(no subject)
i guess you could say, or i could say that this was the best day ever... dan and i went shopping and to my great amazement and pleasure dan loves shopping just as much as i do.
i haven't felt normal in a little more than a week, and i wasn't sure if i was sick, coming down with something, depressed, or anticipating with great anxiety and terrible body aches something terrifying, unnerving, and life altering. i have just been feeling this enormous weight and i don't know if that's what the frequent urges to vomit stem from. several of my co-workers convinced me i was pregnant, even though it did not seem possible. i left work early rushed home and took a home pregnancy test for the first time in my life, it was an odd experience. i really had no idea what i wanted the little white stick to reveal, i remember almost hoping it would show up positive as an explanation for the way i have been feeling, but alas it was negative. this little test was awkward in the way that it was relieving and disappointing at the same time. i know it is for the best.
so with all of that pushed aside i spent the best day ever with my danny. he always knows exactly how to make me smile or laugh and just forget about everything else. and honestly i wonder if i have been scared that our relationship is just too perfect. i wonder if my fear of everything right going wrong, is haunting me and causing these continuous bouts of anxiety. dan showed me today that i have nothing to worry about. we love each other and the only reason all of my other relationships went sour, is the fact that i lost interest. if there is one thing i know, it is that i will love dan forever.
i haven't felt normal in a little more than a week, and i wasn't sure if i was sick, coming down with something, depressed, or anticipating with great anxiety and terrible body aches something terrifying, unnerving, and life altering. i have just been feeling this enormous weight and i don't know if that's what the frequent urges to vomit stem from. several of my co-workers convinced me i was pregnant, even though it did not seem possible. i left work early rushed home and took a home pregnancy test for the first time in my life, it was an odd experience. i really had no idea what i wanted the little white stick to reveal, i remember almost hoping it would show up positive as an explanation for the way i have been feeling, but alas it was negative. this little test was awkward in the way that it was relieving and disappointing at the same time. i know it is for the best.
so with all of that pushed aside i spent the best day ever with my danny. he always knows exactly how to make me smile or laugh and just forget about everything else. and honestly i wonder if i have been scared that our relationship is just too perfect. i wonder if my fear of everything right going wrong, is haunting me and causing these continuous bouts of anxiety. dan showed me today that i have nothing to worry about. we love each other and the only reason all of my other relationships went sour, is the fact that i lost interest. if there is one thing i know, it is that i will love dan forever.