Realistic Dreams, Chapter Ten
Paring: Jake/Bella (Twilight)
Rating: M
Chapter Ten: Twist Turn
Bella POV
Edward and I trudged along behind Jake. We had been walking quietly behind him for what had to have been two hours by now. Well, Edward was walking. I was stumbling along behind him. Surprisingly my inability to walk didn't come from my clumsiness this time. I was struggling to keep up as Jake made long strides across grass and rock. He only stopped once to help me over a log and then continued at a pace my short legs balked at trying to maintain. The slow drizzle that had started wasn't helping things, as I began sliding on the ground under my feet.
Whatever was wrong with Jake at the house refused to leave him as we walked through the forest behind the Cullen's house. He kept mumbling something under his breath, and stopping every few minutes to shake his head. I looked at Edward in the hopes that he knew what was going on, but he looked just as puzzled as I.
"What's he saying?" I whispered to him.
He looked back at me. "Something about gross vampires. I'm trying not to pay attention. He did ask."
"Damn right I asked." Came the response back from Jake and I didn't press the issue any further.
My legs ached under the continuous strain of having to walk at my largest stride possible. I could have kissed him when he finally stopped to look at a map and a compass.
"Where are we going anyways?" I asked, panting.
"East. Hoh Rainforest. And we're not moving fast enough."
I choked in response as I leaned on my knees to rest. It's not that I'm the most unfit person in the world, but the pace Jake was trying to maintain was making my lungs burn. I couldn't keep up this half jog any longer. The only benefit is that I didn't notice how cold it had gotten until we slowed down.
"Jake, I can't…" I gasped for breath and shivered. "I really can't go any faster."
"I'll carry her," Edward said, trying to be helpful.
Jake shot him a glower back. "Yeah, not happening. Besides, I'm moving too slow. I'm gonna have to phase. Bella, give me your bag."
I took it off, thankful to be relieved of the weight and handed it to him. He took a length of nylon rope, the kind you used for camping, and tied the straps of my bag to his duffel bag, leaving a long distance in between. He nodded as he got up and turned to me.
"You're gonna get on my back when I phase, after you throw this over it like… well, like saddle bags. And not a word from you smart ass," he said, jabbing a finger towards Edward.
Edward raised his hands in innocence. "I didn't say anything, but can I at least read your mind so we can communicate when you're phased?"
Jacob thought for a moment. "Fine. But don't go digging around."
"I wouldn't dream. Where are we going anyways?"
Jake sighed. "There's a cliff face Sam knows about when you start to get closer to the mountain range, with a couple of rock shelters big enough to stick a tent in along it. We're going sent up camp in one of those, put our backs to the sandstone. Safer that way. Meanwhile, you left a brush at Emily's house when you stayed there, so we were throwing your hair all over the woods all morning. Then we engaged them as soon as we saw them, so they have no reason to head the Cullen house and find this trail. Even if they do, when they find us, there's only going to be one direction that they can come in without having to tunnel through solid rock."
I gasped. I knew things were headed in this direction, but I didn't really think about it until now. I grasped the cold scar on my hand, and wondered if there weren't going to be others with one of these when this was all over. "Is everyone ok?"
Jake sighed again. "Physically, yeah, we're fine. Mentally… There's this thing out there, looks like a zombie fucked a spider and that's what became of it, and it's spooking everyone. People are seeing shit that isn't there. I don't know where Victoria found this thing, but it isn't good."
"And you?" He hadn't been acting anywhere near normal since he got to the Cullens, and as strange as zombies fornicating with spiders was, this was more important.
"Nope. Not going there."
"Jake, come on, tell me. Please?" I was not comfortable with how withdrawn he was being. I needed the Jake I knew and came to love at a time like this, and was not against begging to get it. Something in this catastrophe had to be normal after all, and if it couldn't be Jake, who smiled through everything, who could it be?
Jake looked between me and Edward for a moment before slumping his shoulders in defeat and running a hand through his hair. "Aww, Christ, he's going to find out anyways, I can't keep this shit from him in my head if I tried." He gulped before he began again. "On our way here, we got attacked by two bloodsuckers. We couldn't risk bringing them to the Cullens, so we had to kill 'em. But we didn't have any fire." He looked at the ground. "So we did the only thing we could?"
Edward sneered. "You left them out there."
Jake returned in kind. "Do I look like an idiot? No we didn't leave them out there. We killed them."
"How?" Edward asked, incredulously. "Does that woman bruiser of yours have any other tricks up her sleeve?"
"As a matter of fact she does!"
Their voices had been steadily rising as they argued, and at the last exchange Jake whipped around to stand inches from Edward, staring down at him. I saw them lock eyes, and watched as Jake ground his teeth in the familiar way that signalled his anger. I stared, locked on them as they too were locked in their own contest, and I looked on as they silently waged war with their egos.
Much to my surprise, it was Edward to break away first. His topaz eyes went wide in shock and he broke his stare, choking behind a hand. He swallowed after a moment and looked back up at Jacob. "You… you monster. How could you?"
Jake sneered back, but it wasn't his usual confident expression. It was hollow, devoid of the self assurance he always carried. "See enough then? You know, you vamps are all alike. You never learn. That little slip of a sister of yours stared daggers at me the whole time I was near Bella at your house, and will probably always stare that way at me, even though I'm the one out here doing the most to make sure Bella stays safe and alive. And you? You got told once already not to go looking in heads because you might just not like what you find there, and what do you do? Did you pay attention to a single fucking thing Ve said?"
"That's not the point. How could you do that?"
Jake towered over Edward just like he did back at the house, making the shorter man look small and frail compared to him. Anger rolled off him in waves, like I could see them, falling off his neck and down his back. I felt my stomach go cold with worry as Jake continued. "Because I had to. Because it was the only thing I could do, and you know it."
"There's always another way than… that."
Jake laughed bitterly. "Now I know you let entire lessons of Ve's go in one of your rock hard ears and out the other. No, Edward, there isn't always another way. Sometimes there is only one way, and that way is the hard, dirty way that you idiots like to keep insisting doesn't exist."
Edward glared at him before turning to me. "I'm leaving and I'm taking Bella with me."
"The hell you are," Jake growled back dangerously.
Edward ignored him and walked towards me, grabbing my hand. I pulled against his grip, not gaining any leeway, but making him stop in his tracks. "No, Edward, we're going to follow Sam's plan. It's a good one, we just need to work together." Somewhere, deep inside, I was proud that I made the choice to listen to Jake so quickly instead of letting Edward influence me, but now was not the time to dwell. I wanted them both to be safe, and if that meant having to keep them together, so be it.
"Bella, I will think of something, but I cannot allow you to be around him. He's dangerous."
I tugged again and this time he let go. "That's the pot calling the kettle black and you know it, Edward!"
"You didn't see what he did!"
"Whatever he did he had to!" My new found loyalty overrode my curiosity, but only momentarily. "What… what did you do Jake?"
"Bella, you don't want to know, just trust me, it's bad enough to make me want you to get away from him."
"Edward, his existence is enough to make you want me to get away from him." I stared at him before looking back at Jake, whose chest was heaving as he breathed deeply, trying to control himself. "Jake, what did you do?"
"Fine then, why don't you tell her, you mongrel, show her what you really are."
"You stupid sack of shit!" Jake's hand came up as if he was going to strike him, but he stopped mid swing and instead ran it through his hair, tugging and letting out a growl. "I. Ate. It…. There, are you happy? Ve told us that our stomach acid can break down a vampire's body, so I fucking ate the thing. And as much as it sucked, I'd do it again too." I paled as he spoke the words and felt my stomach churn as I involuntarily imagined Jake swallowing a leg.
Edward coughed again. "You're sick."
"Says the undead monstrosity that tears apart animals."
"She was a person."
"She was a fucking thing Victoria created to help kill Bella, who you would have gladly ripped apart and burned were she here attacking Bella right now. What the fuck difference is there between that and eating her, when you have to?"
Edward blink trying to come up with a response, but none came. Jake exhaled and turned back to me, and part of me cracked as I saw the fear in his eyes. "Jake…"
"I… I'm not proud of it, really… But Bells, I had to. I absolutely had to. When it comes down to being you or them that dies, it's them, every single time."
My head spun at trying to absorb everything I was feeling all at once. The disgust at such an act was there, there was no denying it, but the devotion in his eyes, the sincerity, it changed everything.
You heard me Bells. I did it to protect you. I'm willing to eat something that for all extensive purposes looks human to keep you safe, that has to count for something…
It does Jacob-conscience, but that doesn't stop it from being disgusting.
It seemed hard to accept at first, considering how I felt when I first though Jake was killing people, but then I thought back to the campfire, and to the Third Wife. I thought it noble that she gave herself up so that her family could survive. How could I justify a technical suicide without being forced to take another look at protective cannibalism? Was it really cannibalism anymore? I didn't know, but Ve's words rang in my head.
Sometimes, you just don't have the liberty to keep your morals.
I nearly wretched, remembering how much Jake wanted to get the tasted out of his mouth, but managed to hold fast. "I understand Jake. It's… well it's not ok, but I understand."
Edward gaped at me. "Bella, you can't be serious!"
"I am," I blinked back tears, remembering what the others were doing right now, "and we're wasting time. People could be dying out there because of me and we're arguing in the woods over something that's really stupid in the long run Edward, so let's get to those cliffs and make sure our families aren't dying out there in vain."
Edward gave a heavy sigh. "When did this... become so messed up?" He murmured, betraying his usual manner of speech.
"Probably about the same time it became a fucking war Cullen."
"This isn't a war Jacob."
"Yeah, you're probably right. This is just a battle. The war's coming when we take on the Volturi. If you think it's not going to get worse from here, get the fuck out of the trenches while you can." Jake sounded more and more like a Marine with each passing day.
Edward stared at him for a moment. "You just… believe everything that woman tells you, don't you?"
Jake laughed. "You should know better than anyone that I don't have to believe, Cullen. I've seen. Ve slips up too sometimes. I don't know, maybe it's intentional but I've seen evil fucking things your kind has done. Just evil, there's no other way to describe them. She's seen a lot of evil, whether it be from us, you, or regular people. It didn't get messed up Cullen, it was always messed up."
Edward shut his eyes, and I thought he must be remembering what Ve made him see at the meeting. He didn't speak until he opened them again. "Fine. You're right, you're… both right, it is a good plan. Put our backs to the sandstone. We should go then."
Jake nodded and I found myself hastily turning around as he began to strip off his shorts. I surprised myself by being able to blush at the thought of a naked Jake even out here in a freezing drizzle after learning he ate a vampire. I just hoped Edward didn't see.
I heard the awful sound of bones cracking and reforming and turned around to see him stare back at me from his almost eye-level muzzle. It still shocked me how huge he was sometimes.
He crouched down on all fours so I could sling the bags over his back and get on, before getting up again. It was… awkward to say the least. I remember Renee letting me ride a pony a few times at a fair that opened late spring just outside Phoenix. I liked it, it was a remotely sporty thing I could actually do. But the horses had saddles, here I could feel the muscles in Jake's back flexing as he walked, which made balancing a little harder to do. He walked around in a circle before looking back at me and whining.
"What's wrong?" I asked, errantly running my fingers through his fur.
"He wants you to lie down. We're going to be sprinting, and he doesn't want you to fall off. Closing your eyes might be a good idea too."
"Oh. Yeah, thanks."
"Just hang on. Yeah, you better not drop her, mutt."
"Edward," I warned through clenched teeth as I laid my head down on Jake's surprisingly (for a wolf anyways) broad back, clenched my knees and grabbed at whatever fur I could. I heard Edward sigh as I closed my eyes and then suddenly, my stomach lurched as I jerked forward and landed back again. My hair blew in wind that I knew wasn't really wind as Jake took off. Sounds became confusing. I couldn't tell if I was hearing twigs snapping under Jake, or if it was Edward running beside us. Maybe it was both. Eventually the world began spinning so much even with my eye closed that I had to open them just do see what was going on.
Jake's long fur encompassed most of my view. I had become spectacularly warm from Jake's body heat, even with the wind whipping by us. Above the copper fur, I could see tree tops blurring as Jake moved. So far watching the tree tops wasn't that bad, so I decided to poke my head up to see what was going on.
Of course, I picked a spectacularly bad moment to do so. Looking up, I saw the terrain around us blurring as the trees did. Watching the ground do that was slightly more sickening than the trees, but that wasn't what I was worried about.
What worried me is that we were headed straight for a fallen tree.
It had cracked at the base and when it fell it landed against another tree, creating a block in the path that would have been fine, were we walking and able to go under it. But on a wolf the size of car it posed a far larger threat.
My voice caught in my throat as the trunk came closer and closer. I wound my hands through Jake's fur and yanked hard, hoping he'd notice, but he didn't veer from his course. Finally, right before we hit, I managed "JAKE! LOOK OUT" and tried to shut my eyes to brace for impact, but for some insane reason they refused to shut. I looked on in horror as the tree was in front of us.
And then below us.
And then... above us?
Jacob leapt as we were right in front of the fallen trunk and twisted in a full circle to make in between two nearby standing trees. My stomach swirled with him as my fingers grasped for dear life on the handfuls of fur they were wrapped around, digging deep enough to pinch skin. My eyes finally obeyed the command to shut and I buried my face in Jake's back, cursing harshly as we turned. My entire body lurched forward as we landed and I felt a strong urge to throw up.
And then, of all the ludicrous ideas in the world, we sped up.
I huddled against Jake, begging my throat to keep down Esme's carefully prepared party food, which was threatening to rise. We continued on like this until the sun had nearly set. Somehow, despite my thudding heart and pounding stomach, I managed not to vomit on Jake, though it was by sheer will alone. Finally, as the sun was about to disappear at the far edge of the sky, we made it to a small clearing cut off by a sheer rock wall and Jake got down to let me off.
I climbed my way off him and collapsed on the ground, choking for breath, spitting at the ground, wondering if I should keep trying to keep it down or just wait for it to come up. My eyes burned and my throat stiffed as I clutched for purchase at rocks and twigs, barely noticing Jake shudder back to his human form beside me.
"Bella, are you ok? Just breathe honey." I looked up at him, unbelieving that he'd think anyone could be ok after that hellish ride, but just nodded and continued gasping. Both he and Edward gave me concerned looks before they took to setting up the tent in a crevasse at the bottom of the rock wall. It wasn't long before they started fighting.
"You're doing it wrong, Jacob."
"No I'm not, it goes this way."
"The instructions clearly say those pegs are for the back straps."
"What fucking difference does it make?"
Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. "If you don't properly stabilize the tent, it could collapse on us. You'd know if you did this before."
"I've slept outside before, jackass."
"Yeah, on the ground."
"Shut you fucking mouth leech before I rip you a new one."
"As if you could, pup."
Fed up, I weakly threw a large pebble between them. "No... goddamn... fighting..." I managed to pant out before rolling onto my back to rest. The tent went up in silence after that.
I laid back on the layer of sleeping bags at the bottom of the tent when they were done. Jake had brought about 8 more than we needed, but I was grateful for the extra layer of cushion. Still, the wind was sharp and the only thing that was stopping it from piercing the tent was Jake's heat. Which is why I was fiercely upset when Jake got up to leave.
"Where are you going?" I asked, aghast that he would leave at a time like this.
"I'm going to take first patrol. Edward's gonna watch you and take second. We'll switch between that and having both of us here every few hours so we can report back and make sure to head off anyone that makes it here." He looked over at Edward. "If you need to kill one, drag it back to the fires. They're on the map I gave you. I got my own way of disposing of 'em." He gulped, looking at me, and then ducked out of the tent.
My heart sunk as I watched him zip it up from the outside and turned around to see Edward picking lint off his sweater.
This was going to be a long night.
I laid back down to see if I could get some sleep, but, despite the emotionally and intestinally exhausting journey, I could tell immediately that sleep was not coming at time soon. Getting back up, I took a deep breath and saw Edward still picking at the now non-existent lint on his sweater.
"So," I said, looking down at my shoes, trying to find the words to say. "How have you been? I mean... was I this lame before?"
Edward laughed, despite the both of us. "No, you weren't. Then again, it wasn't this awkward before." He ran a hand through his hair and our eyes met. I felt the familiar tickle in the pit of my stomach I always felt when he looked at me, but to a far lesser degree than ever before. Somehow, I didn't think it would ever go away.
"No... we weren't." I paused for a moment, twisting my fingers in my lap. "I'm really sorry about all of this?"
Edward blinked and looked at me. "All of what?"
"You being out here to help me when we aren't even...." I trailed off as Edward raised a hand to stop me.
"Bella, you would have never gotten into this mess had we not attracted James' coven to you. The least we can do is finish the job."
"It's like you're endangering your family for nothing."
Edward rolled his eyes. "As if Alice would ever let me live down letting you die. Even if I didn't want to come, she would have dragged us all here. This isn't for nothing Bella. You're still... special to me."
"Thank you, Edward." I let my hands fall to my sides and watched Edward lean his head back against the wall of the round tent.
We fell into a silence that wasn't entirely comfortable. The cold was seeping through the tent and into me, even though I already had one sleeping bag wrapped around me. I was just starting to shiver when Edward spoke up again.
"So what do you see in him?"
As odd as it was, I didn't expect that to be coming. I should have thought about it, but I still jolted when I heard the words come out of his mouth. "What... what do you mean?"
Edward scoffed lightly. "I mean we're nothing alike. He's... he's a child, and immature and his thoughts about you are entirely immodest and-"
"Edward," I warned through gritted teeth, feeling myself become suddenly angry. "Do you always have to talk about him that way? I get it, you're older than him by nearly a century, but you're the same to me, and you've never considered me a child."
"That's because you're not. You're extremely mature for your age."
"And Jake would surprise you."
"He certainly surprised you."
"I didn't leave you because of him. I thought we were over that."
Edward laughed again. "No, I guess we aren't. You have to admit it's not very believable."
"My relationship with Jake isn't believable?" I felt my anger rise again.
"No," said Edward shaking his head. "That's not it. Jacob having nothing to do with you breaking off our engagement is unbelievable."
"Oh." As I caught myself I saw that I had jolted up and my fists were clenched. I relaxed again, taking in his words and found myself agreeing with him. "You're right, I guess. Just not the way you think you are. It had something to do with Jacob and the rest of the pack. I wanted to see them, whenever I wanted... and I didn't want to become their enemy."
"I'm not their enemy, Bella."
"Can you blame them for thinking so? I mean you yourself told me that you were the perfect predator and now you're mad because they agree with you." Edward set his jaw and said nothing. We fell into silence again before I answered his original question. "He's... he's normal. Not to say you're weird but he's possibly the best adjusted person ever to suddenly turn into a mythological creature. And he's funny and... relaxed. I don't feel like I have to try to be something more around him, like I don't measure up. I can just be... me, two left feet and old tennis shoes and all. There's no pressure and I'm not standing in awe of him we just... are."
Edward looked at me a second before beginning to nod slowly. He chuckled under his breath and said "Sounds nice. Comforting and warm. Not hard and cold... like me." He smiled sourly.
I shook my head. "Don't say that Edward. It's not that you can't be comforting. You're just... magnanimous in ways Jake isn't. You're scary almost. You're..."
"I'm a big bad vampire?" He said, laughing sincerely this time.
"Yeah," I said, laughing back. "But Jake's the big bad wolf, so it's not like he's any better in that regard.
Silence descended upon us for a third time and I shivered, truly feeling the cold. It was getting easier and this time I just let the minutes tick by, but Jake's imprinting, the white elephant in the room was still there, even if I was the only one that knew about it.
I knew that this was the time. This was when I had to tell Edward, in case anything happened. He might already know, given his power, but I owed it to him to say it. I just didn't know how to make the words come up, so I sat there and stewed, my finger twisting renewed. That is, until he said it.
"I just still wish you'd think you were making a mistake and come back."
I looked up at Edward after he spoke, smiling sadly. The lilt of optimism in his voice was agonising and I pulled my knees up to my chest, half to hide from him and half to keep what warmth I had left in. I knew then that he didn't know about Jake's imprinting from reading someone's mind and that it was up to me to tell him. "That's never going to happen Edward."
He looked down at me from the spot in the ceiling of the tent he was previously staring a hole in. "Are you sure?"
I nodded into my knees.
He swept a hand through his hair. "How do you know?"
Seconds ticked by as I fought to get out the words that would crush this last ounce of hope. As I met his eyes he seemed as though he expected me not to answer. How wrong he was.
"He imprinted on me Edward."
Edward frowned. "Imprinting. I know that word. I've heard it in the minds of the pack. It's not the biology meaning it's..."
"Soul mates," I finished for him.
He laughed cynically. "You bought into that? How do you even know it's true?"
I rested my chin on my knees, not daring to look at him. "I felt it happen. I felt the electricity go through my body and end at him. And, I know it's kind of stupid, but I dreamed of it before it happened. We rose into the sky and exploded like a star. I felt the pull towards him... like gravity."
I could feel Edward's eyes bore into me as I waited for him to speak. Hours seemed to go by before he opened his mouth again. "So that's why your scent changed."
I looked back up at him quizzically. "My scent changed?"
He nodded. "It was subtle. I don't think the others noticed, but I did. It's been getting stronger ever since we got back, but I think they've confused it as it being the scent of the wolves on you."
"Huh." I nodded looking down at my feet. I was glad he seemed to understand, but something was off and I couldn't tell what.
Uh, babe? His timeline's off.
Ice shot down my back as Jake's voice rang true and I raised my head up to look at Edward. "When did my scent change?"
"It's been different ever since you came to get me in Italy. Sort of lighter and airy."
The cold feeling entered my gut and stayed there. "Edward... Jake didn't imprint on me until last week."
Edward's eyes widened in alarm. "What do you mean he only imprinted last week?"
"He only imprinted last week. Not when you were away. It was at one of our barbecues."
"But, if he only imprinted last week... what happened to make your scent change?"
I felt my mouth run dry as I thought over what possibly could have happened since then. "I.... I don't know?"
"There's nothing?"
I never got to answer his question, as both our heads turned to hear a low rustling come from just outside the tent.
Jake POV
I ran through the trees in the cross hatch pattern Sam and I discussed, looking for any evidence of a trail. It seemed like we had lost the leeches for the time being, but I didn't know how long it would stay that way. I headed back towards where I knew there'd be fighting to see what was going on. I could hear the fighting, but nothing made sense, especially not the jumbled images I was getting from my brothers. They all seemed to be in the thick of it and it was distracting to see the constant tumble and whirr of fighting, so I tried to ignore them as much as possible. Running down the creek I followed up the path until I came to the same ridge Sam and I stood on, only this time on the other side. As I got to it, I stopped and peered over it to get my bearings.
What I saw was carnage.
The battle had spread out since the Cullen's had joined and it was more terrible than any of the blurred images in my head could have told me. The red headed leech has finally sent her full force at us and the ensuing chaos could only be described as a grade A clusterfuck. I watched as the big Cullen - Emmett - clawed at two newborns at his back while a third rushed him, all the while the emotion controlling one tried to get the two on his back off him while fending off one of his own. The little one was a sight to behold, cleanly tearing though one leech and piking it towards a fire before heading for another one. Then another wave came by and I could barely watch as she retreated as the newborns tore after her, one managing to get a bite in on her shoulder before she threw it off. Seth and Jared were being circled along with the doctor. I would have called you crazy had you told me Carlisle Cullen was would be backed into a corner trying to protect my pack while screaming orders to charge on his command a week ago, but there it was, happening before my very eyes. Fires raged all along the side of the ridge, the screams of newborns being dragged into them echoing through the valley and I was glad we were far from civilization at that point. The path down the ridge itself was littered with still moving bodies that Colin and Brady were working to drag up and into the fire. I was shocked that Sam called them in but there was literally no one left by the sounds of it. I could see Paul rolling through the brush tearing a newborn apart and Embry and Quil were trying to rout five of them away from the top of the ridge. It looked like they would get over until Sam leapt up over the top and came down on one of them.
Then I heard a horrid shriek and looked up to see Blondie tearing off through the middle of the field, Leah behind her.
It's back. Whatever it is, it's back and it's just......
Leah gave an anguished groan in my head and the queerest glimpse of Sam telling her that he hated her and she'd always be alone popped into my mind before another one of Blondie's cries brought me back to earth.
"EMMETT! SOMEBODY SAVE EMMETT!" I watched her run right by the big guy not even paying attention to him as she raced through the clearing. It took some concentrating to read those black eyes, but after looking at them for a second I could see the pure terror in them. It was then that I noticed that some of what I thought was smoke down the ridge was fog. It was that thing, the horrible spider thing. I couldn't see it but I knew it was there. I wanted nothing more than to dive in and help my brothers until I remembered where Bella was and that she needed me. Shaking my head I got down to business.
Sam, what's the report?
Not good. We've been holding but... they just keep coming.
I felt Jared jolt as he was thrown off the back of a bloodsucker. It's that peg-leg thing. It keeps trying to drive them over the ridge. They're just throwing them at us, it's like the newborns are shock troops.
I shook my head in rage. Do you need me to stay?
No! Sam said as he rammed into a leech. We haven't seen the red head in a few minutes. Get back there and make sure you haven't been followed.
Oh shit.
I ran back towards the rock shelters praying that the red head wasn't going that way.
Bella POV
Edward motioned for me to get to the back of the tent by the wall as he stood in front of me. I could see his eyes scanning back and forth from my vantage point and watched, wishing I could hear what he was trying to hear too, so I wouldn't be stuck back here not knowing what was going on.
We stood that way for a moment, every muscle in my body tensed and every angle of Edward's frame enhanced by his stance. Without the sleeping bag wrapped around me any longer I could feel every bit of the cold as it penetrated my body, leaving icy needles in its wake until I wasn't even sure I could move without my limbs breaking.
Finally, after what seemed like a full minute he stopped and his shoulder's sagged.
"It's just Jacob."
As he spoke the tent unzipped and Jake stepped his way back in. My body barely obeyed but I found myself running past Edward to crash into Jacob's arms. I felt him lift me up in his bear hug and I didn't even care that it was crushing me, because it was Jake and he was ok.
"Oh god, Bella, you're so cold! You're practically blue. Are you alright?"
My teeth were chattering, but I nodded. My limbs defrosted and I don't think I've ever found his heat to be quite this delicious before. He felt hotter than ever but I was glad to finally be warm again.
He let me go and put me down again before turning to face Edward.
"It's bad news out there. We lost Victoria. I don't think she followed me here, but we don't know where the hell she is, she disappeared off the field about a half hour ago."
Edward pinched his forehead. "Are you certain? You have no idea where she is?"
"Yeah, I'm certain. Sam lost her while he was trying to fend off the latest rush."
"Latest rush?"
Jake nodded. "Yeah. They're rushing us now. We even had to call the new guys in to help deal with the bodies. I'd try and stay away from there if I were you, too many thoughts running around and most of them bad. That thing I talked about before... it makes people afraid. Makes them see their worst fear I think. Set Blondie in a dead run because she though your tank of a brother was in trouble, but she ran right passed him like she didn't see him. Whatever you do, stay the hell away from the fog."
"What about Ve?"
Jake shook his head. "I didn't even have time to ask once I got to Sam. I haven't heard anything about her."
Edward sighed visibly. "I should get out there. Who knows where Victoria is at this point."
Jake nodded. "Just remember, they're fighting on the West ridge, it's there on the map. And for fucksakes be careful."
Edward sneered back at him. "I'll be fine. You just make sure Bella is ok." Edward moved for the opening and walked out, leaving me alone with Jake.
I turned and got back to my little huddle of sleeping bags. It was all a little too much to handle. Something was terrifying my friends out there and Victoria... her red eyes burned in my mind and I tried to think of anything else to get my mind off them.
Jake sat down beside me and wrapped his arms around me. "I was so worried about you. It's hell out there."
I paled. "How bad is it?"
Jacob's face was stony and he gritted his teeth. "It's like I said, and worse. You can't tell the smoke from that spider thing's fog half the time and it's driving us into a panic. Something's gonna give somewhere. Either Ve's gonna get back, or they're gonna break over the ridge or something." I shuddered at the thought, and Jake gripped me closer. "You're so cold Bella, I'm sorry I left you here with him. If anything he made you colder."
"It's fine. I needed to talk to him anyways." I rested my head on his shoulder as he brushed his fingers across my arm.
"Talk to him? What about?"
"I told him... about us."
Jake snickered. "I would have thought it was kind of obvious."
"I told him about the not so obvious part."
"Oh." He stopped smiling and looked at his hands. "So how'd he take it?"
I was shocked by his calmness. I had expected him to gloat or... act immature in some way or another. Look up at him I realised just how much we was a man, and how much I still considered him a boy. We were... a funny sort of contradiction sometimes, from body temperature to inherent grace.
"He... he took it... well. As well as can be expected anyhow. Thought that you might be tricking me for a moment but he accepted that you weren't when I told him."
Jake nodded. "That's good of him."
Just how mature was he going to get in the next few hours? "Yeah. It is. He did say something strange though."
"Oh? What's that?"
"He said that my scent had changed. He thought it was because of the imprint."
Jake shook his head with a chuckle. "I think he's losing it, your scent's fine. It's probably just the 'wet dog' they say I smell like."
I screwed up my face, confused. "No, he was wrong but not about that. He said it changed ever since we were in Italy. It didn't make any sense."
"It's never changed for me."
I looked up at him. "You couldn't always smell me the same way he can. If it did change, it was sometime between when he left and before you... What if he's right?"
Jake smiled. "If he's right, who's to say he didn't do it? Maybe it's because he left. Maybe it's for a thousand reasons. Is it a problem?"
"I... I don't know."
"Well... what changed after he left?"
"You mean besides the whole dead to the world thing?"
"Well, yes."
Now's the time to tell him Bella honey. You can't keep it a secret forever.
He'll think I'm crazy.
Right, the werewolf is going to think you're crazy because you hear a few voices. I don't think so.
When Jacob had a point, he had a point. I took a deep breath and started. "Well... This is going to sound crazy, I know it, but there was a reason I wanted to do all those... crazy dangerous things before. The bikes, and the cliff diving and stuff."
Jacob gently pulled me down to sit in his lap and I finally stopped the last of my shivering. "I always figured it was sort of a 'learning to live again' thing."
I chuckled darkly. "No. Not at all. When I did those things, I... I could hear his voice."
I felt him stiffen against me. "You... We... I helped you... what?"
I cringed, not wanting to face this. "I'm sorry, I am, it's just-"
He cut me off. "You're sorry? You try to kill yourself just to hear his voice and you're sorry? How in the hell can you even think that's good enough?"
I felt a tear slip down my cheek before I even knew I was crying. "I was just... lost." I turned to face him and nearly shuddered at what I saw. His usual chocolate eyes looked back behind a scowl I hoped was usually reserved for vampires right before he killed them. I backed away slightly, allowing him to get up.
He paced back and forth before he started talking again. "I cannot believe you used me to just to hear that bastard's voice. Is that the only reason why you started spending time with me?"
I jumped to my feet. "No! No it's wasn't not after I got to know you?"
"Oh, so it was why you started? How gracious of you."
I hung my head, knowing I couldn't deny that charge, not fully. I had used him, and on some level I deserved this.
He began again. "You know, on some level, I'd always known you were using me, but I just..." He gestured wildly. "I never thought it was that direct. I always hoped it was unintentional. That you didn't fucking mean it, you just couldn't help it. And I sure as fuck thought it was because you needed someone to pull you out of that hole, not to fucking hear..." He squeezed his brow, shutting his eyes and standing still a moment. I got up and put a hand on his shoulder, wanting to do something, anything to stop his pain. He pulled away, facing the tent before speaking again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. Just... go to bed."
"Jake I-"
"Go. To. Bed."
Words rose to my throat to protest but after seeing the scowl return I thought the better of it and nodded. I crawled into my sleeping bag and turned over, not realising how tired I was until I laid my head down. With all the walking, it wasn't surprising. Despite the thudding in my chest over Jacob, I found myself drifting to sleep quite easily.
Jacob POV
I watched her crawl into the bag as I tried to calm myself down. As much as all that didn't matter now, and even though I had her and he didn't, the knowledge that our friendship started not because she needed someone to lean on, but because she wanted to hear that fucker's voice ate me alive. It wasn't until I could hear her breathing steadily and deep that the last of my rage subsided.
I sat guard, knowing that I wouldn't fully calm down until I could get back out there and stop this. But as it was, I wouldn't be getting out there for awhile, since Edward and I were supposed to stay in the tent until early morning, hoping that we could ride out the battle and keep Bella safe that way.
The seconds ticked by as I paid attention to Bella's breathing and heart beat, nearly the only sounds in the tent and struggled to get my breathing and heart rate in line with hers. I almost had to laugh. Of all the people in the world, only Bella could get me this angry and still have me needing to be by her.
It took another few hours for Edward to get back, and by that time I had stilled myself enough to be sitting by the opening when he pulled the zipper down. He stepped, not looking the slightest bit dishevelled and immediately looked to Bella.
"How is she?"
What, no hello? Asshole. I ran my hand through my hair to stop my anger from starting all over again. "She's fine. She's been asleep for hours."
'Well she had a long day." He sat down on the other side of the tent.
'Yep." I shut my eyes, content to fall into silence, but the leech just couldn't leave well alone.
"Is something wrong?
I opened my eyes to glare at him. "You mean besides a hoard of leeches and some fucked up movie monster trying to kill my mate." If I was pissed because of him he could damn well be pissed because of me, and a small part of me smiled when he flinched at my word choice, juvenile as it was. I knew he knew about the imprint, and petty as it was, I was gonna damn well rub it in. I know Bella hated it when I punished him for what she went through, but if anyone deserved punishing, it was that asshole.
He nodded. "Yes, I mean besides that."
Considering how much I wanted to punch something right now, his being too dignified to stoop to my level wasn't helping me any. "None of your goddamn business." I stared at the back of the tent, trying not to pay attention to him.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see him roll his eyes and pick at his sweater. "No need to be rude."
"Look!" I practically shouted and saw him eye Bella protectively. I decided to pull back before he accused me of something and I really lost it. "Just... tell me what's going on out there."
Edward sighed. "Things are starting to pick up. I caught sight of that... thing right before it disappeared."
"It's gone?"
"Well, we don't know where it is anymore. But we haven't seen Victoria either. I doubt they left."
I nodded. "Do you know what that is?"
He shook his head. "No, and neither does Carlisle. I've never seen anything like that before."
"How are we doing?"
"Much better now. Without that smog we've been able to co-ordinate. We should be able to pull through just fine."
"Any casualties?"
"One of your younger ones came across a newborn on his patrol sweep, ended up with a severely twisted ankle before we could get to him. He's fine though."
"Brady or Colin?"
"Brady."
I could feel my expression sour. "I guess he's gotta learn somehow."
"I guess." Blissfully we fell into silence until he opened his mouth once more. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"
I shook my head slightly, a chuckle coming out. "You're really a piece of work, you know that?"
"What on earth have I done now?"
"Same thing leeches always do. Ruin lives."
"You know, if she's supposed to be your mate, you spend an awful lot of time worrying about me."
I shot my head up. "You left."
"I came back."
"After you shattered her."
"That was never my intention."
"What the fuck do you think telling her that you didn't love her would do? That she would just get over it? I don't give a fuck who you are, you get betrayed like that it fucking tears deep."
He sighed. "I... admit now it was not the best of decisions."
I looked at him incredulously. "Not the best of decisions? Are you some kind of idiot?"
"Well it's not like every decision you've made has been sound."
"No-" Bella stirred, so I lowered my voice. "No, but I never would have left her like that. Even if I thought she were better off without me I would never flat out abandon her. What you've done... what you've caused... it's not forgivable."
He pinched the top of his nose. "She seems to have forgiven me."
I near lost it as a screamed through whispering at him. "Do you know what you did to her?"
"You took great pleasure in showing me as I remember."
"No, not that. You drove her half insane. The whole reason why she bothered to look me up was to do things dangerous enough to have a fucking auditory hallucination of your voice."
I wish I could be glad that his face fell, but I wasn't. "She what?"
"Yeah. That cliff you saw her jump off of? That was for you. To hear you. And she nearly drowned in the process. You're fucking lucky I love her too much to gut you right now."
"I... I had no idea."
I shook my head. "Idiot."
"Look, I... I'm-"
"Don't you dare fucking apologise to me. You didn't hurt me. Apologise to her. And it doesn't really matter if you have before, because you don't even know what you did."
He looked down at his sweater again. "I can understand why you hate me."
I sighed. "I don't hate you. Well, I sure as hell do right now, but not all the time. You were nice to her, for a while I guess." What the hell was wrong with me? I just admitted this leech wasn't all that bad.
"So I was saving her for you?"
I shrugged. "I know she told you what happened, so think what you want about it."
"I guess... So this all started before you, you know, the first time you... turned?"
"Phased. And yes, it started before that."
"Maybe that's why here scent changed..."
"Terrible lapses in judgement can cause that?"
"Not... really. It's just odd. I've never experienced that before in my life."
"Well, the same can be said about freaky spidery things."
He nodded slowly. "True enough. It's still odd."
"Look, we have better things to be worrying about right now?"
"Like what? This could be seriously affecting Bella's health. It might be dangerous."
Just then, far closer than it should have been, one of my brothers sounded off in a high pitched howl that dripped of warning. Edward and I both looked at each other in alarm.
"Like that."