Planning a funeral...
Thanks to petulans for digging through the past
Kay's belief that the disposal of his body is a secondary act, and that he'd prefer people to enjoy the marking of his passing (while understanding, expecting and accepting the there will be sadness) has remained constant and his love of nature was undiminished.
Unfortunately (from the standpoint of reaching a decision) his views on burial had changed - his mobility, depression and consequent social anxiety left him feeling, at times trapped in the house; cold and damp made his pain worse; and staying in the same position was very uncomfortable for him - or perhaps the cremations of Tal and his father influenced him?
So. Do I respect his wishes from happier times, or his more recent wishes? Ultimately, it doesn't matter - he didn't care, but I don't want to feel I'd let him down.
I think I'll stick to cremation, with scattering at beautiful, natural places - such as the woodland at Coombe Abbey country park, where his spirit* will be free to play in the sun, to dance in the moonlight or sit in the dappled shade of the trees; never far from people when he wanted to be with them, but free to be on his own when he wanted.
* Like Kay, I'd be "very pleasantly surprised" to discover that an aspect of the self survives death. By "spirit" I mean our imaginations' anthropomorphism of memories of him.
Kay's belief that the disposal of his body is a secondary act, and that he'd prefer people to enjoy the marking of his passing (while understanding, expecting and accepting the there will be sadness) has remained constant and his love of nature was undiminished.
Unfortunately (from the standpoint of reaching a decision) his views on burial had changed - his mobility, depression and consequent social anxiety left him feeling, at times trapped in the house; cold and damp made his pain worse; and staying in the same position was very uncomfortable for him - or perhaps the cremations of Tal and his father influenced him?
So. Do I respect his wishes from happier times, or his more recent wishes? Ultimately, it doesn't matter - he didn't care, but I don't want to feel I'd let him down.
I think I'll stick to cremation, with scattering at beautiful, natural places - such as the woodland at Coombe Abbey country park, where his spirit* will be free to play in the sun, to dance in the moonlight or sit in the dappled shade of the trees; never far from people when he wanted to be with them, but free to be on his own when he wanted.
* Like Kay, I'd be "very pleasantly surprised" to discover that an aspect of the self survives death. By "spirit" I mean our imaginations' anthropomorphism of memories of him.