The Face Inside
As in "The face is inside is right beneath my skin" but I've forgotten the name of the song. Heigh ho.
Word Count: 1785
Rating: NC 17, just to be on the safe side for nearly sex.
Summary: Barker's having trouble with Sweeney and vice versa and they're both having trouble with Lovett.
Chapter 16; The Face Inside
Todd:
He had hated being Barker. He looked back on it now as a role he had played that had suited him badly. The softness, the warmness, the weakness. He tried to tell himself it was regret for what had passed that wrenched his gut at the recollection - and perhaps it was - regret at all he could have had, that he had been too much of a gentleman to take.
A gentleman. His lips curled in disgust at the idea, as he set to work on just such a customer. She moved about somewhere behind him, pretending to be tidying or something, though he knew that she was watching him. He tried not to care, to be less aware of her - but he couldn't.
He never had been able to, he recalled. She had ruined everything, he boiled inside at the thought, with her continual presence in the shadows of his married life. So what if he had chosen to spend time in her shop? That was what Barker had told himself; a man had to eat and her pies were delicious. To have gone elsewhere would have made it look like he was avoiding her and what reason would he have had to do that?
And could he help it if she was then so friendly? It wasn't wrong to enjoy the company of a woman who wasn't your wife.
And yet, at night, the defensive daytime thoughts would curl up beneath a truth he felt was destroying him; he liked her company even better than his wife's. Not just her smiles, her humour, her kindness, but the very fire of her that made him look at her too closely; watching her working, her strong, pretty hands working pastry, the way her teeth and eyes flashed when she smiled. That glint in her eye that he could not quite place and the dark beauty of her dress, exposing more flesh than his wife would ever dare.
It was unseemly, he knew, improper, the way she behaved. But at night this fact, those words, left him aching with desire instead of the revulsion he knew he ought to feel. He wanted her. Wanted her in a way, with a passion that terrified him, yet left him shaking in the dark, afraid he would wake from his heated dreams, crying out her name with Lucy in the bed beside him.
He had begun to feel like he was breaking in two with it; the soft, lazy part of him so happy with his life with Lucy that he wanted nothing to change it, and the dark, glowering stranger fighting up through him - whispering vile lusts into his ear, hammering him on the inside with his fists, begging to be let out to take revenge on the bitch who had created him. It frightened Barker to feel him there, to think of him, this internal fiend who could really, surely be no true part of him? Yet every day it seemed, found him struggling to control it, sometimes wondering why he bothered to do so -
It was her. He realised soon enough that he was fighting it to protect her. The fiend would never forgive her for its monstrous birth. It meant to hurt her, to punish her in ways he hardly knew existed. The understanding that even he, Barker, cared for her only served to make the knocking on the door to his self louder and more painful.
Still, he went to her every day, bounding through the door like a happy puppy, secure in the warmth of her smiles, cheerily saying hello, enjoying the apparent pleasure with which she always received him.
"Rotten out there today it is Mrs Lovett"
"You're rotten out there today Mr Barker" she would reply, not missing a beat, in what had become a pattern for them - "Have yourself a pie, they're nice and hot"
"You're nice and hot" he replied, automatically, blushing bright pink as soon as the words were out - "Oh goodness me - I mean - that is to say - I didn't mean -" he stammered.
"Hush there you" she smiled, blushing a little herself, beautifully "Sit yourself down then".
Lucy was out so often that much of his day, between customers, was spent down here, watching her at work and exchanging light banter, while she rebuked him gently for eating her out of house and home.
"Have to get up early just to make a special batch of pies for you, you know" she would tease, and he would love it.
"You should be careful" she scolded affectionately, "Start to look like a pie yourself you will"
She would always "forget" to charge him and he would always "accidentally" leave the money on the table, hoping it wouldn't offend her. it didn't.
"Mrs Lovett -" he had said one afternoon, "Do you know, I spend so much time watching you at work I feel quite bad about it, can I make it up to you by having you join me for the afternoon for a change?"
It was a few days after he had come so perilously close to giving into his need for her. It still hurt him with embarrassment to think how he had erred and still hurt the beast inside him to think how he had ended it. They had been a little shyer with each other these last few days, both burnt and still smoking from the memory of that kiss. Poor Barker had struggled with restraining the demon ever since, using all of his strength to do so, yet desperately trying to make things right with her again, when he regarded her friendship so highly. He had been afraid she would find his suggestion too bold, improper even. he should have known her better, even then, he thought now, with a wry smile - aware of her now, still half watching him at work - a regular customer, it was, shaved less closely than the usual.
It had been almost too pleasant having her there as he worked, watching him with quick, bright eyes. Lucy had never been interested, always growing quickly bored and finding someone to call on instead. But she had sat, smiling, perched on the arm of the chair in the corner, looking for all the world as though his work fascinated her. It felt comfortable, so much so as to, ironically, make him feel uncomfortable. He could feel her eyes, dark and bruising upon him, almost smell her, half feel his hands against her soft skin, slipping beneath her clothes, touching her everywhere - feeling the monster screaming to shed her blood, to take her and rape her as he wanted to, whether she liked it or not, to hurt her, use her, have his fill of her and discard her as she deserved. he heard it in his head, roaring at him to put himself out of his misery, satisfy the demands of his aching cock, shower this pink and gold room with her blood, wash his hands in its warmth, drown in her screams, hurt her, hurt her, hurt her -
His hands began to shake so badly he finished the customer of hurriedly, wanting to clutch at his head and tear the demon out. The man had nodded at him as he went out -
"Good day Mr Barker - Mrs Barker". he remembered how both she and Barker had behaved like goldfish as the man walked out, looking at each other as the door clicked shut, raising their eyebrows at each other, they had shaken their heads and grinned like children, laughing gently. She had risen, reluctantly, smiling softly, taking his hands in hers quite comfortable, if a little shyly -
"It's been a lovely afternoon, that it has, thank you Mr Barker"
He felt his throat catch at her touch, his body melt at the loveliness of her smile, the powerful wave of lust rise blackly within him to feel her so close.
"No - thank you" he grinned down at her gently - "Mrs Barker". There was a strained edge to his smile, that he feared would make it plain to her how great a part of him wished that it were true. She looked down, fiddling a strand of her errant, beautiful hair in her fingers, but she didn't move away. The roaring was back in his ears, a terrible tide that threatened to sweep him away, she was so close, so warm, her breath almost on his neck. She would offer no resistance, it could be seconds and she would be moaning beneath his touch, freeing him from himself for good as he pushed her to the floor and pounded the last remnants of Barker hotly into her perfect body. He leaned into her, making a strangled sound, the longing too much to bear, his lips almost on hers when he whispered -
"Get out"
She had looked at him, concerned at the pained, venomous edge to his voice. It had hardly been his voice at all. He had turned from her savagely, almost pushing her;
"Get out!" he had roared, visibly shaking he knew with the force of his need for her to stay, aching all over from his grappling with the beast who wanted her, for whom she was everything.
She had gone, leaving him relieved, furious, rock hard with lust and sobbing, not relieved at all. It had been the last time Barker had ever seen her.
No, he thought now, he could not forgive Barker for doing that to himself. He would obliterate everything that tied him to the past, so that it would never have existed. he looked over at her now and half smiled. He had come so far, barker had lost the battle and now he could claim her as his prize. It was good now, almost comfortable. His customer was done and was heading out the door -
"Good day Mr Todd" he said, turning then to nod at her - "Mrs Todd" - and leaving. She looked at him, smiling, mischief flashing in her eyes.
"Well!" she breathed "That was a blast from the past!"
"Indeed" his lips curled in an approximation of a smile as he went to her freely, now, drinking her down hungrily, letting the beast loose on her to satisfy the cravings that fuelled it's dark, violent and heavenly existence. The room was no longer pink and gold but he painted it with her blood all the same, alive as Barker had never been as he broke on the edge of her screams.
Word Count: 1785
Rating: NC 17, just to be on the safe side for nearly sex.
Summary: Barker's having trouble with Sweeney and vice versa and they're both having trouble with Lovett.
Chapter 16; The Face Inside
Todd:
He had hated being Barker. He looked back on it now as a role he had played that had suited him badly. The softness, the warmness, the weakness. He tried to tell himself it was regret for what had passed that wrenched his gut at the recollection - and perhaps it was - regret at all he could have had, that he had been too much of a gentleman to take.
A gentleman. His lips curled in disgust at the idea, as he set to work on just such a customer. She moved about somewhere behind him, pretending to be tidying or something, though he knew that she was watching him. He tried not to care, to be less aware of her - but he couldn't.
He never had been able to, he recalled. She had ruined everything, he boiled inside at the thought, with her continual presence in the shadows of his married life. So what if he had chosen to spend time in her shop? That was what Barker had told himself; a man had to eat and her pies were delicious. To have gone elsewhere would have made it look like he was avoiding her and what reason would he have had to do that?
And could he help it if she was then so friendly? It wasn't wrong to enjoy the company of a woman who wasn't your wife.
And yet, at night, the defensive daytime thoughts would curl up beneath a truth he felt was destroying him; he liked her company even better than his wife's. Not just her smiles, her humour, her kindness, but the very fire of her that made him look at her too closely; watching her working, her strong, pretty hands working pastry, the way her teeth and eyes flashed when she smiled. That glint in her eye that he could not quite place and the dark beauty of her dress, exposing more flesh than his wife would ever dare.
It was unseemly, he knew, improper, the way she behaved. But at night this fact, those words, left him aching with desire instead of the revulsion he knew he ought to feel. He wanted her. Wanted her in a way, with a passion that terrified him, yet left him shaking in the dark, afraid he would wake from his heated dreams, crying out her name with Lucy in the bed beside him.
He had begun to feel like he was breaking in two with it; the soft, lazy part of him so happy with his life with Lucy that he wanted nothing to change it, and the dark, glowering stranger fighting up through him - whispering vile lusts into his ear, hammering him on the inside with his fists, begging to be let out to take revenge on the bitch who had created him. It frightened Barker to feel him there, to think of him, this internal fiend who could really, surely be no true part of him? Yet every day it seemed, found him struggling to control it, sometimes wondering why he bothered to do so -
It was her. He realised soon enough that he was fighting it to protect her. The fiend would never forgive her for its monstrous birth. It meant to hurt her, to punish her in ways he hardly knew existed. The understanding that even he, Barker, cared for her only served to make the knocking on the door to his self louder and more painful.
Still, he went to her every day, bounding through the door like a happy puppy, secure in the warmth of her smiles, cheerily saying hello, enjoying the apparent pleasure with which she always received him.
"Rotten out there today it is Mrs Lovett"
"You're rotten out there today Mr Barker" she would reply, not missing a beat, in what had become a pattern for them - "Have yourself a pie, they're nice and hot"
"You're nice and hot" he replied, automatically, blushing bright pink as soon as the words were out - "Oh goodness me - I mean - that is to say - I didn't mean -" he stammered.
"Hush there you" she smiled, blushing a little herself, beautifully "Sit yourself down then".
Lucy was out so often that much of his day, between customers, was spent down here, watching her at work and exchanging light banter, while she rebuked him gently for eating her out of house and home.
"Have to get up early just to make a special batch of pies for you, you know" she would tease, and he would love it.
"You should be careful" she scolded affectionately, "Start to look like a pie yourself you will"
She would always "forget" to charge him and he would always "accidentally" leave the money on the table, hoping it wouldn't offend her. it didn't.
"Mrs Lovett -" he had said one afternoon, "Do you know, I spend so much time watching you at work I feel quite bad about it, can I make it up to you by having you join me for the afternoon for a change?"
It was a few days after he had come so perilously close to giving into his need for her. It still hurt him with embarrassment to think how he had erred and still hurt the beast inside him to think how he had ended it. They had been a little shyer with each other these last few days, both burnt and still smoking from the memory of that kiss. Poor Barker had struggled with restraining the demon ever since, using all of his strength to do so, yet desperately trying to make things right with her again, when he regarded her friendship so highly. He had been afraid she would find his suggestion too bold, improper even. he should have known her better, even then, he thought now, with a wry smile - aware of her now, still half watching him at work - a regular customer, it was, shaved less closely than the usual.
It had been almost too pleasant having her there as he worked, watching him with quick, bright eyes. Lucy had never been interested, always growing quickly bored and finding someone to call on instead. But she had sat, smiling, perched on the arm of the chair in the corner, looking for all the world as though his work fascinated her. It felt comfortable, so much so as to, ironically, make him feel uncomfortable. He could feel her eyes, dark and bruising upon him, almost smell her, half feel his hands against her soft skin, slipping beneath her clothes, touching her everywhere - feeling the monster screaming to shed her blood, to take her and rape her as he wanted to, whether she liked it or not, to hurt her, use her, have his fill of her and discard her as she deserved. he heard it in his head, roaring at him to put himself out of his misery, satisfy the demands of his aching cock, shower this pink and gold room with her blood, wash his hands in its warmth, drown in her screams, hurt her, hurt her, hurt her -
His hands began to shake so badly he finished the customer of hurriedly, wanting to clutch at his head and tear the demon out. The man had nodded at him as he went out -
"Good day Mr Barker - Mrs Barker". he remembered how both she and Barker had behaved like goldfish as the man walked out, looking at each other as the door clicked shut, raising their eyebrows at each other, they had shaken their heads and grinned like children, laughing gently. She had risen, reluctantly, smiling softly, taking his hands in hers quite comfortable, if a little shyly -
"It's been a lovely afternoon, that it has, thank you Mr Barker"
He felt his throat catch at her touch, his body melt at the loveliness of her smile, the powerful wave of lust rise blackly within him to feel her so close.
"No - thank you" he grinned down at her gently - "Mrs Barker". There was a strained edge to his smile, that he feared would make it plain to her how great a part of him wished that it were true. She looked down, fiddling a strand of her errant, beautiful hair in her fingers, but she didn't move away. The roaring was back in his ears, a terrible tide that threatened to sweep him away, she was so close, so warm, her breath almost on his neck. She would offer no resistance, it could be seconds and she would be moaning beneath his touch, freeing him from himself for good as he pushed her to the floor and pounded the last remnants of Barker hotly into her perfect body. He leaned into her, making a strangled sound, the longing too much to bear, his lips almost on hers when he whispered -
"Get out"
She had looked at him, concerned at the pained, venomous edge to his voice. It had hardly been his voice at all. He had turned from her savagely, almost pushing her;
"Get out!" he had roared, visibly shaking he knew with the force of his need for her to stay, aching all over from his grappling with the beast who wanted her, for whom she was everything.
She had gone, leaving him relieved, furious, rock hard with lust and sobbing, not relieved at all. It had been the last time Barker had ever seen her.
No, he thought now, he could not forgive Barker for doing that to himself. He would obliterate everything that tied him to the past, so that it would never have existed. he looked over at her now and half smiled. He had come so far, barker had lost the battle and now he could claim her as his prize. It was good now, almost comfortable. His customer was done and was heading out the door -
"Good day Mr Todd" he said, turning then to nod at her - "Mrs Todd" - and leaving. She looked at him, smiling, mischief flashing in her eyes.
"Well!" she breathed "That was a blast from the past!"
"Indeed" his lips curled in an approximation of a smile as he went to her freely, now, drinking her down hungrily, letting the beast loose on her to satisfy the cravings that fuelled it's dark, violent and heavenly existence. The room was no longer pink and gold but he painted it with her blood all the same, alive as Barker had never been as he broke on the edge of her screams.