seventy miles an hour, windows up tight, and i am hoooooooome!!!
everything's alright i guess.
i went crazy again last night around what i guess was 10ish. i don't know why, but sometimes i have these episodes where i just have a bad thought and it starts to snowball into a breakdown. it's not like it's over different things, though. i could probably prove myself wrong so it wouldn't happen again too, but i always just figure that it's over and it's not important so i keep putting it off. it's not like i can hurt myself though. i can't cut anymore. i wanted to. but i know i promised not to and i stick to my word. besides, my parents would find out and do something about it, and anyway, i tossed the only blade i had fourish months ago. but i wanted to hurt myself, so i found a screw and started stabbing myself. not very effective. i can't drink. i don't like the taste anymore, and i know it's only because i had such a shitty experience before. i'm afraid to raid the medicine cabinets because i don't want to accidentially kill myself. so what have i got left to get out of my funk? not much. oh well. it's over now.
school was alright. a drag. but alright. parents anniversary today. eating dinner with them tonight. kick ben's ass if you see him at the mall. or just shun him from a distance :) this weekend, everyone's out of the house except for me and grumpy (my dad's daddy) and maybe some friends will come and keep me from getting bored. i'm hungry. and this is over.
i went crazy again last night around what i guess was 10ish. i don't know why, but sometimes i have these episodes where i just have a bad thought and it starts to snowball into a breakdown. it's not like it's over different things, though. i could probably prove myself wrong so it wouldn't happen again too, but i always just figure that it's over and it's not important so i keep putting it off. it's not like i can hurt myself though. i can't cut anymore. i wanted to. but i know i promised not to and i stick to my word. besides, my parents would find out and do something about it, and anyway, i tossed the only blade i had fourish months ago. but i wanted to hurt myself, so i found a screw and started stabbing myself. not very effective. i can't drink. i don't like the taste anymore, and i know it's only because i had such a shitty experience before. i'm afraid to raid the medicine cabinets because i don't want to accidentially kill myself. so what have i got left to get out of my funk? not much. oh well. it's over now.
school was alright. a drag. but alright. parents anniversary today. eating dinner with them tonight. kick ben's ass if you see him at the mall. or just shun him from a distance :) this weekend, everyone's out of the house except for me and grumpy (my dad's daddy) and maybe some friends will come and keep me from getting bored. i'm hungry. and this is over.