(no subject)
Life as a post-postgraduate is really freaking weird. I kind of feel like I have no direction at all, even though there are things that I want to do and things I need to learn. I have no patience for playing the bassoon at the moment, which I surely do not need to mention is bad, since it's why I moved here in addition to being my best hope for gainful employment. I haven't practiced properly in weeks. I think I'm pretty depressed-- one of my friends said I'm like a fish out of water right now, which pretty much sums it up. (Don't get me wrong, I really don't fancy diving in to the protective waters of school again.) Something's got to give, right?
I've gone through spells like this before but they've never lasted this long. I need inspiration and I can't remember where to find it. My teacher is in Australia, five of my closest friends are abroad right now, my flatmate has to move home and my landlord is a jackass.
I keep listening to the new Albrecht Mayer oboe cd, which is just so amazing, and I want so badly to play like that. I often wonder what would have happened if, that day back in high school, I'd kept the oboe instead of giving it to Kathryn to play rather than taking up the bassoon. But then I remember that I didn't like actually playing the oboe, only listening to it, and the bassoon is my voice. I just feel like I have a nasty case of laryngitis and I want it to go away right now so I can actually move on.
I've gone through spells like this before but they've never lasted this long. I need inspiration and I can't remember where to find it. My teacher is in Australia, five of my closest friends are abroad right now, my flatmate has to move home and my landlord is a jackass.
I keep listening to the new Albrecht Mayer oboe cd, which is just so amazing, and I want so badly to play like that. I often wonder what would have happened if, that day back in high school, I'd kept the oboe instead of giving it to Kathryn to play rather than taking up the bassoon. But then I remember that I didn't like actually playing the oboe, only listening to it, and the bassoon is my voice. I just feel like I have a nasty case of laryngitis and I want it to go away right now so I can actually move on.