Because this is a love letter
It's about the way the night smells, it's about moments of surprising clarity, but really it's about remembering the odd dark nights that Kyle and I used to drive around listening to Bauhaus, drinking Red Bull, and eating too much candy. It's cause I feel this youth energy coming back, and it's not something i lose often, but when the world is agreeable to it on a night like tonight, I'm completely taken over by the feeling of reckless control.
It's contradictory by nature.
It's a feeling of knowing enough, but knowing that you don't know enough to be jaded and deadened yet. It's high-prime youth, not sixteen and hormonal, but right now.
And from the way my car smells to the taste of gummy bears and Red Bull, to the sounds of alienating music in an alien night, I miss my screaming youth buddy. Though, it's not about Kyle, who is also contradictory and wound-up by nature. It's about this night and will there be more?
Sometimes the worst thing is knowing the experience you're having is wonderful and rare because while it's happening you spend it with half of your brain in a third person mode, recording and marking it for future reference. The temperature, the taste, the smell, the feeling is all there, ready to break out at the smallest replication of any of those factors.
I guess it's really about trying to as aware of the significance of the experiences while they're happening. No regrets.
It's contradictory by nature.
It's a feeling of knowing enough, but knowing that you don't know enough to be jaded and deadened yet. It's high-prime youth, not sixteen and hormonal, but right now.
And from the way my car smells to the taste of gummy bears and Red Bull, to the sounds of alienating music in an alien night, I miss my screaming youth buddy. Though, it's not about Kyle, who is also contradictory and wound-up by nature. It's about this night and will there be more?
Sometimes the worst thing is knowing the experience you're having is wonderful and rare because while it's happening you spend it with half of your brain in a third person mode, recording and marking it for future reference. The temperature, the taste, the smell, the feeling is all there, ready to break out at the smallest replication of any of those factors.
I guess it's really about trying to as aware of the significance of the experiences while they're happening. No regrets.