what is truth on april 1st?
...And in addition to finding out that I was the long-lost son of Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman, there's that little problem I have with investing my hoard of Swiss ingots that I found in the backyard swamp when I was growing up in the '30s. This was just before the life-enhancing injections from Dr. Einstein's nephew (his first name, Frank, worried me) gave me great looks and long life. And then it all went to pot when I gambled it away on Red #28 in Vegas. Now someone named Brad Pitt is using my former body and my brain is stuck here! Crap! (Un)fortunately I don't have time to go into the reasons why fire snails from Mercury are organizing our foreign policy, so it's time for a manicure and a bagel.