Too good to not be posted...
This was in response to a comment in my last post. The situation (which wasn't really a situation, but a misunderstanding of a multispecific nature) has since been resolved, but this is just good stuff.
From thegirliscrazy with inserts by me ( Read more... )
From thegirliscrazy with inserts by me ( Read more... )
I find it perplexing that it is assumed I secretly harbor a desire to say "nigger" and am seeking permission to do so. This isn't the first time I've heard this, and while the conversation isn't directed specifically at me this time, I assume I fit into the "white people" group addressed in this post.
I think part of the reason this is an issue is that hip hop is so popular and the word is heavily employed in that genre. When I was growing up, you had to be into hip hop in order to be cool, and since that's part of the lexicon you get all these kids who want to be cool imitating their idols, some of whom throw it around a lot. In essence, (cool people say nigger/nigga) + (white kids who want to be cool) == (a bunch of non-racist white kids saying nigger/nigga who later grow into adults saying nigger/nigga). If I had to point to any one source as the major contributor to white people saying that word, it would be hip hop, or the subculture that grew around it, and the prolific use of the word within that genre/subculture. Arguing, "racism is bad so you can't say what the cool people are saying because your skin is the wrong color for it to be cool" is bound to result in confusion.
My frustration isn't that I'm being held responsible for whatever mistakes my ancestors made necessarily. I could make the whole "my ancestors fought a war that freed slaves" thing but I'm sure not every single ancestor was an abolishionist. When I worked one hour photo I was often (a quarter of the time) accused of being a racist if a black customers photos didn't come out (or if they contained nudity and I wasn't allowed to sell them). It was only black people who threw this accusation around in the two years I was there, and it happened exactly a quarter of the time after I started keeping count.
My frustration is that I feel like I'm not permitted to dislike someone if their skin is black. If their personality or behavior bother me, I've been trained to expect that I'm going to be accused of racism. Combine that with behavioural observations like how it always seems to be black people who are walking slowly and blocking the whole isle in the mall when I'm in a rush, and I start to wonder if I'm seeing an actual correlation or if I really am secretly a racist in denial.
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Anyhow, I'll try to recreate my thoughts.
1. Here whitefolk = THE WHITE. The entity of white that has perpetrated a power scale that marginalizes so called minorities in this country.
2. A lot of comments are spoken in feelings. It's not necessarily the words that need to be read, but the sentiment underneath that needs to be understood.
3. Read some of the comments on this post and the last, a lot of what you've mentioned has been addressed.
4. Everyone is influenced by racism. Someitmes it influences us in ways that we never expected and sometimes that cna be harmful or it can be powerful. sometimes it is both.
Now I read your journal and I don't believe for a second that you want to run around calling anyone out of their name regardless of race, sex, sexuality, etc. I realize it's frustrating to you to have to pay for the mistakes of what may not have even been your ancestors, but I want you to realize that you also benefit which is a choice that many POC (people of color) don't have.
Yes, the heckling gets tiresome, but really that's something that POC deal with on a daily basis, and sometimes we are purposefully set back because of it. Because of simply being.
Black people can accuse you up and down of whatever (and they will), but ultimately it won't have the same effect as if you did it.
It's hard to think about, but this is where we are. A lot of black people being pissed off and a lot of white people saying, "It's not fair that you're treating me this way just because of the color of my... oh."
It's a very cylon/humans era.
It's late and I'm getting sleepy, but I encourage any and all debate and questioning. Lord knows I've learned tons from these posts and it would be a disappointment for you to go away upset or thinking that this venting session was not one of openness.
4. The hip hop reasoning has some merit, but ultimately the debate has been raging on forever, way before hip hop was the institution that it is now.
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Congratulations on bringing the focus away from racism and back to you! Way to go, champ!
In essence, (cool people say [the n-word]) + (white kids who want to be cool) == (a bunch of non-racist white kids saying [the n-word] who later grow into adults saying [the n-word]).
I love how you used the N-word six times in a comment on a BLACK PERSON'S livejournal entry about how WHITE PEOPLE SHOULD NOT USE THE N-WORD. And I think you just demonstrated that you do in fact have a secret desire to use the N-word, 'cause otherwise, YOU WOULD HAVE FOUND A DIFFERENT WAY TO PHRASE THAT FUCKING COMMENT.
If I had to point to any one source as the major contributor to white people saying that word, it would be hip hop, or the subculture that grew around it, and the prolific use of the word within that genre/subculture.
4 Real? 'Cause I would say the major contributor to white people saying the n-word is WHITE PEOPLE APPROPRIATING HIP-HOP CULTURE AS THEIR OWN while PRETENDING WHITE PRIVILEGE DOESN'T EXIST.
My frustration isn't that I'm being held responsible for whatever mistakes my ancestors made necessarily.
My frustration is that white people trot out this straw man whenever an elementary-level discussion of racism even looks like it's about to happen.
Combine that with behavioural observations like how it always seems to be black people who are walking slowly and blocking the whole isle in the mall when I'm in a rush, and I start to wonder if I'm seeing an actual correlation or if I really am secretly a racist in denial.
I ain't seeing much "secret" or "denial" up there, sir.
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I saw this an didn't quite know how to respond. I didn't want to be like... yeah, but still.
1. You're going to notice race, it's there, you have to, you should, you'd be an idiot if you didn't.
2. Try not to call slow black people niggers.
I mean, I think this insistence that white people have with being COMPLETELY COLOR BLIND AHHH! is what holds up any progress.
Because know I'm black. Dark black even, and know that I've gone through some crap because of it. You can't dismiss the effects that racism has had on this country, but when you acknowledge them and use that knowledge to empower rather than hurt that's when progress is made.
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1. You're going to notice race, it's there, you have to, you should, you'd be an idiot if you didn't.
2. Try not to call slow black people n-----s.
That was awesome. Just, for the fucking win, yo.
Because know I'm black. Dark black even, and know that I've gone through some crap because of it. You can't dismiss the effects that racism has had on this country, but when you acknowledge them and use that knowledge to empower rather than hurt that's when progress is made.
Yeah, I mean . . . yr not asking everybody to join the White Panther Party, but . . . you know, just acknowledge yr experience as a Black person.
White people have to learn how to say no to themselves.
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Yeah, that need to go on a poster or t-shirt or something.
Seriously, that's brilliant in it's simplicity and truth.
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In my example it was less an issue of concern with being color blind, and more of a concern in that I'm only noticing a behavior that irritates me from people who's only apparent relationship is skin color. This would seem to be a textbook case of a racist point of view, and coupled with being regularly accused of it for a few years one starts to wonder.
The frustration comes because I don't consider myself to be a racist. But because I was (I believe) wrongly accused of being one on a regular basis for a few years, I begin to doubt my ability to self evaluate. If I do have a racial bias, I see no point in denying it regardless of my desire to be one way or the other. I would content at the least that I'm not hateful, and again on your second point, I don't secretly desire to call people the "N" word and am being told to try to not call slow black people the "N" word.
So in my original comment it would have been more accurate for me to say that it's perplexing that it is assumed I secretly harbor a desire to use the "N" word as a perforative. I'll admit I have no objection toward using the word academically, and would only refrain from it's use in that manner when considering a friends feelings.
I can't dismiss that racism has an effect on this country. I'm viscerally aware of this as my very arab looking daughter grows older in a country who's attitude toward arabs became very hostile toward people who look like her just months after she was born.
And while I wouldn't claim that any crap I've gone through for being white is comparable toward the crap you go through for being black, I can only offer perspective on why white people do what they do, right or wrong. But I in no way envy you having to wonder if you got shitty treatment just because someone was an dickhead in general or if it's because they decided your skin was the wrong color. That said, I'd argue that the lesser crap I and others like me go through is still relavant if solving the problem is truely the end goal.
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My God we were born in a country that was built on nearly 16 generations of black slavery. We have ancestors that did nothing but hate and they were observed by their children and so on.
You can't dismiss the fact that racial prejudice exists in the minds of everyone on this soil, it would be dismissing the struggle that people have gone through for far too long.
The opposite of racial stereotyping in all reality is ignorance. Being completely and utterly unaware of your surroundings and the world around you.
What you can do is make sure to challenge those prejudices at every turn, and to make sure that your decisions are not dictated by those prejudices. And yes, you'll get tested every time, but it's up to you whether you fail. I told kalbear if a black man comes and called you a cracka and punches you in the nuts, you make sure you don't call him a nigger and then start hating all black people because of it.
And as children of God we know the value of turning the other cheek and doing unto others. We just have to be aware of what influences are in the world around us and make sure we don't cave to those. We won't always succeed, but each little step helps.
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That said I'd agree with you that we all have racial bias. Case in point if a person displays any ethnic physical traits they are called black/hispanic/asian even when they are obviously predominantly white, an attitude that seems to be shared by all Americans. I became aware of this only when someone outside of the country commented on it. I don't think this qualifies as racism though. I think it's alarmist and does more harm than good to equate everyone with groups like the klan.
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I argue with my SIL about this a lot because she's white but her kids are considered black. Her family is chuck full of racists and she thinks that because she married a black man and had his children it doesn't apply to her, but she constantly makes mistajes based on racial grounds.
She won't let the kids participate in programs designed to educate about their culture, she barely lets them hang around the relatives on our side of the family, and she doesn't even realize that what's she's doing is ultimately harmful.
We have to stop being so extremist about race. Because it's not "I'm only racist if I call you the n word and lynch you". There's so much more to that.
Racism is bad, but it's so much more universal than the credit it's given.
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