FIC- Ties That Bind, [NC-17], 7/?, J/T, C/W
Title: Ties That Bind
Author: Sanssong
Date: 06/19/2006
Part: 7/?
Rating: NC-17 (overall)
Pairings: John/Teyla, Caldwell/Weir (implied)
Characters: John, Teyla, Weir, Carson, Rodney, Ronon, Peoal Baat, Heilene Baat.
Category: Novella
Genre: Action Romance Drama Smut Relationship
Warnings: Adult Sexual Situations, Sexual Language, Language
Archiving: STF, STF LJ, JTC, GW LJ, Atlantis Lovers LJ, Atlantis Fic, Wraithbait, Gate of Dreams, Heliopolis, All others, please ask.
Summary: Bonding Day!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Ma’am,” the heavily armed guard intoned with polite reserve. “If you’ll wait inside please? The Sovereign will join you at his convenience.”
“Of course,” Heilene murmured, still dazed from the shock of being hauled away by her husband’s guards in front of her staff. She stepped through the large door into the office she’d been in a thousand times before and just stood.
“I’m sorry ma’am,” the young man said with sincerity before closing the door. It clicked shut with grim finality.
Heilene raised a trembling hand to her smooth her perfectly coifed hair as she waited in the empty office for her life-mate. Though she’d been treated with all courtesy during the Tran ride across the vast city, there was no doubt that she was now a prisoner.
Any fleeting thought to the contrary was erased by three of Peoal’s elite guard standing just outside his office door. She was not free to leave.
She should have known that her true intentions would not have remained secret from her all powerful life-mate and Sovereign. She, of all people, knew his network of operatives was as large as it was ruthless. Even without all that, the bond between life-mates left little in the nature of privacy- the longer they were bonded- the more it made them empathic, one with the other.
It was almost impossible to hide from him.
Heilene had wanted more from Colonel John Sheppard than she was willing to admit, even to herself. She had held on to a wild hope that he wasn’t as attached to his Athosian as the Intel reports had indicated. She’d hoped that he would be the one she could confide in- the one who could Gate her off Saason to safety. Away from Peoal.
Foolish hopes from an even more foolish woman, she chided herself. In a moment of impractical weakness she’d bargained away what was left of her power over Peoal. He now had the evidence he needed to punish her for a very long time. There was no doubt in her mind that he would do it.
He would also succeed in his plans for securing Saasonese safety which she couldn’t find a way to be glad about. It went against everything she believed in to live protected from the Wraith while other worlds around them lost millions. It was obscene. She shuddered as she thought of the lives that would be lost while they all lived in security.
Heilene had tried to reason with Peoal. The memory of her painful failure still hunted her.
“You can’t be serious, darling?” she’d pleaded. “Cutting off trade and diplomatic relations with all worlds- including our allies? I thought this was to protect us from the Wraith as we searched for ways to defeat them, not isolate us!”
“Do not allow yourself to become distraught over things you can’t possibly understand,” Peoal condescended.
He disdained emotional outbursts and his patience was razor thin after her actions that night, she could feel it.
“Peoal please,” Heilene pressed, despite her better judgment. “You have everything you could possibly want, more even- why turn our backs on the entire galaxy?”
“What’s the matter my love,” Peoal growled through clenched teeth, viciously yanking her into his arms. “Afraid you’ll not have another change to leave your beloved life-mate?”
Heilene’s blood froze in her veins. He knew.
“What?” he sneered. “No, clever lies or comebacks? I can’t deal with you now as I’d like, but trust me my dear, the time will come soon. And just so we understand one another, what may or may not happen to Saason is none of your concern.”
After using their sexual bond against her in the most degrading way, he left her alone in their bed. She hadn’t seen him since.
Shaking off the cold horror of the memory, she mused bitterly to herself that ‘her time had indeed come’.
Distraught, Heilene wrung her hands and paced toward the large window overlooking the city. She couldn’t let it happen. She just couldn’t let him succeed. There had to be way.
Drawing on the courage born from generations of honorable Saasonese women, Heilene mentally prepared herself to endure whatever Peoal had in store for her. She would live through it and stop him. For once in her life, she would do the right thing.
*
“Report,” Colonel Caldwell barked at the nearest Lieutenant as he walked onto the bridge of the Daedalus. “Have we heard from Dr. Weir and her landing party yet?”
“No, sir.”
Caldwell caught the man’s eyes in a no-nonsense stare. “Are we still within transporter range and invisible to the Saason’s satellite surveillance?”
“Yes, sir, Hermiod is personally monitoring propulsion and the new cloaking system installed from the Jumpers,” the young officer informed him, hastily.
“Good, I don’t want any surprises on this one.” The Colonel lowered himself into the command chair and began reading the overview from the previous shift. He was glad to see nothing of interest in the concise recitation.
He took in stride that they’d had no contact from anyone on the surface- if the situation was as dire as he suspected, they wouldn’t hear till the last minute.
Relaxing back, he tried not to think of all the times Elizabeth found herself in trouble and cut off from any assistance. There were too many times. She was the most headstrong woman he’d ever met; contrary, emotional, sometimes unreasonable… but smart… sometimes too smart, and sexy as hell.
There was a time not too long ago when those very qualities were more than just an annoyance, they were pure torture. When he first met her, Elizabeth Weir had done everything in her power to make his life miserable. He was unwelcome in her world, and she made sure he knew it.
It was amazing to him how little it took to change his mind. Just the simple truth that the flashing fire in those lovely green eyes hid a depth of passion and a real fear of letting down those she was responsible for, nothing more. Now as far as he was concerned it was his one and only mission in life to keep her safe- even from herself.
Of course he’d never let her know that, she’d skewer him with one of her looks, slap him verbally with one of her famous veiled insults and primly walk away. If she only knew the effect that had on him these days, she’d never speak to him again. Or would she?
*
He was getting married.
John kept saying that over and over to himself, hoping to hell it would finally make sense.
“Colonel,” Dr Beckett interrupted his thoughts. “Yer sleeve, you need ta roll it up so the medic can draw your blood.”
“Sorry, Carson,” Sheppard said absently and the complied with the request.
Not that he was opposed to marriage - or the thought of being with Teyla. It was just that he always thought *he’d* get to choose the day and the time.
A little voice in his head reminded him that in way he did choose when he took matters into his own hands with the Saason. He kindly told the voice to go to hell. There was no way he could have predicted this outcome.
Teyla had, the voice piped up again. John shoved the thought aside and winced in pain. He had jerked his arm unconsciously causing the port to twist sideways.
“Is this going to take long?” Irritated, John looked up at the aged technician. “I’ve sorta got something to get ready for.”
“Just a few more minutes.”
“I understood the bonding process took only a few milliliters of blood,” Carson checked the IV line once more. “Why are you taking more than that?”
The technician shrugged. “I’m just following my instructions you’ll have to consult with the Priest and Sovereign Baat.”
“Aye, I’ll do that.” Carson replied none too happy.
The conversation flowed over John and he slipped into his own thoughts again.
Even if he had fleetingly thought about a future with Teyla, forcing her to choose him wasn’t what he had in mind. And he pretty much knew after his havoc-wreaking transformation into a bug, that she would just as soon keep their relationship platonic. Story of his life -the women *he* wanted, didn’t want him.
It stung to be confronted with her rejection during his quasi- apology for kissing her weeks later. She was nervous-- evasive and told him not to think about it. He couldn’t think of any other reason for her jittery behavior. And even though their friendship wasn’t damaged, and she still called him ‘John’ off duty, he felt her confusion and withdrawal.
He’d had to admit to himself then that from the moment he’d met her on Athos, he’d hoped they’d be more than just allies and friends. He wanted her for himself- all for himself.
Too bad she didn’t want *you* he scoffed with self-deprecation. Subsequently, he buried that painful knowledge in the arms of any woman he could find.
It was just like his father always said- his emotional reactions would someday land him in trouble he couldn’t talk his way out of. It never occurred to him that others would land there with him. His old man may have treated him like a cold hearted bastard most of the time, but he was right about this.
“All finished,” The medic said after applying cotton and surgical tape to his arm. Gathering his equipment, he ambled toward the door. “Happy bonding day, young man,” he congratulated with a wry smile before disappearing.
John realized Carson had left too. Rolling down his sleeves over the small bandage, he finished up the last button on his shirt and sighed heavily.
Getting married was supposed to be happy. He on the other hand felt worried and guilty that he’d gotten the woman he loved into this mess and that he would tie her to someone she *didn’t* love forever. Him.
He sighed again. It was his wedding day, if he couldn’t be honest with himself today of all days, then he never would. Yeah, he loved Teyla for all the good it did. It certainly didn’t stop him from being an ass.
Then there was the bonding.
He and Teyla would be genetically tied together for life. If he understood his captors correctly they were both in for one hell of a sexually charged few months until they got used to being bonded. That thought was almost enough to pull him out of the gloom, but then he felt guilty again for wanting her that way- it seemed selfish, ugly. Then again- a man couldn’t be responsible for his dreams and damn it, she was his every single one.
*
A light knock sounded on the door of Teyla’s personal quarters, breaking through the thoughts that had been chasing each other around in her mind like errant village children. She had been sitting on the edge of the bed dressed and ready for several minutes, but could not bring herself to leave the solace of her room. It was probably a good thing someone came for her, giving her no choice in the matter.
“Teyla?” Elizabeth’s voice came from outside.
“Yes… Dr. Weir,” Teyla answered. “Please enter.”
Elizabeth stepped through the door and stopped short when she saw Teyla, her eyes going wide at the vision before her. “You look just beautiful, Teyla. John is a very lucky man in more ways than one.”
Unused to such compliments, she felt her face flush with color. “Thank you, Elizabeth… I…” Unable to finish her thought she turned to face the window over-looking the garden.
“I’m sorry for intruding.” Elizabeth closed the door behind her and walked to her friend. “Teyla, we’re all asking a lot of you and I know it’s not fair. My team and I understood the sacrifices we might make when we came to Atlantis, you didn’t make that same choice. No one would blame you if you decided not to go through with this.”
Teyla squeezed her eyes shut. None of them understood, not one. She *had* made the same sacrifice when she came to Atlantis, and more. More than any of them knew. Well, Ronon knew and even guessed her reasons, she thought. But not one person from the Earth expedition understood that she sacrificed the care of her own people to follow John Sheppard.
“I *want* to do this, Elizabeth.” Teyla glanced briefly at the other woman. “More than anything I have ever done.”
Dr. Weir let out a relieved sigh. “I hoped that might be the case, but you and John are very private people… I couldn’t be sure.”
Teyla regarded her in silence, an enigmatic expression masking her thoughts.
“Well.” Elizabeth cleared her throat and continued brightly. “Carson needs to draw your blood for the bonding ceremony, he’s already been to see John and the Saasonese clerics and doctors are waiting.”
Dr. Weir turned to go.
“Dr. Weir?” Teyla’s voice stopped her before she could leave.
“I want you to know that it has been an honor to fight the Wraith with you and your people. Whatever happens, I know I made the right choice for my people. I know you will take care of them.”
“Teyla, what are you saying? You’re scaring me.”
Teyla paused searching the other woman’s face as if trying to find the answer to a difficult question.
“There is a legend among my people of a couple who entered the bonding for political gain. They were not in love.”
“I don’t think I like where this is going.” Weir tensed and sat down.
“As well you should not,” Teyla continued gravely. “The couple died several days after their bonding ceremony.”
“Oh, God,” Elizabeth breathed.
“I always viewed this as a cautionary tale for our children to marry for love as those unions result in more children and stronger families, but since the Athosians long ago lost the ability to perform the genetic part of the bonding, I never gave it serious thought.”
“Teyla, you have to know…”
Teyla interrupted, “’I promise that my love for you is true and strong, my intentions without guile…lest the bond consume my body in fire.’ *That* is a line from the binding vows.”
“But I thought you loved Colonel Sheppard?” Dr. Weir was aghast at the implications. Sovereign Baat had conveniently forgotten to mention this bonding could be fatal.
“I do,” Teyla replied simply, unsurprised that Dr. Weir’s perception was uncannily accurate. “I cannot, however, be sure if my feelings are returned. I am acting on hope and instinct and pray to the Ancestors that I am right.”
“I understand.” Weir’s eyes met Teyla’s in a moment of feminine understanding.
*
Teyla’s first thought on entering the place of Bonding was how much this must be as Athos was before the last great culling hundreds of years ago. The main city itself had reminded her of the ruins on her home planet since she arrived; the clean, elegant lines, the light and airy nature of every structure. It made her long for something that could never be again: A home befitting her people.
The building was round, as on Athos, symbolizing not only the complete connectedness of the bonded couple, but also the connection between all the worlds the Ancestors had gifted with a Ring to travel between worlds.
She supposed it was a reminder that the Ancestors had intended life in her galaxy to remain dependant on one another; something that despite the evidence all around him, Sovereign Baat had forgotten, or perhaps chose to ignore.
Assembled near the center of the room in a lose circle were her team-mates from Atlantis- her second family. Beyond them stood, several dignitaries from Saason that she had met over the course of her stay, and with them, the Sovereign and his life-mate Heilene.
She should resent the woman who was instrumental in the situation she now found herself, but she did not. Heilene had unwittingly given Teyla her secret heart’s desire, John. She prayed to all the Ancestors that she was also his. If she was not, she would be consigning her love to death.
Shaking off such morose thoughts on her bonding day, Teyla continued to look around at the grandeur of the place.
The walls were primarily vast panes of window glass that looked out over the most verdant and extensive gardens she had ever seen. Brilliant splashes of red, yellow, pink, blue and purple interspersed with deep greens. It was impressive.
Inside the large room, the muted silver’s and pastel’s complemented the white and green floral garlands draped over every opening. These were to symbolize the newness of love and life together.
Thick pillared candles on tall wrought iron stands glowed softly their light absorbed by the last brilliant rays of the afternoon sun. She has no doubt the look would be magical once night fell on the bonding celebration to come.
Then standing in their midst were the solemn Priest of the Ancestors and - John. He waited there for her to join him.
Teyla’s breath caught and held for several seconds when she saw him, his male beauty captivated her. He was dressed in dark tapered pants, a long black Athosian looking dress jacket with a soft grey shirt underneath that matched his quick-silver green/grey eyes perfectly.
And he was staring at her as if she were the only woman in the room.
“Do you come of your own free will to be bound?” The priests booming voice echoed across the room to wake her from her visions of John.
“I do,” Teyla answered her voice strong and confident.
“Enter the circle,” he commanded.
Teyla approached the circle never taking her eyes from John’s. In that moment her world contracted to him alone.
“God, Teyla… you are beautiful…” John whispered.
Teyla blushed at his words, but rewarded him with a shy smile.
“John Sheppard, Lt. Colonel of Atlantis and Teyla Emmagan, of Athos, Leader of the Athosian people have come today beseeching the Ancestors to bind their souls for eternity.”
Teyla closed her eyes as the Priest intoned the first phrases of the bonding. Familiar and comforting, they reminded her of home. She suddenly wished her father were here to witness her vows.
“From this day, there will be no other in your heart or mind. You will be only and always for the other.” The priest paused looking gravely from one to the other. “Do you so desire?”
“Yes, we so desire.” John and Teyla answered in unison as was the custom.
The priest acknowledged their answer with a nod of his aged head and motioned for the attendant to his right. The younger attendant placed a small white box in the priest’s waiting hands and it opened to reveal a small medical syringe similar to those on Atlantis.
“Lt. Colonel John Sheppard of Atlantis, make your vow.”
John swallowed hard and hoped to hell he wouldn’t trip over his tongue. He wasn’t used to such formal language and had one hell of a time memorizing this. On the other hand, it was amazing what you could learn when your life depended on it- and when you were getting the one thing you wanted the most.
He hoped with everything in him that Teyla would come to feel some of what he felt for her in the days to come. It was the only way he could justify tying her to him forever.
“I, John Sheppard, promise that my love for you is true and strong; my intentions without guile; my soul from this moment forth completely open to yours, lest the bond consume my body in fire.” He paused to swallow and give himself an extra second or two to remember the exact words in the final sentence. This would be so much easier if it were only he and Teyla.
The phrase popped into John’s mind just as he was about to give up. “It is my sole intention to live my life entwined with yours built on the bond of love we create this day.”
Done. Thank God.
The Priest removed the syringe from the box and pressed it against the base of John’s throat. He immediately felt a tingle, as if a thousand points of light were entering his blood steam from that point on his neck.
“I am bound,” he replied as instructed. He caught Teyla’s eye as the priest returned it to the box, her eyes wide with wonder- and perhaps something else?
“Teyla Emmagan, of Athos, leader of the Athoisan people, make your vow.”
As was her right as leader of her people Teyla chose to use the older, melodic version of the vows. She prayed her normally strong steady voice would not break on the beautiful notes.
“I promise my love for you,” her clear voice pitched intimate and low, meant for John alone. “Shall ever be strong, and ever be true.”
John was entranced by the feminine lyric quality of Teyla’s voice. It stirred him, compelling him to take her away to be alone. It stirred him to want to listen forever in this moment, in this place. He should have felt embarrassed; having someone sing a love song to him wasn’t something he’d normally like a room full of people to witness, funny he that he didn’t mind at all. Those points of light must be messing with his head.
“My soul to yours ever open, entwined with the bonds, that will never be broken. ”
Teyla sang out the age old words she had known since childhood, comforted by their familiarity.
“…Lest the bond consume my body in fire.” She let the last note fade into the silence.
If John hadn’t been in love before, he was caught now, helpless and unable to stop the cascade of emotions that crashed through him from her haunting song.
Teyla inhaled and closed her eyes as the priest repeated the injection. The minute the contents of the syringe hit her system, a feeling not unlike euphoria infused her entire body, flowing out of her to John and back again. She could literally *feel* her essence being connected to his.
Opening her eyes, she realized that if the look of awe on John’s face was any indication, he felt it too. Her heart soared.
“I am bound.”
Their eyes met and held in unspoken emotion.
Handing the box back the attendant, the priest placed a hand on the top of their heads and bowed his own in silence for several long seconds. John could hear him murmuring under his breath, but couldn’t quite make out the words.
Finally the man looked up, his gaze traveling around the large room to the assembled guests, and spoke. “Welcome to the Celebration of the Newly-Bound!”
The room erupted in applause and cheers, with several cat-calls from the Atlantis delegation.
Even though it wasn’t part of the traditional Saasonese or Athosian ceremony, John would be damned if he didn’t get to kiss the bride on his wedding day. Before she - or the stuffy looking priest could protest, he pulled Teyla into is arms and kissed her deeply. Her eager response filled him with hope, not to mention something else they’d be taking care of later.
TBC
Author: Sanssong
Date: 06/19/2006
Part: 7/?
Rating: NC-17 (overall)
Pairings: John/Teyla, Caldwell/Weir (implied)
Characters: John, Teyla, Weir, Carson, Rodney, Ronon, Peoal Baat, Heilene Baat.
Category: Novella
Genre: Action Romance Drama Smut Relationship
Warnings: Adult Sexual Situations, Sexual Language, Language
Archiving: STF, STF LJ, JTC, GW LJ, Atlantis Lovers LJ, Atlantis Fic, Wraithbait, Gate of Dreams, Heliopolis, All others, please ask.
Summary: Bonding Day!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Ma’am,” the heavily armed guard intoned with polite reserve. “If you’ll wait inside please? The Sovereign will join you at his convenience.”
“Of course,” Heilene murmured, still dazed from the shock of being hauled away by her husband’s guards in front of her staff. She stepped through the large door into the office she’d been in a thousand times before and just stood.
“I’m sorry ma’am,” the young man said with sincerity before closing the door. It clicked shut with grim finality.
Heilene raised a trembling hand to her smooth her perfectly coifed hair as she waited in the empty office for her life-mate. Though she’d been treated with all courtesy during the Tran ride across the vast city, there was no doubt that she was now a prisoner.
Any fleeting thought to the contrary was erased by three of Peoal’s elite guard standing just outside his office door. She was not free to leave.
She should have known that her true intentions would not have remained secret from her all powerful life-mate and Sovereign. She, of all people, knew his network of operatives was as large as it was ruthless. Even without all that, the bond between life-mates left little in the nature of privacy- the longer they were bonded- the more it made them empathic, one with the other.
It was almost impossible to hide from him.
Heilene had wanted more from Colonel John Sheppard than she was willing to admit, even to herself. She had held on to a wild hope that he wasn’t as attached to his Athosian as the Intel reports had indicated. She’d hoped that he would be the one she could confide in- the one who could Gate her off Saason to safety. Away from Peoal.
Foolish hopes from an even more foolish woman, she chided herself. In a moment of impractical weakness she’d bargained away what was left of her power over Peoal. He now had the evidence he needed to punish her for a very long time. There was no doubt in her mind that he would do it.
He would also succeed in his plans for securing Saasonese safety which she couldn’t find a way to be glad about. It went against everything she believed in to live protected from the Wraith while other worlds around them lost millions. It was obscene. She shuddered as she thought of the lives that would be lost while they all lived in security.
Heilene had tried to reason with Peoal. The memory of her painful failure still hunted her.
“You can’t be serious, darling?” she’d pleaded. “Cutting off trade and diplomatic relations with all worlds- including our allies? I thought this was to protect us from the Wraith as we searched for ways to defeat them, not isolate us!”
“Do not allow yourself to become distraught over things you can’t possibly understand,” Peoal condescended.
He disdained emotional outbursts and his patience was razor thin after her actions that night, she could feel it.
“Peoal please,” Heilene pressed, despite her better judgment. “You have everything you could possibly want, more even- why turn our backs on the entire galaxy?”
“What’s the matter my love,” Peoal growled through clenched teeth, viciously yanking her into his arms. “Afraid you’ll not have another change to leave your beloved life-mate?”
Heilene’s blood froze in her veins. He knew.
“What?” he sneered. “No, clever lies or comebacks? I can’t deal with you now as I’d like, but trust me my dear, the time will come soon. And just so we understand one another, what may or may not happen to Saason is none of your concern.”
After using their sexual bond against her in the most degrading way, he left her alone in their bed. She hadn’t seen him since.
Shaking off the cold horror of the memory, she mused bitterly to herself that ‘her time had indeed come’.
Distraught, Heilene wrung her hands and paced toward the large window overlooking the city. She couldn’t let it happen. She just couldn’t let him succeed. There had to be way.
Drawing on the courage born from generations of honorable Saasonese women, Heilene mentally prepared herself to endure whatever Peoal had in store for her. She would live through it and stop him. For once in her life, she would do the right thing.
*
“Report,” Colonel Caldwell barked at the nearest Lieutenant as he walked onto the bridge of the Daedalus. “Have we heard from Dr. Weir and her landing party yet?”
“No, sir.”
Caldwell caught the man’s eyes in a no-nonsense stare. “Are we still within transporter range and invisible to the Saason’s satellite surveillance?”
“Yes, sir, Hermiod is personally monitoring propulsion and the new cloaking system installed from the Jumpers,” the young officer informed him, hastily.
“Good, I don’t want any surprises on this one.” The Colonel lowered himself into the command chair and began reading the overview from the previous shift. He was glad to see nothing of interest in the concise recitation.
He took in stride that they’d had no contact from anyone on the surface- if the situation was as dire as he suspected, they wouldn’t hear till the last minute.
Relaxing back, he tried not to think of all the times Elizabeth found herself in trouble and cut off from any assistance. There were too many times. She was the most headstrong woman he’d ever met; contrary, emotional, sometimes unreasonable… but smart… sometimes too smart, and sexy as hell.
There was a time not too long ago when those very qualities were more than just an annoyance, they were pure torture. When he first met her, Elizabeth Weir had done everything in her power to make his life miserable. He was unwelcome in her world, and she made sure he knew it.
It was amazing to him how little it took to change his mind. Just the simple truth that the flashing fire in those lovely green eyes hid a depth of passion and a real fear of letting down those she was responsible for, nothing more. Now as far as he was concerned it was his one and only mission in life to keep her safe- even from herself.
Of course he’d never let her know that, she’d skewer him with one of her looks, slap him verbally with one of her famous veiled insults and primly walk away. If she only knew the effect that had on him these days, she’d never speak to him again. Or would she?
*
He was getting married.
John kept saying that over and over to himself, hoping to hell it would finally make sense.
“Colonel,” Dr Beckett interrupted his thoughts. “Yer sleeve, you need ta roll it up so the medic can draw your blood.”
“Sorry, Carson,” Sheppard said absently and the complied with the request.
Not that he was opposed to marriage - or the thought of being with Teyla. It was just that he always thought *he’d* get to choose the day and the time.
A little voice in his head reminded him that in way he did choose when he took matters into his own hands with the Saason. He kindly told the voice to go to hell. There was no way he could have predicted this outcome.
Teyla had, the voice piped up again. John shoved the thought aside and winced in pain. He had jerked his arm unconsciously causing the port to twist sideways.
“Is this going to take long?” Irritated, John looked up at the aged technician. “I’ve sorta got something to get ready for.”
“Just a few more minutes.”
“I understood the bonding process took only a few milliliters of blood,” Carson checked the IV line once more. “Why are you taking more than that?”
The technician shrugged. “I’m just following my instructions you’ll have to consult with the Priest and Sovereign Baat.”
“Aye, I’ll do that.” Carson replied none too happy.
The conversation flowed over John and he slipped into his own thoughts again.
Even if he had fleetingly thought about a future with Teyla, forcing her to choose him wasn’t what he had in mind. And he pretty much knew after his havoc-wreaking transformation into a bug, that she would just as soon keep their relationship platonic. Story of his life -the women *he* wanted, didn’t want him.
It stung to be confronted with her rejection during his quasi- apology for kissing her weeks later. She was nervous-- evasive and told him not to think about it. He couldn’t think of any other reason for her jittery behavior. And even though their friendship wasn’t damaged, and she still called him ‘John’ off duty, he felt her confusion and withdrawal.
He’d had to admit to himself then that from the moment he’d met her on Athos, he’d hoped they’d be more than just allies and friends. He wanted her for himself- all for himself.
Too bad she didn’t want *you* he scoffed with self-deprecation. Subsequently, he buried that painful knowledge in the arms of any woman he could find.
It was just like his father always said- his emotional reactions would someday land him in trouble he couldn’t talk his way out of. It never occurred to him that others would land there with him. His old man may have treated him like a cold hearted bastard most of the time, but he was right about this.
“All finished,” The medic said after applying cotton and surgical tape to his arm. Gathering his equipment, he ambled toward the door. “Happy bonding day, young man,” he congratulated with a wry smile before disappearing.
John realized Carson had left too. Rolling down his sleeves over the small bandage, he finished up the last button on his shirt and sighed heavily.
Getting married was supposed to be happy. He on the other hand felt worried and guilty that he’d gotten the woman he loved into this mess and that he would tie her to someone she *didn’t* love forever. Him.
He sighed again. It was his wedding day, if he couldn’t be honest with himself today of all days, then he never would. Yeah, he loved Teyla for all the good it did. It certainly didn’t stop him from being an ass.
Then there was the bonding.
He and Teyla would be genetically tied together for life. If he understood his captors correctly they were both in for one hell of a sexually charged few months until they got used to being bonded. That thought was almost enough to pull him out of the gloom, but then he felt guilty again for wanting her that way- it seemed selfish, ugly. Then again- a man couldn’t be responsible for his dreams and damn it, she was his every single one.
*
A light knock sounded on the door of Teyla’s personal quarters, breaking through the thoughts that had been chasing each other around in her mind like errant village children. She had been sitting on the edge of the bed dressed and ready for several minutes, but could not bring herself to leave the solace of her room. It was probably a good thing someone came for her, giving her no choice in the matter.
“Teyla?” Elizabeth’s voice came from outside.
“Yes… Dr. Weir,” Teyla answered. “Please enter.”
Elizabeth stepped through the door and stopped short when she saw Teyla, her eyes going wide at the vision before her. “You look just beautiful, Teyla. John is a very lucky man in more ways than one.”
Unused to such compliments, she felt her face flush with color. “Thank you, Elizabeth… I…” Unable to finish her thought she turned to face the window over-looking the garden.
“I’m sorry for intruding.” Elizabeth closed the door behind her and walked to her friend. “Teyla, we’re all asking a lot of you and I know it’s not fair. My team and I understood the sacrifices we might make when we came to Atlantis, you didn’t make that same choice. No one would blame you if you decided not to go through with this.”
Teyla squeezed her eyes shut. None of them understood, not one. She *had* made the same sacrifice when she came to Atlantis, and more. More than any of them knew. Well, Ronon knew and even guessed her reasons, she thought. But not one person from the Earth expedition understood that she sacrificed the care of her own people to follow John Sheppard.
“I *want* to do this, Elizabeth.” Teyla glanced briefly at the other woman. “More than anything I have ever done.”
Dr. Weir let out a relieved sigh. “I hoped that might be the case, but you and John are very private people… I couldn’t be sure.”
Teyla regarded her in silence, an enigmatic expression masking her thoughts.
“Well.” Elizabeth cleared her throat and continued brightly. “Carson needs to draw your blood for the bonding ceremony, he’s already been to see John and the Saasonese clerics and doctors are waiting.”
Dr. Weir turned to go.
“Dr. Weir?” Teyla’s voice stopped her before she could leave.
“I want you to know that it has been an honor to fight the Wraith with you and your people. Whatever happens, I know I made the right choice for my people. I know you will take care of them.”
“Teyla, what are you saying? You’re scaring me.”
Teyla paused searching the other woman’s face as if trying to find the answer to a difficult question.
“There is a legend among my people of a couple who entered the bonding for political gain. They were not in love.”
“I don’t think I like where this is going.” Weir tensed and sat down.
“As well you should not,” Teyla continued gravely. “The couple died several days after their bonding ceremony.”
“Oh, God,” Elizabeth breathed.
“I always viewed this as a cautionary tale for our children to marry for love as those unions result in more children and stronger families, but since the Athosians long ago lost the ability to perform the genetic part of the bonding, I never gave it serious thought.”
“Teyla, you have to know…”
Teyla interrupted, “’I promise that my love for you is true and strong, my intentions without guile…lest the bond consume my body in fire.’ *That* is a line from the binding vows.”
“But I thought you loved Colonel Sheppard?” Dr. Weir was aghast at the implications. Sovereign Baat had conveniently forgotten to mention this bonding could be fatal.
“I do,” Teyla replied simply, unsurprised that Dr. Weir’s perception was uncannily accurate. “I cannot, however, be sure if my feelings are returned. I am acting on hope and instinct and pray to the Ancestors that I am right.”
“I understand.” Weir’s eyes met Teyla’s in a moment of feminine understanding.
*
Teyla’s first thought on entering the place of Bonding was how much this must be as Athos was before the last great culling hundreds of years ago. The main city itself had reminded her of the ruins on her home planet since she arrived; the clean, elegant lines, the light and airy nature of every structure. It made her long for something that could never be again: A home befitting her people.
The building was round, as on Athos, symbolizing not only the complete connectedness of the bonded couple, but also the connection between all the worlds the Ancestors had gifted with a Ring to travel between worlds.
She supposed it was a reminder that the Ancestors had intended life in her galaxy to remain dependant on one another; something that despite the evidence all around him, Sovereign Baat had forgotten, or perhaps chose to ignore.
Assembled near the center of the room in a lose circle were her team-mates from Atlantis- her second family. Beyond them stood, several dignitaries from Saason that she had met over the course of her stay, and with them, the Sovereign and his life-mate Heilene.
She should resent the woman who was instrumental in the situation she now found herself, but she did not. Heilene had unwittingly given Teyla her secret heart’s desire, John. She prayed to all the Ancestors that she was also his. If she was not, she would be consigning her love to death.
Shaking off such morose thoughts on her bonding day, Teyla continued to look around at the grandeur of the place.
The walls were primarily vast panes of window glass that looked out over the most verdant and extensive gardens she had ever seen. Brilliant splashes of red, yellow, pink, blue and purple interspersed with deep greens. It was impressive.
Inside the large room, the muted silver’s and pastel’s complemented the white and green floral garlands draped over every opening. These were to symbolize the newness of love and life together.
Thick pillared candles on tall wrought iron stands glowed softly their light absorbed by the last brilliant rays of the afternoon sun. She has no doubt the look would be magical once night fell on the bonding celebration to come.
Then standing in their midst were the solemn Priest of the Ancestors and - John. He waited there for her to join him.
Teyla’s breath caught and held for several seconds when she saw him, his male beauty captivated her. He was dressed in dark tapered pants, a long black Athosian looking dress jacket with a soft grey shirt underneath that matched his quick-silver green/grey eyes perfectly.
And he was staring at her as if she were the only woman in the room.
“Do you come of your own free will to be bound?” The priests booming voice echoed across the room to wake her from her visions of John.
“I do,” Teyla answered her voice strong and confident.
“Enter the circle,” he commanded.
Teyla approached the circle never taking her eyes from John’s. In that moment her world contracted to him alone.
“God, Teyla… you are beautiful…” John whispered.
Teyla blushed at his words, but rewarded him with a shy smile.
“John Sheppard, Lt. Colonel of Atlantis and Teyla Emmagan, of Athos, Leader of the Athosian people have come today beseeching the Ancestors to bind their souls for eternity.”
Teyla closed her eyes as the Priest intoned the first phrases of the bonding. Familiar and comforting, they reminded her of home. She suddenly wished her father were here to witness her vows.
“From this day, there will be no other in your heart or mind. You will be only and always for the other.” The priest paused looking gravely from one to the other. “Do you so desire?”
“Yes, we so desire.” John and Teyla answered in unison as was the custom.
The priest acknowledged their answer with a nod of his aged head and motioned for the attendant to his right. The younger attendant placed a small white box in the priest’s waiting hands and it opened to reveal a small medical syringe similar to those on Atlantis.
“Lt. Colonel John Sheppard of Atlantis, make your vow.”
John swallowed hard and hoped to hell he wouldn’t trip over his tongue. He wasn’t used to such formal language and had one hell of a time memorizing this. On the other hand, it was amazing what you could learn when your life depended on it- and when you were getting the one thing you wanted the most.
He hoped with everything in him that Teyla would come to feel some of what he felt for her in the days to come. It was the only way he could justify tying her to him forever.
“I, John Sheppard, promise that my love for you is true and strong; my intentions without guile; my soul from this moment forth completely open to yours, lest the bond consume my body in fire.” He paused to swallow and give himself an extra second or two to remember the exact words in the final sentence. This would be so much easier if it were only he and Teyla.
The phrase popped into John’s mind just as he was about to give up. “It is my sole intention to live my life entwined with yours built on the bond of love we create this day.”
Done. Thank God.
The Priest removed the syringe from the box and pressed it against the base of John’s throat. He immediately felt a tingle, as if a thousand points of light were entering his blood steam from that point on his neck.
“I am bound,” he replied as instructed. He caught Teyla’s eye as the priest returned it to the box, her eyes wide with wonder- and perhaps something else?
“Teyla Emmagan, of Athos, leader of the Athoisan people, make your vow.”
As was her right as leader of her people Teyla chose to use the older, melodic version of the vows. She prayed her normally strong steady voice would not break on the beautiful notes.
“I promise my love for you,” her clear voice pitched intimate and low, meant for John alone. “Shall ever be strong, and ever be true.”
John was entranced by the feminine lyric quality of Teyla’s voice. It stirred him, compelling him to take her away to be alone. It stirred him to want to listen forever in this moment, in this place. He should have felt embarrassed; having someone sing a love song to him wasn’t something he’d normally like a room full of people to witness, funny he that he didn’t mind at all. Those points of light must be messing with his head.
“My soul to yours ever open, entwined with the bonds, that will never be broken. ”
Teyla sang out the age old words she had known since childhood, comforted by their familiarity.
“…Lest the bond consume my body in fire.” She let the last note fade into the silence.
If John hadn’t been in love before, he was caught now, helpless and unable to stop the cascade of emotions that crashed through him from her haunting song.
Teyla inhaled and closed her eyes as the priest repeated the injection. The minute the contents of the syringe hit her system, a feeling not unlike euphoria infused her entire body, flowing out of her to John and back again. She could literally *feel* her essence being connected to his.
Opening her eyes, she realized that if the look of awe on John’s face was any indication, he felt it too. Her heart soared.
“I am bound.”
Their eyes met and held in unspoken emotion.
Handing the box back the attendant, the priest placed a hand on the top of their heads and bowed his own in silence for several long seconds. John could hear him murmuring under his breath, but couldn’t quite make out the words.
Finally the man looked up, his gaze traveling around the large room to the assembled guests, and spoke. “Welcome to the Celebration of the Newly-Bound!”
The room erupted in applause and cheers, with several cat-calls from the Atlantis delegation.
Even though it wasn’t part of the traditional Saasonese or Athosian ceremony, John would be damned if he didn’t get to kiss the bride on his wedding day. Before she - or the stuffy looking priest could protest, he pulled Teyla into is arms and kissed her deeply. Her eager response filled him with hope, not to mention something else they’d be taking care of later.
TBC