there was a girl who could only live on lemonade
pop (orange for the rest of her life)
skins series two "tony" coda (implied tony/effy, mentions of tony/michelle, tony/maxxie, and tony/sid)
inspired by this unseen skins video
Effy and Tony, they're nothing if they're normal.
Effy finds it crumpled in his wastebasket while Tony's away visiting the college. The writing is almost a scrawl, awkward and craggy and nothing like Tony's neat, elegant cursive.
He had asked her questions, loads of questions-- what do I like to eat, what's my favourite television program, what music do I listen to-- but would never tell her why. It’s a list, like Tony thought if he could define himself, relearn the things he did, that would make him-like he was before.
Effy knows it doesn’t work like that. She knows that all these incidental, stupid things don’t even make up half of who the Tony really is. Because the real Tony, he’s fire and energy and grinning and saying just the right thing to make you forgive him or piss you off. But Effy doesn’t know how to get the real Tony back.
It feels a little dirty, going through someone’s trash, reading their secrets when they can’t stop you. Which is mostly why she does it.
Another reason why is this: she misses Tony, the real Tony, and even if she knows it won’t work, she feels like if she remembers him hard enough, it’ll make him come back to--not normal, cause Effy and Tony, they’re nothing if they’re normal. Maybe just by wishing, thinking about him hard enough, she can bring him back.
Things that Tony hates:
- A mess, the sloppy way Sid's shirts hang over his bony shoulders, how his own hair gets mussed when someone hits him.
- Jal and her sharp eyes, her lips in a tight line, like the only one who can see right through everything, see just how small he really is.
- The word "No," he doesn't give a fuck in what context. No is losing control, is things going against plans.
- Being alone. He rarely is, if he hasn't Michelle, Sid, or Effy, there's always Chris or Maxxie and Anwar or a girl. Anyone really, as long as they can entertain him.
- Himself, those times when he's driving someone away can feel himself doing it, but can't stop. When he cries.
-Josh. Swear to God if he ever sees that fucker again, Tony'll-
The things he did to Effy, tried to make Tony do to Effy. It's not just that Tony wants to hurt him, to kill him, even though he does. It's that Josh deserves to die. His fucking hoodies and his charming smile, he's nothing like Tony.
He's too much like Tony.
Things that Tony likes:
- Smoking, the nicotine buzz and the sexy, cinematic way smoke floats from his mouth. How fucking good his lips look wrapped around a cigarette (and drugsdrugsdrugs.)
- Michelle, the way she makes the same sound when she's coming and crying, her posh accent and beautiful eyes. Her nipples and how desperately in love with him she is.
- Maxxie's coy innocence. Tony knows it's contrived, can see it in the way Maxxie rolls his hips as he dances, the way he followed Tony's fingers with his mouth as Tony snagged that cigarette. Maxxie will let Tony have him, will take Tony even, if Tony wants him to. And he just might.
- Sid, how utterly he trusts Tony, not matter what. And those big fat puppy dog eyes that make him feel like he can do anything, like he's the biggest man alive. His fucking stupid hat and the way he looks at Tony's girlfriend, paralyzed by love on both ends.
- Winning, that rush of triumph when he pulls one of over, knowing he's right and that he can keep the whole fucking world if he wants. Usually he does.
- Similar to winning in many ways, sex. Tony's good at it-really honestly exceptional at whatever he tries, despite what Maxxie thinks.
- Fucking his Dad around, being polite and wide-eyed and innocent about his Dad's missing whiskey or car keys or cash, a sweet smile and close-mouthed chewing at the table, until. Dad's not looking but Effy is and he crosses his eyes at her across the table and her eyes are shining at him, even though she doesn't smile. She sticks out her tongue, chicken chewed into a disgusting paste covering it, but by the time Dad looks up from his tirade, they're both staring intently at their plates and chewing mutely.
Things that Tony loves:
Michelle
Sid
Himself
Effy
On an impulse, she keeps the paper. Hides it in her jewelry box, stuffed under her bangles, just in case-whatever. She needs it or Tony does or something.
And then Tony comes home.
He's back from the visit, yeah, but he really comes home, smirking and joking and little bit angry, and christ, Effy missed him.
And when he goes to bed that night, smiling and pressing a kiss to the top of her head, tight hug and, "don't stay out to late tonight," she doesn't go out at all. She lies in her bed and reads it over and over again. It’s nothing she didn’t know already, but Effy likes the proof.
skins series two "tony" coda (implied tony/effy, mentions of tony/michelle, tony/maxxie, and tony/sid)
inspired by this unseen skins video
Effy and Tony, they're nothing if they're normal.
Effy finds it crumpled in his wastebasket while Tony's away visiting the college. The writing is almost a scrawl, awkward and craggy and nothing like Tony's neat, elegant cursive.
He had asked her questions, loads of questions-- what do I like to eat, what's my favourite television program, what music do I listen to-- but would never tell her why. It’s a list, like Tony thought if he could define himself, relearn the things he did, that would make him-like he was before.
Effy knows it doesn’t work like that. She knows that all these incidental, stupid things don’t even make up half of who the Tony really is. Because the real Tony, he’s fire and energy and grinning and saying just the right thing to make you forgive him or piss you off. But Effy doesn’t know how to get the real Tony back.
It feels a little dirty, going through someone’s trash, reading their secrets when they can’t stop you. Which is mostly why she does it.
Another reason why is this: she misses Tony, the real Tony, and even if she knows it won’t work, she feels like if she remembers him hard enough, it’ll make him come back to--not normal, cause Effy and Tony, they’re nothing if they’re normal. Maybe just by wishing, thinking about him hard enough, she can bring him back.
Things that Tony hates:
- A mess, the sloppy way Sid's shirts hang over his bony shoulders, how his own hair gets mussed when someone hits him.
- Jal and her sharp eyes, her lips in a tight line, like the only one who can see right through everything, see just how small he really is.
- The word "No," he doesn't give a fuck in what context. No is losing control, is things going against plans.
- Being alone. He rarely is, if he hasn't Michelle, Sid, or Effy, there's always Chris or Maxxie and Anwar or a girl. Anyone really, as long as they can entertain him.
- Himself, those times when he's driving someone away can feel himself doing it, but can't stop. When he cries.
-Josh. Swear to God if he ever sees that fucker again, Tony'll-
The things he did to Effy, tried to make Tony do to Effy. It's not just that Tony wants to hurt him, to kill him, even though he does. It's that Josh deserves to die. His fucking hoodies and his charming smile, he's nothing like Tony.
He's too much like Tony.
Things that Tony likes:
- Smoking, the nicotine buzz and the sexy, cinematic way smoke floats from his mouth. How fucking good his lips look wrapped around a cigarette (and drugsdrugsdrugs.)
- Michelle, the way she makes the same sound when she's coming and crying, her posh accent and beautiful eyes. Her nipples and how desperately in love with him she is.
- Maxxie's coy innocence. Tony knows it's contrived, can see it in the way Maxxie rolls his hips as he dances, the way he followed Tony's fingers with his mouth as Tony snagged that cigarette. Maxxie will let Tony have him, will take Tony even, if Tony wants him to. And he just might.
- Sid, how utterly he trusts Tony, not matter what. And those big fat puppy dog eyes that make him feel like he can do anything, like he's the biggest man alive. His fucking stupid hat and the way he looks at Tony's girlfriend, paralyzed by love on both ends.
- Winning, that rush of triumph when he pulls one of over, knowing he's right and that he can keep the whole fucking world if he wants. Usually he does.
- Similar to winning in many ways, sex. Tony's good at it-really honestly exceptional at whatever he tries, despite what Maxxie thinks.
- Fucking his Dad around, being polite and wide-eyed and innocent about his Dad's missing whiskey or car keys or cash, a sweet smile and close-mouthed chewing at the table, until. Dad's not looking but Effy is and he crosses his eyes at her across the table and her eyes are shining at him, even though she doesn't smile. She sticks out her tongue, chicken chewed into a disgusting paste covering it, but by the time Dad looks up from his tirade, they're both staring intently at their plates and chewing mutely.
Things that Tony loves:
Michelle
Sid
Himself
Effy
On an impulse, she keeps the paper. Hides it in her jewelry box, stuffed under her bangles, just in case-whatever. She needs it or Tony does or something.
And then Tony comes home.
He's back from the visit, yeah, but he really comes home, smirking and joking and little bit angry, and christ, Effy missed him.
And when he goes to bed that night, smiling and pressing a kiss to the top of her head, tight hug and, "don't stay out to late tonight," she doesn't go out at all. She lies in her bed and reads it over and over again. It’s nothing she didn’t know already, but Effy likes the proof.