(no subject)
Well...I havn't been updating because I feel like a complete and utter pig. I've been eating everything in sight...and it shows on the motherfucking scale...why can't I just have an ounce of control? I remember a time when I could go to the gym four hours a night and live off yogurt. But now...I can feel my belly protruding, my thighs slapping, and my ass jiggling and it's so disgusting I could just sob. I ask everyone daily if it looks like I've gained weight. My mother flips out and gets sarcastic and my friends look me over from head to foot and say "Um..no." It's like...I NEED to hear them say "Yes, you have you fat fucking cow."
And another thing that bothers me is that...well...HE used to tell me how beautiful and hot I was but now, he says nothing...and it breaks me. Everyone will compliment me except for him. It used to be he'd compliment me everyday...and now I'm nothing.
I'm not going to breathe a word of what I've eaten for the past couple of weeks because it's so embarassing...and I havn't even been running or anything...*eyes tear over*
Why am I so fucking gross?
And another thing that bothers me is that...well...HE used to tell me how beautiful and hot I was but now, he says nothing...and it breaks me. Everyone will compliment me except for him. It used to be he'd compliment me everyday...and now I'm nothing.
I'm not going to breathe a word of what I've eaten for the past couple of weeks because it's so embarassing...and I havn't even been running or anything...*eyes tear over*
Why am I so fucking gross?