Death to Bad Jazz
Just now, while playing Radio 3's Late Junction via the BBC website, my computer decided to crash. However, in its frozen state, it managed to keep one perfect loop of a really annoying saxophone tune playing. I was working on an unsaved Word document at the time and so was loathe to reboot the thing. I shut the lid, which usually hibernates it. Bad jazz loop kept playing. I pulled the plug out. Laptop happily switched to battery power; bad jazz loop kept playing. I opened the lid and pressed Ctrl Alt Del about eight times. Nothing would work or move but bad jazz loop kept playing. I was desperate to yank the battery out but didn't, for fear of killing the laptop fairies. I sat, I swore, I whacked all the keys for fun. Bad jazz loop kept playing, and by now the way the last note kept going up at the end of the bad jazz sentence was really destroying my sanity. It was like listening to a Kings Road teenager or an Australian surfer ask the same question, repeatedly. I sat and counted forty loops. I tried to turn the volume down. Nothing. Finally I shut the lid again and went downstairs to rummage through the post. Came back with some junk mail and discovered the bad jazz had stopped, while the document had remained completely intact. The moral of this is that junk mail has holy powers and should always be turned to in times of emergency. AND DEATH TO BAD JAZZ.