY PARTS like. i freak the fuck out. NO ONE BUT ME CAN TOUCH DOWN THERE OKAY? OKAY. and even when I flick the bean and what not that's ... all it is. I never do things ~inside~ because it freaks me the fuck out and I can't even wear tampons without giving myself a pep talk ... for all the three, maybe four times I've actually (had) to use them.
so when i go MOM UM WTF R U DOIN she just tells me that i need to do it, everyone gets it done, i have to have it, stop whining. And that ... doesn't sit well with me? I'm not sexually active, I've never had anything wrong with my business down there and ... I don't want to have some stranger invading me in the worst possible way I can imagine if I'm not actively concerned that something is wrong down there. AND I WANT TO FEEL LIKE IT'S OKAY TO FEEL THAT WAY baw.
AUGH, WHAT DO?