i.
It seems the last ten years are a blur, but it's not so negative thing I point out because even if they moved by quickly, I can look back at the bits and pieces that I recall, the many faces I've seen and wonderful experiences I've had in these passed years. Somehow, I think I should be saying something completely different here but I don't know where to start really.
Hi my name is Gwen, and I decided I'd check to see what happens when you have a little spare time on your hands.
Doesn't sound appropriate, not that everything in life has to be. I could talk about my experiences, or my son, I could talk about so many things but I'm left speechless half the time because that's just the thing, I don't know exactly where to start. I guess I could just start typing, as I am now and keep going until I feel I've said enough, but when is enough really considered to be enough? I'm tired and rambling, you have to love those times, especially when you can't remember a specific word you're looking for, or you don't know how to state something and just let it come out only to end up completely opposite of what you really wanted. Well, I don't plan on doing that just yet.
Getting back on topic. I look back over the years, at my life and the people I've had the pleasure to keep around me and if I had to go back, I don't think I would change anything. It's easy to say you want to live your life without a regret, or you don't have a regret and I can say that; it's not because I've done things that shouldn't have been done, but it's because I learned a lesson from those things and they set me right. Life is about experiences, so why not take a step in the wrong direction every once in a while to see if it really is the wrong direction? I look back over the years, over the last ten, even twenty years and how lucky I've been to see as many places as I have. The people, I can't recall names or voices, never personal details but I know the faces that look at me. I know when a smile is genuine and when it's faked. Some of those people I've had the greatest conversations with and others, I'd like to never see again, but I like to think we all have those in our lives.
I've come so far, from this little girl who used to think she was on top of the world, and really finding out what the world is all about. I don't want to change a thing, not even the night where I drank a little too much fucking rum in Jamaica and woke up with the worst hang over. The lesson? Don't drink more than you can handle, especially rum. It leaves you feeling like you've pretty much been run over by a train, without your life being taken from you.
It's easy to say no regrets if they aren't regrets to begin with. The past is the past, learn from it in today for tomorrow. That's all there is to say about that, so why do I talk so much about the past? I guess it's just easier to talk about the past than it is the present, because some things are meant to be kept private. Working on No Doubt, that's your present. The future? The only thing I'm sure about is that it constantly changes. I can tell you about my hopes for the future but at this point, I think I'll call it a day with this thing. It's far too nice outside to sit here, and a walk is in order.
G.