Comments | stick_poker: Fic: White Tie

stick_poker

Fic: White Tie

Jul 16, 2010 11:52

Title: White Tie
Author: stick_poker
Rating: Adult, yep, back to the smut again
Characters: Eleven / younger River and someone else offscreen
Spoilers: For the finale of S5.
Note: This is what the previous thing was originally the backstory to. It was written for the same kinkmeme prompt, and so originally it was mainly a cheap excuse to think of ( Read more... )

adult, fic, kinkmeme

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promethia_tenk July 19 2010, 01:04:48 UTC

Oooh . . . you write excellent smut, you really do. You avoid that . . . mechanical-ness that too much smut falls into, load it up with character and intrigue, and keep it hot at the same time. The shirt as restraint is a personal favorite.

And I looooooove the idea of the older Doctor and River, haunting the background, plotting and laughing against their younger selves.

Sadly, I don't think I'm clever enough to ferret out the secret. Is older him just refusing to talk?

stick_poker July 19 2010, 08:35:07 UTC

The shirt as restraint is a personal favorite.
Look at him like that, honestly, the way you end up pulling against a shirt like that makes anyone look like they've got shoulders, bunching his fists, arms flexing, mouth in a line trying to fight it... But I wanted it to be his POV, to feel her being a bit off, to see how much of the trap is self-imposed, which means not being able to watch him look like that from the outside properly. Bah.

I think the secret's probably not really there. Or it's in the line but I haven't made the key to it, which is spread out over elsewhere, obvious enough. This is still interesting to know.

promethia_tenk July 20 2010, 17:52:20 UTC

which means not being able to watch him look like that from the outside properly. Bah.
Ah, but it leads to bonus comment description, so it's all good. I see your point though, it was definitely more important to get the Doc's perspective. (I did have a friend in another fandom who would would occasionally write companion pieces to her smut, from the other person's perspective, just to get around this problem. I don't think she ever wrote anything so lengthy though.)

stick_poker July 20 2010, 21:07:04 UTC

The double-ender, if you'll forgive the expression, is a wonderful thing.

promethia_tenk July 21 2010, 00:01:35 UTC

Haha! Indeed I will.

stick_poker July 19 2010, 09:01:37 UTC

You know I think this line “Two of you! You’re ganging up on me!” is misleading because it suggests a pair, two things the same, but I can't work out what else to put. How does he age?

promethia_tenk July 20 2010, 17:53:30 UTC

I assumed that the other Doctor who sent her there was an older regeneration. Am I missing something?

stick_poker July 20 2010, 21:05:52 UTC

*grins* You're right, but what do we know about that older regeneration?

The problem is, when this sort of thing isn't got straight away, it assumes greater magnitude than it actually has. Bear in mind this may be really cheap.

promethia_tenk July 21 2010, 00:21:15 UTC

Wait, wait, wait . . . is the older Doctor a woman?

stick_poker July 21 2010, 07:47:09 UTC

*beams and hands over giant internet-shaped cookie*

I'm sorry, but once I'd had a think about who might be sending River back in time for a nice helping of tiemcock in a pretty suit, the cheapest option seemed to be the only one I could go for. And then I went through it and made sure she didn't give anything away in the pronouns and gave him a misunderstanding and there you go. I reckoned this would also contribute to why she's a bit wary of him, careful in exploring him, that kind of thing.

See I can't work out how offensive it is if a female Doctor, the one River probably always thinks of as her Doctor if that's where it starts, sends her girlfriend off for some cock, but sends her to a male version of her own self for it. Probably still quite, I think. Although, it's also an essential wake-up call to her old self, and probably to River, too, maybe make her start taking the timey-wimey a bit more seriously. Future!Doctor is certainly laughing but at least some of it is at her own expense; I think she's perhaps still worried that ( ... )

promethia_tenk July 21 2010, 15:05:44 UTC

YES! *noms cookie* And it only took me, like, five guesses and a lot of leading prodding too!

In seriousness, it's awfully subtle, although as soon as it occurred to me, I had to do a massive foreheadslap over "Even when there's something else that might take over..." How on earth did I not get that? Assumptions really do blind us to the obvious sometimes.

At any rate, I love it, and I squealed with delight when I finally figured it out and it definitely adds a whole other level to it all. Your explanation makes a lot of sense, and certainly if River's not at least a bit bi, I'll eat my hat. Or the Doctor's hat. Whatever's around.

See I can't work out how offensive it is if a female Doctor, the one River probably always thinks of as her Doctor if that's where it starts, sends her girlfriend off for some cock, but sends her to a male version of her own self for it.Oddly, modern-day sexual politics does not seem to have voiced an opinion on that issue at this time. I mostly find it funny and clever, but I get what you mean. ( ... )

stick_poker July 21 2010, 18:48:26 UTC

As I said to ms_prue, it's still useful to know that it's hard to work it out, as a sort of index of what people who don't know the answer already will pick up on.

I could be reasonably charged with implying that a lesbian relationship that doesn't involve a cock is not a fully satisfying relationship, but I'm hoping to get away with claiming that it's future!Doctor who's made that assumption, and anyway, sort of has one somewhere else so may as well make use of it.

promethia_tenk July 22 2010, 15:13:40 UTC

As I said to ms_prue, it's still useful to know that it's hard to work it out, as a sort of index of what people who don't know the answer already will pick up on.
Yeah, it is so tricky to gauge that kind of stuff if your own writing.

I could be reasonably charged with implying that a lesbian relationship that doesn't involve a cock is not a fully satisfying relationship,
Yeah, not really a message you want to send. And it does kind of flash through your head, I won't lie there. At least for me I get drug on pretty immediately to the more individual complications of their situation and thinking about things like "what if River is only interested in the Doctor in female form?" Well, I suppose that is her prerogative, but then the relationship is going to need some negotiating and defining, and how sad for the Doctor if River can't accept her/him in all forms . . . and then I realize I've thought myself into an episode of the L Word; I'm pretty sure they did that story ( ... )

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