Sticky Icky Nuh-uh
So as many of you know, my name is StickyKeys. Now I know the juxtaposition of those two words can lead even the cleanest mind astray, but honestly the reason for the name isn't the least bit dirty. I was trying to figure out a new name and I kept hitting the shift key out of routine. After five times the computer asked me if I wanted to activate StickyKeys which has got to be the most random thing ever and I was all "Well, I'm random, so sure!" but instead of activating it I chose it for my new name.
Simple story though sometimes I like to have a bit of wink wink fun with it. Well, at least I did, until last night. I struck up a conversation with a guy at this community bbq in Takoma Park on Sunday and we're talking about our online shenanigans and I mention my name and he starts to smile really creepily and said:
"Hey, I bet I know why those keys are sticky." and as I look at him, I'm wondering if he's conjuring up a story about the honey that my landlord harvests, or... well, what it is he's exactly talking about? So I say, "You mean like, door keys?" and he laughs and starts wiggling his fingers and he's all, "Naw girl, you know... the digits." and I realize he's imagining that the "Sticky Keys" are my fingers after I get done routing around in my vagina which begs the question:
Just what do guys think goes on down there?
I mean, I know we say we're made of sugar and spice and everything nice, but that's just metaphor, you know? We're actually made of blood and flesh and different hormones so contrary to popular belife, there's not really a Keebler Elf factory holed up in my uterus baking sugary sweets. It doesn't really get sticky and if it did then I can't imagine why that would be something that you're into. Because stickiness foretells of a lack of water which means at the very least I'm probably extremely dehydrated and don't need to waste spit and sweat trying to get freaky with you.
"Uh hmmm.." I said as I slinked away to go find someone else to talk to. I asked my friend to help me come up with a new name and quickly shut her down after the word "Butterfingers" fell from her mouth. I guess I'll always be Sticky and it will probably always be gross, but at least it's a gross I'm used to so I can't complain.
Until tomorrow!
Simple story though sometimes I like to have a bit of wink wink fun with it. Well, at least I did, until last night. I struck up a conversation with a guy at this community bbq in Takoma Park on Sunday and we're talking about our online shenanigans and I mention my name and he starts to smile really creepily and said:
"Hey, I bet I know why those keys are sticky." and as I look at him, I'm wondering if he's conjuring up a story about the honey that my landlord harvests, or... well, what it is he's exactly talking about? So I say, "You mean like, door keys?" and he laughs and starts wiggling his fingers and he's all, "Naw girl, you know... the digits." and I realize he's imagining that the "Sticky Keys" are my fingers after I get done routing around in my vagina which begs the question:
Just what do guys think goes on down there?
I mean, I know we say we're made of sugar and spice and everything nice, but that's just metaphor, you know? We're actually made of blood and flesh and different hormones so contrary to popular belife, there's not really a Keebler Elf factory holed up in my uterus baking sugary sweets. It doesn't really get sticky and if it did then I can't imagine why that would be something that you're into. Because stickiness foretells of a lack of water which means at the very least I'm probably extremely dehydrated and don't need to waste spit and sweat trying to get freaky with you.
"Uh hmmm.." I said as I slinked away to go find someone else to talk to. I asked my friend to help me come up with a new name and quickly shut her down after the word "Butterfingers" fell from her mouth. I guess I'll always be Sticky and it will probably always be gross, but at least it's a gross I'm used to so I can't complain.
Until tomorrow!