Realistic Dreams, Chapter Nine, part one
Paring: Jake/Bella (Twilight)
Rating: M
Chapter Nine: Eras End As The War Drums Begin
Another one that's too big, here's part one
Bella POV
My hand flew over the page of my last exam. It was English, and the one I was best prepared for, so all I really wanted was to get it over and done with, so I could move on from high school and towards the rest of my life. I tapped my pen against the edge of the desk, trying to form my next thought. Last question, comparison of Shakespearian Romance to Victorian Romance. Given my experience with Shakespeare, the Brontes, and Jane Austen, this should be a breeze, but, like several other times during this test, I was momentarily blanking. To my own surprise, it had nothing to do with test jitters, that Edward happened to be sitting 3 rows away from me because somebody brilliantly decided the whole senior class should take the English test at the time in the gym (not that there were that many of us anyway), that my mom wasn't going to see my graduate because Phil broke his leg, or the fact that Lauren had not-so-conspicuously been shooting me glares from two seats across.
It was because I hadn't heard from Jake at all since he left my house yesterday morning. He hadn't called last night, and I found myself staying up waiting for nothing as well. I did hear a lot of howling going on last night, so I had initially thought it was pack stuff. I called him this morning, but Billy said he hadn't been in all night. So, of course, the worst possible scenario jumped into my head: He was lying in three pieces somewhere in the woods having been torn apart by Victoria. Somehow, I managed to avoid a near panic attack by staring very hard at my acceptance to Seattle's English program (thankfully one where you could take most of the courses online), and reminding myself that a life with Jacob meant having to get a job, which meant having to graduate high school. I fumbled horribly through the obstacle course for Gym, but that was to be expected, and I knew (or at least hoped) that Coach Clapp would let me squeak by with a B for 'effort.' But, as much as I tried to throw myself into the English test, every so often I would find myself zoning out and my thoughts coming back to rest on Jake being in danger, Jake being injured, or even worse, Jake being dead.
I sighed audibly again (garnering another glare from Lauren) and forced myself to answer the question. I had to scratch out the last three words as they became illegible from my pace, rewrote them and leapt up, only to fall over as the force from my standing up caused the desk to topple sideways, catching my foot on the way down. Mortified, I hurriedly grabbed my things and righted the desk, as Lauren snickered at me, and then nearly sprinted to the front to hand my test in.
One of the adjudicators smiled at me politely and said, "I'm sorry, I can't let you go for another 20 minutes, please take a seat on one of those benches. And, of course, please be respectful of your other classmates."
I felt my shoulders slump as I nodded and headed for the benches. The temptation to tap my feet was incredibly strong, so eventually I pulled out one of my English novels and began reading, even though I had just finished studying them and didn't really want to look at them this soon. Other people eventually finished and I found myself feeling less awkward as the benches beside me filled up. Angela smiled as she sat down beside me and turned on her iPod. I gave a nod back, and then went back to reading the same sentence for the fiftieth time as Wuthering Heights jiggled between my nervously bouncing knees. I looked up to see Edward finishing and getting up. My throat went dry and painful at the prospect of having to sit beside him, while worrying for Jake, while worrying what Jake would think about him sitting beside me, while knowing that all this worrying is really just stupid and childish, and Jake wouldn't even care really, and I'm the only one making a big deal out of this, and I'm giving myself a stomach ache for nothing and-
"It's half past two. All those students who are finished may now leave."
As the adjudicator spoke I stopped my admittedly lame inner monologue and bolted for the door. Somehow I managed not to do anything clumsy until I got outside of it - when I slammed into the lockers on the opposite side
I growled under my breath as pain broke out in my forehead and left knee. My temples pulsed from the sudden stop and I couldn't believe I just did something that stupid. I peeled my face off the metal as I heard Mike asking if I was alright behind me, but before he could come and try to help me, or Angela or Lauren, or, god forbid, Edward notices what I did, I ran off towards my locker, ignoring the slight limp I had taken on thanks to my slammed knee.
Books, bag, other assorted crap, come onnnnn, I whined in my head trying to get out of this damned building as fast as possible. I fumbled through loading my bag when Mike finally made his way beside me.
"Bella, god, are you ok?"
"I'm fine Mike."
"I mean, you really hit those lockers hard."
"I'm fine Mike."
"Are you sure, because, man, you really slammed into them, I couldn't let you go walking around with a concussion."
"MIKE!" I growled at him as I slammed my locker shut. "I am FINE. I just want to go HOME!"
I saw him blink a couple times and swallow, and then I realised that I was inches from his face, screaming at him. I shook my head to clear it. "I… I'm sorry, it's just… I had a bad day, and I can't wait for it to be over so I really want to go."
Mike rubbed the back of his head and laughed nervously. "Understandable I guess… I mean, you know all the studying…"
"Yeah, studying." I said dismissively, throwing my bag over my shoulder.
"So are we on for the beach."
"Um, I dunno, I think Alice might want to do something at their place instead."
"Oh, that sounds cool." I glanced at him, irritated that he followed me and just wouldn't leave me alone. He was probably going to ask me out again. "So are you doing anything tonight?"
Predictable, I thought as the voice in my head sniggered.
"Yeah, I'm going to La Push."
"Oh. Well then."
Christ Mike, take a flipping hint.
I walked in uncharacteristically long strides towards the double doors, vaguely listening to Mike drivel on about something, making note of what hours I had to work next week when he mentioned them. I gave a slight, satisfied smirk at the sound the doors made when I punched them open with the flat of my hand. I headed out to the parking lot, scanning it, hoping for… well, Jake to be there.
The fog from this morning hadn't let up, but most of the parking lot was still visible as I scanned it over. I felt my heart skip a beat when I spotted a tall copper-skinned man, in cut-off jeans and a dark grey t-shirt standing in the parking lot.
I smiled and felt myself instantly calm down as I headed away from my truck towards him. But as I got closer, I could see that it wasn't Jake. He was too lanky, not muscled enough and his face gave away his young age in ways his body did not. You could tell he was a teen by that, and by the unsure, nervous way he stood. In fact, it was too nervous, like he was going to bolt at any moment. And his hair was too short, not chopped off like most of the rest of the pack, but ending at the bottom of his ear, whereas Jake's reached below his shoulders now. I walked up to him at any rate, ignoring the sneer on Mike's face as he saw the tall boy so obviously from La Push. Getting closer, I saw that I didn't actually know who this was, but I immediately felt sorry for him as I saw the expression on his face. His hazel eyes darted around the parking lot, as if looking for an out, and he was shaking, not like he was about to phase, but from pure nervousness.
"Um, hey," I said tentatively as we reached him.
"H-hey. Are you, uh… are you, um, Bella?"
I nodded.
"Uh, can I like, talk to you. I mean, without him." He pointed a shaking finger at Mike, who frowned in response.
"Mike, take a walk."
He turned to me surprised. "Do you even know this guy?"
"Mike, can you just go? Please?"
Mike looked between me and the boy, once, twice, and then finally shook is head and stomped off, huffing in disgust.
I turned back to the boy. "Hey, are you ok?" I asked softly. "Just calm down, it's going to be ok." It was a total lie. Inside I was shaking worse than he was, worrying that this was the messenger they sent to inform me of Jake's doom, but I knew that one of us had to act calm if he was going to get through this without phasing.
The boy shook his head slightly. It was almost a twitch.
"Hey, just sit down and tell me your name. I'm sorry, I don't recognise you. Come on." I led him with the gentlest of touches over to a nearby turtarrier. He sat down and swiped a hand through his hair.
"I'm Colin… I'm, uh, new at this. I uh… well, I actually just… you know, figured out how to turn back this morning. I'm sorry if I'm scaring you or something, I just don't know if I can hang on long enough. I mean, I hope I can, Jake will kill me if I hurt you. And I mean kill me."
"Jake sent you?" My heart sped up. He's ok…
"Yeah, him and Sam."
"Colin why did they send you? I heard Sam and Ve talking about you, they had to have known you aren't really cut out for this right now."
"You're telling me." He said with a nervous laugh. When he answered, he talked too fast, like it was the only thing keeping him together, which it very well may have been. "I mean, Brady's still stuck as… well, you know. Oh, God, I don't want to be here. I don't want to hurt anyone."
I put a hand on his shoulder carefully. "Colin, it's going to be ok."
"No, it's not, I'm holding on by a thread here, I shouldn't be here, it's too soon, I don't know what they were thinking, but I can't be here." He swallowed and started breathing heavily, looking like he was about to jump up and run off.
"You just have to stop thinking that way, Colin. You can't let it happened. You promised Jake."
He gritted his teeth, straining. "Yeah, yeah, I promised. I'll be ok. I'll be ok, right?"
I nodded. "So what do they want you to tell me?"
"Jake wanted to apologise for, uh, not calling you. Something came up."
"Something?" I asked, slightly irritated by the reasoning.
"Something big. That - that thing. The red headed leech. They caught scent of her. And others. A lot of them. Right on our border. They're coming."
I swallowed. "When?"
"I dunno. But it's soon. That's why they sent me. They can't spare someone who knows what they're doing. But I don't know if it was the best idea, because I'm barely keeping it together here. It almost happened when I smelled a squirrel and wanted to… you don't even want to know."
I hoped it was more towards the tearing apart end of things than anything else, but nodded anyways. "Ok, so what do they want me to do?"
"I don't really know. There was a fight. Jake wanted you to head to La Push, but Sam said you should stay with the leech-things we allied with, because the only person who could watch you in La Push would be, well, me. And, uh, Brady, but he can't really hang around. Like I said, he's… stuck. And they might call for us to help, so that could be pretty stupid."
"I can imagine."
"Normally, I would say you couldn't, but I guess you can."
I nodded again, thinking. So Jake was ok… but he was facing just what I didn't want him to this very moment. "So which one?"
"The leech-things I guess? I mean, Sam's alpha and all, and he said someone had to make it look like everything was normal, so you have to go with them to- waaaagh! Oh, holy fuck, what isthat?"
A hand flew up to cover his mouth and nose as I looked up to see Edward and Alice standing not far from us, looking Colin over cautiously. I cursed under my breath as I looked back over to see Colin sprawling on the pavement.
"Oh God… get it away. It's horrible! It's sweet…Christ it's too sweet, it making my stomach turn." He dry heaved as he pulled himself to his knees.
"What the hell, Alice?" I said through gritted teeth.
"We were just making sure he wasn't going to hurt anyone," said Edward, frowning at the boy coughing on the pavement. "I can see it's a good thing we're here. He's losing it."
I stood up. "Edward, he would have been fine if you two would just give him some goddamned space! He's new at this, get the fuck out of here! How is he supposed to take being around you?" I looked down to see him groaning.
Edward looked like he was going to stand his ground when Alice put his hand on his shoulder. "Come on, we need to give him some room. Edward, let him be. We'll wait by our car. Come on." With a light tug Edward turned around and followed Alice.
Colin gasped and clutched his chest, panting. "What… the hell… are they?"
"Vampires." I whispered, getting down on my knees to help him. "They're the ones I have to stay with."
"How can you stand them?!" he asked with wide eyes.
"I can't smell whatever it is you smell. Come on, I'll get you out of here." I only realised how ludicrous it was that I was helping a six foot two man up when I nearly fell over trying to get him his feet. It was an uneasy start, but we slowly made our way to my truck. "We have to stop at my house to get some stuff, but then I'll drive you part way down the high way, until I have to make the turn to get to the Cullens. Unless you got here by driving?"
He shook his head. "No, I, um, ran. I… uh, I can't actually drive yet."
I narrowed my eyes. "No one taught you? Not even Jake or Paul?" I said, naming the two big gear heads of the pack, not that they all didn't share some interest.
"Oh, they're going to teach me. You know, when it's time."
We got into the truck and I looked at him as I started up the engine. "What do you mean 'when it's time?'"
"Well, I'm only fourteen."
I looked at him gape-mouthed. He was only fourteen? Christ, he looked older than I was! "Really?" He nodded shakily. "Wow, Ve wasn't lying when she said you were young."
"N-nope."
"Come on then. I'll be able to get you half way." We drove out of the parking lot, Mike still giving us an odd look, and headed for my house. Colin stayed in the truck as I ran in to pack a bag. When I came out he was still nervously running a hand through his hair. I got back in and headed to the highway.
"So… how are things going?"
"Uh, you mean with me or with the… fight?"
They were fighting already. I gulped. "Both."
"Well, I'm hanging in here I guess. It's a lot better now that I'm not stuck. I h-hope Brady's ok."
"And the others?"
He shook his head. "We don't know what the hell's going on out there. Paul came back in screaming something about giant spiders, and when Jared went out to check, he could have sworn he saw Jigsaw, you know, the killer from that movie?"
"What? Spiders and movie killers?"
"We don't know what it is either. It has something to do with that smell. The smell that smells like nothing."
"Is that the weird thing Jake and Sam found."
"Y-yeah. No one knows what it is. And the fog… it gets foggier the closer we get to the leeches. Earlier this morning we actually saw it roll down into a valley, like it was snow rolling down a mountain. It's not natural. Whatever the red-haired thing is doing, it ain't good."
Weird smells, unnatural fogs, giant spiders? This was weird, even for Forks. I let Colin out as I got to the turn and wished him good luck as he headed into the bushes. Taking a deep breath and gripping the steering wheel, I turned down the road that eventually leads to the Cullens.
As I turned into their driveway, I saw that Alice and Edward chose not to wait around for too long, and made it here before I did. I stopped the engine and headed for the door, grabbing my stuff. Before I could reach the door, it swung open to reveal Esme.
"Alice said you were coming," she said, smiling. "I started something for dinner. I hope you like gnocchi."
"They're fine, but you didn't have to go to the trouble."
"It's no problem, Bella. Really."
"I… well, I kind of have to stay here tonight."
Esme frowned. "Alice didn't mention that. Is something wrong?"
"She wouldn't see why, considering who was in the car. But yeah, something's very wrong."
"Well come in, this fog must be a little cold for you."
I shivered just then, realising how cold I actually was. It was odd, this morning was warm, and now I needed a jacket. I followed Esme in and dropped my bag by the door.
"I need to talk to Carlisle. Or Alice. Maybe all of you. We have a problem."
"A problem with what?" said Alice as she hopped down the stairs to land next to me. "I hope you aren't changing your mind about staying overnight as soon as you got in the door."
"What happen to seeing the future?"
She rolled her eyes. "I don't do it all the time. So what's the matter?"
I took a deep breath. "Victoria's here. And she brought help."
I heard Esme gasp as Alice shook her head. "It can't be, I didn't see her."
"Didn't you just say you don't do it all the time? Besides, she's up to something. Colin, the guy I was talking with, he said they saw fog rolling in, and… something about giant spiders. Well, only Paul saw those."
"Giant spiders?" Alice raised an eyebrow. "That's… a little outlandish…"
"Says the vampire who can see the future."
"Fine. So what are we supposed to do?"
I bit my lip. "Right now? Nothing. Sam just said I should stay here. Jake wasn't happy about it, but he'll get over it. There was something about you guys not doing anything to keep up appearances. It might be weird to have to have La Push devoid of teenage boys and the Cullens gone."
Alice huffed. "Really, Bella, we have to do something."
"Alice, come on, they really feel this is their fight. They'll come if they need help. They sent me here, didn't they?"
"Alice," warned Esme. "They have a point. We'll tell Charlie she's sleeping over so that you can help her dress up for graduation tomorrow." Esme looked at me. I cringed at the thought of another Alice pampering session so soon, but nodded all the same.
"I'm offended that you're bribing me with that. But I'm accepting it all the same. I already have your outfit picked out."
I laughed despite myself. "Well, it's too bad we can't go out and get it."
"Oh, don't worry. It's here already. I picked it out a month ago."
The little one scares me Bells. Quick, we can still get to La Push.
You and me both, Jacob-conscience, but we've gone through it before, and we can go through it again.
I sat down in the rarely used kitchen and ate the pasta Esme and Rosalie prepared. I was always shocked at how well they cooked for not eating.
"So what do you want to do after I'm done? No offense, but I'm going to try to go to sleep early. I've had the most stressful day."
"I can imagine. How hard did you hit that locker?"
"Alice, it's not nice to remind her how clumsy she is."
"Look whose talking Rosalie."
I laughed as they mock-bickered with each other. After the past couple weeks, it was good that we were all friends again. After dinner Emmett came downstairs and royally beat my ass in some racing game I'd never heard of.
"Bella, you suck," he said as we put the controllers away.
"So do you according to some of my new, better friends that don't tease girls for being bad at video games," I said playfully, giving him a shove. The shove of course went nowhere as it felt like I was shoving a wall.
"Point taken," he said laughing.
I got up and looked behind us at Rosalie sitting on a chair reading a magazine, looking up from it as Emmett came up behind the chair Jasper and Alice were sitting on the couch doing some catalogue job of Alice's CDs, and I noticed the significant lack of one person.
"Guys, where's Edward?" I played with my hands nervously as I waited for the answer.
"He went hunting just before you got here. Didn't say when he would get back," said Jasper.
I nodded slowly, watching as Alice pointedly said nothing. That had to mean he was avoiding me. All for the best, I suppose.
We watched TV and I was instructed through the pallets of make-up Alice was considering trying on me tomorrow when Carlisle came home from the hospital. After being informed of the situation, he agreed with the choice. As expected, I began to crash from the knot that had been in my stomach all day around eight and went up to have a quick shower. I brought my stuff downstairs to the couch to see that Emmett had resumed his Xbox playing.
"Hey buddy, get out of here, I'm turning in. You have a console in your room."
"I'm working on an old favourite here. Besides, you aren't sleeping in the living room."
I quirked an eyebrow. "Where am I sleeping then?'
"Well Edward did go and get that… what?"
We both looked up to see Carlisle staring at Emmett shaking his head.
"Woops," said Emmett, rubbing his head.
I sighed and stared at my socks for awhile until I looked up at Carlisle. "What did Edward get?"
"It was for that sleepover that was supposed to have happened Bella. Rather innocuous really. You did need somewhere to sleep."
I sighed again. "Come on. Show me."
With a sigh Carlisle led me up stairs and to the door of Edward's room.
"It's really not that bad, Bella."
"Just open it."
The door swung open to reveal a giant four poster bed, metal roses winding their way up the posts.
"You have got to be kidding me."
Carlisle gave a slight chuckle. "We thought it was tasteful."
I choked as I exhaled. "Tasteful? Carlisle, that thing's huge!"
"It's really very nice."
"It must have cost a fortune though! I would have freaked out if I saw this that day!"
"Oh, calm down Bella, no you wouldn't have."
I jumped as Alice appeared behind me, Emmett in tow. "Alice, what have I said about sneaking up on me when I'm in a state of awe?"
"I forget. Anyways, you might as well sleep there. It's not like Edward uses it."
"That… that's not the point! It's his room. We aren't together anymore."
"Alice! Stop interfering!" I heard the shout come from downstairs.
Carlisle rubbed his brow and shook his head. "That's quite enough Rosalie."
Alice sniffed. "I'm not interfering anyways. Just pointing out an obvious. It is meant for you."
I gritted my teeth, pushing back the snide comment Jacob was making in my brain, to hiss out a snide comment of my own. "Well, why don't I just load it in my truck, take it to La Push and give it to Jacob then? I mean, if it's my bed, then I can do what I want with it right? And he's far better sized for this monstrosity than I am! I'm sure he can break down the roses to fix door dents or something!"
"Oh, snap!" Emmett held out his hand for a high five, only to receive glares from both Alice and I.
"Emmett, no one says that anymore. And if that's what you want Bella, than fine. But if Edward went to all the trouble of having it made special, don't you think you should at least use it?"
I nearly floated out of my socks. "He had it made special?!" As Alice nodded I looked back at it and groaned as many, many digits flew around in my head. "You can't guilt trip me. I'm not doing it."
"That's fine Bella, you don't have too," said Carlisle, glaring at Alice. Emmett, for his part just shrugged.
"Fine, but then Emmett's going to have to give up the living room."
"Hey, no way! We have, like, a dozen other places she can sleep."
"The living room is the only place with an acceptably large couch."
"Guys, I really only need a small couch," I interjected, to no avail.
"Have her sleep in your room!"
"What about Jasper? It's his room too!"
"Bullshit, that's your room and you know it, Jasper has his study."
"If you're so concerned about keeping the living room, then give her your room!"
"Guys, this is silly," I said, still not getting an answer.
"But what about Rosalie! I actually share my room!"
"Well you're the one so concerned about using the TV!"
"And you're the one who was so excited about a sleep over!"
"Well, she's a guest."
"GUYS!" I tried to ignore Carlisle's bemused look as they both finally looked at me. "Fine. I will sleep that behemoth of a bed. But only because it's the only way to make you both happy!"
Alice smiled and gave me a hug. "Good night Bella, I can tell you'll be asleep in no time. You must be very tired."
And with that she skipped down the stairs, to what new nefarious deeds, I did not know, but I had a feeling she planned this whole thing.
"You know Bella, you really don't have to sleep here, I can find something for you," Carlisle said helpfully.
I put up a hand to stop him. "No. She's relentless anyways. Next she'll be extolling the comforts of the thing and how good it will be for my back with all the slouching I've done today. I just want to go to sleep." I shoved them both towards the stairs, giving Emmett some extra force for laughing, not that it mattered, and went inside Edward's room and shut the door.
Exhaling, I looked at my surroundings and started chewing my lip.
Well, here we are. In the leech's room. Well, at least the bed looks comfy.
You are possibly the least helpful imaginary voice ever.
Naw, I'm tons helpful. My ideas are fun, Edward was all don't do this, don't do that, kissing Jacob is such a bad idea. What a downer.
And you're the life of the party?
You got it babe.
The Jacob in my head was possibly more arrogant than the real one. I wonder what that said about me.
I peeled back the covers and got into the bed as if I was lowering myself into a scalding hot bath. I had to admit though, once I got in, it was the most comfortable bed I had ever been in, not that I had been in many.
Pleasantly enough, I somehow managed to forget I was in Edward's room, and drifted off to sleep.
For the first night in a few nights, nightmares plagued my sleep. This time they were of Jacob and the pack strewn bloodily about a field, the Cullens being torn apart, and Victoria's horrible red eyes. I must have tossed and turned, because as I woke up, I found myself tangled in my sheets. I sighed and tried to right myself without taking the entire bed spread with me. It was then that I noticed the faint glow as the pale moonlight reflected off something - someone rather - sitting on the leather couch.
I rubbed my eyes, hoping I was imagining Edward's form on the sofa, but as I opened them I realised that I wasn't. He was beautiful as ever, almost painful to look at through my bleary eyes as he shone in the moonlight. I caught myself before I was transfixed and felt anger tickle its way up my spine as I wondered how long he had been sitting there.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice cracking as I became more awake.
"It's my room."
Fine. I couldn't argue with that. "Alright, I'll go see if Emmett's done with the living room."
I got up, grabbing a pillow and headed for the door. I didn't make it three steps when he was in front of me. "Wait, Bella, don't go."
I tried to step past him, but he held me firm. "Edward let me go."
"I just… wanted to talk."
"Then you should have waited for me to get up."
"I was."
I glared up at him. "You should have done it some place else."
"You never used to mind."
I couldn't believe him. How could he just think everything would be the same? "Edward I'm not going to let you watch me sleep. I'm not going to let you hold me. If we aren't together anymore, it isn't right."
His glaze shifted downwards. "I don't know how you can move on so quickly. One day we're in love and the next you're running off to… them."
I rolled my eyes. "There was trouble long before then."
"It's because I wouldn't let you see him, isn't it?"
I gulped and avoided his eye contact. "Partly."
He let go of me and paced the room, pinching his brow. "Bella, how was it that he could be so connected to you and not… want to be with you. I saw how the mutt looked at you, it didn't matter if he was a werewolf or not, it wasn't proper for you to be alone with him."
"It's up to me to make that call, not you!" I said, stabbing a finger at his chest.
"Bella…"
I walked around him and headed for the door. "He was my best friend."
"Was?" I swung around as he said that and knew I had slipped. "And what is he now?"
Say it! My head screamed, me and Jacob in unison. Just say it and be done with it!
I took a breath, determined to let him know once and for all, but when I looked up into his eyes, they looked so desolate, so bare of hope, that I couldn't bare to throw the truth in his face like this.
Instead I said, "None of your damn business!" and walked out the door, slamming it on my way.
I stormed down the two flights back to the living room to see Emmett still playing his racing game.
"Hey Bella."
"You anywhere close to being done?" I said, seething. I don't know what was with me lately, but I got angrily so easily.
"Well I got half of the stuff unlocked, why?"
I stared at him a moment as he turned to face me, before huffing out "You're such an asshole," and heading back up stairs.
I heard a "Hey, what did I do?" as I pounded up the stairs and down the hall.
I knocked on Rosalie's door. She opened it, drying her hair.
"Hi," she said, sounding rather perplexed to see me.
"Hi. Your husband's an asshole. Can I borrow your couch?"
"Um… sure?" I walked past her and headed towards the love seat. "I have ask though, why my couch?"
"Because Emmett won't give up the living room and I'm certain Edward won't come in here."
She shook her head softly. "Edward came home."
"Yes," I said through gritted teeth. "And decided to come watch me sleep. And then ask personal questions about Jacob."
She laughed. "So you finally told him about…" She slowed to a stop as I began shaking my head. Her eyes widened and she started singing "London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down, sure you can go use the couch, just please don't hold out too long." As she sang out the last two slightly revised lines she pushed me towards the couch and kept on humming as she turned off the lights and went back to combing her hair. I suppose now that I had gone to her for help she was going to play watch guard, but at this point it didn't matter to me all that much so long as I got to go back to sleep.
"Stop fidgeting!"
I shot Alice a glare as I straightened the tight dress again. The red number she put me in was far too short for my tastes, even though the blue graduation gown covered it. We stood in the alphabetical line for the ceremony and I was shocked as to how short it was. Alice had no problem seeing me fidget or shouting to me at all despite the gaps in our names. I could hear Principal Greene talking on stage while we waited behind it for our names to begin.
"Can you believe this?" asked Jessica, beaming. How I wished I could be that excited. I was too nervous worrying about how I was probably going to make a full of myself walking up the stage. The fact that we were waiting in the soft grass on the field wasn't helping anything. Why did I let Alice put me in heels?
"Yes," I finally got out. "I can. I just want this to be over."
"Somewhere to be Bella?" said Lauren sneering at me.
"Will you stop it?" I heard Mike whisper to her.
"Bella," Jessica said from beside me, drawing my attention away from the front of the line. "I just want you to know that I'm so glad you came to Forks. I know we haven't always been the best of friends but my last year here was so special."
"Uh… thanks Jess." I never really got the whole getting sentimental/it's the end of an era thing. Sure, I'll miss people, but I don't really see the point of trying to make everything better. Lauren's never going to like me. Jessica's bubbly and I'm not. I'm always going to be remembered as Edward's girlfriend. I suppose it was too bad in some cases, but oh well.
"Benjamin Cheney."
I watched as the line started to move as names were called. Jessica gave a slight squeal and said "This is it!" I moved forward, trying not to stick my heel in a hole.
"Tyler Crowley… Alice Cullen."
I laughed as she looked back and gave me a wave before dancing around the corner. How could someone do this so many times and still be excited about it?
"Edward Cullen." I saw the copper head walk around the stage and the sting finally started to set it. This year was huge. I had my first real crush, my first real boyfriend… my second real boyfriend, I guess. First kisses, new friends, and a life choice that turned out not to suck entirely (and one that almost did) swam through my head as I zoned out for awhile. I was brought back by Principal Greene saying "Lauren Mallory," and watched as what was possibly the most useless rivalry I ever had turn the corner like it was gone. Which wasn't true in the slightest, I'd probably be getting sneers all through the party from her, but for a split second it was like the divide between now and the rest of my life was that corner and having to turn it, having to leave the safety of high school (as ludicrous as that is when you go to high school with vampires), and face the world, where I knew the dangers of life existed, possibly better than just about everyone else here, was a turning point that washed away everything in my past. I suddenly became nervous for more reasons than falling over.
"Michael Newton."
And exactly how much I haven't been paying attention to everything because of Edward started to get to me. I mean, I got to go to Italy. Italy! Anyone else would have been ecstatic. But no, I had to go to save his life. And did I stay even a day to enjoy an entire new continent? Nope, it was back to Forks right away. What the hell was wrong with me? I mean, sure it wasn't the best time for a vacation, but really, I treated flying half way across the world as entirely normal because it was for Edward. How jaded is that? How did I get that jaded in the first place? Well, enough of that shit.
"Jessica Stanley."
"Jessica!" I hissed to her, stopping her just before she turned the corner ahead of me. "I, uh… I'm really glad I came here and got to meet all of you guys too. I mean it." Please don't think I'm too lame. Please don't think I'm too lame. Pleasedon'tthinkI'mtoolame…
She smiled back at me and grasped my hand. "No problem Bella." And then she turned the corner and I was left with the prospect of having to go out there next. Holy Crow Bella, calm down, you've faced down vampires and werewolves, you can walk across a silly stage and get your diploma.
I waited as Jessica walked across stage for what seemed like a small eternity, until finally my name was called.
"Isabella Swan."
I stepped forward uneasily and managed to stick my heel right in a divot. I teetered for a moment, but managed to catch myself. I straightened my gown, pulled my dress down for the fiftieth time, and walked around the corner. Without focusing on anything else, I was determined to get on stage without making a fool of myself. One step, two steps, last step, don't wobble, don't let the stupid cap thing fall off (God I hope I had enough pins in it). Right, walk on stage, towards the Principal, don't look at the audience, don't look at the audience…
Oh crap, I looked.
Even for the graduating class being so small, the gathering of parents and friends at that moment seemed huge. I heard a cheer and looked over to see my father clapping, wearing a suit that probably wouldn't have seen the light of day for a decade if it hadn't had been for Harry's funeral. A holler came up next and with a quick scan of the crowd I saw Emmett and Rosalie sitting next to each other. The noise came from Emmett and I couldn't help but laugh as he pumped his arm in the air. Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme sat behind them, clapping politely. My throat went dry and I noticed two people missing. The first, of course was Jake. I hadn't expected him to make it after what Colin told me, but a girl can still hope. The second, and surprisingly more painful absentee was my mother. I knew Renee wanted to be here so much and the fact that she wasn't brought a tear to my eye.
I finished the short walk to Principal Greene, shook his hand, took my diploma and, surprisingly, made it to my seat without falling. I zoned in an out of the rest of the ceremony, Jacob's absence reminding me of the danger he's in right now all over again. I almost forgot to turn my cap string when the time came. When it was all over, the class was graduating each other by the stage. I was glad, I really was, but my mind was entirely occupied.
"Bella!" My dad came to pull me away from Eric.
"Yeah Dad?"
"I know you have your party to go to, but how's about I take you to dinner? Just you and me, like old times."
I smiled. I knew I was going to have to go through an 'I can't believe how fast you grew up!' speech, but it was worth it. "Sure Dad. Alice, I'll be by later." She nodded as I waved, and Charlie and I headed for the parking lot.