There's a reason I'm not God.
It's all over.
I don't feel like pining over the details of it at the moment, though perhaps later I will write more.
But let me just say one thing:
Even though jury duty was an amazing experience and I was glad and honored to be a part of it...
...it's also quite possibly one of the hardest, worst jobs I could ever imagine.
The reality of it all hit today at lunch when we took a two hour break before the jury began to discuss and make a decision. I felt sick to my stomach, and though I realized it before, I reminded myself that a man's life is in my hands, and an entire family's thoughts, emotions, hurt, and lives are all in my hands as well.
I felt better as we as the jury discussed and went around the table sharing thoughts, notes, experiences, and discussing proof beyond a reasonable doubt, having to ignore what our gut instincts may have said about the situation, and ignoring what we may feel about the integrity, hardships, situations of those we were judging for. We realized that no one would make out happy in the end, and just how hard of a job this was. We came to a decision of guilty of CSC 1st Degree on only one of three accounts [not guilty on the others]. That significantly cut the sentence down.
Back into the courtroom, the jury decision was read. I saw many emotions from the courtroom though nothing dramatic. And I don't know if I should admit, but as the judge said our verdict made it so he had to be put in custody, my heart started racing. The officer grabbed the defendant and escorted him out and my eyes welled up. I just felt like losing it and crying right there, guilty or not. It's the hardest thing you can ever watch, to see someone be put away, even if you hate their crime. Knowing their life will forever be changed, even if they are the one who made the mistake. Knowing they have kids, their family falls apart, etc. It's SO hard.
I am so glad I don't have to be the Ultimate Judge in life. That would be a horrible position to be in. I don't even know who came up with allowing me an opportunity to be the judge of someone's life in this case, but it's so ridiculously emotional to watch, and the judge even spoke with us after and said it's a VERY sad thing to see someone convicted. He's an amazing judge.
It really makes me just think about life. Makes it real. So many things we never experience are so real.