survey stolen from My Friend of Sammery
1. If you had to be named after a disney character who would it be? Goofy
2. At what age did you first masturbate? about a week before i turned 13
3. Have you ever thought of your parents while you were having sex? ummm, no
4. What food does your body odor most nearly resemble? Axe-flavored....something
5. What does your *significant other* smell like? warm vanilla sugar body lotion....mmmm
6. When somebody smokes a cigarette after drinking a glass of orange juice, what does their breath smell like? bad
7. Rate your racism 1-10.
3 (b/c of my dislike of Republicans)
8. What race do you dislike the most? Why? The Belmont Stakes, if there’s no chance at the Triple Crown
9. What is the screenname of someone you have had sex with? sorry, i don’t want the love of my life to get unsolicited IMs
10. Do you enjoy popping pimples? no but jen likes popping mine
11. Do you like the taste of your blood? nah, it tastes like iron
12. What movie makes you horny? umm i dunno
13. What is the dumbest movie you have ever cried in?...what part? i cry at the end of La Bamba...probably some other movies too but i can’t think of ‘em
14. Have you ever feared that some one specific gave you an STD? nope
15. Anal intercourse? receive? NO....give? ummm, we’ll see
16. Do you mind when someone kisses you after they performed oral sex? not as long as
she’s already spit it out first
17. What is your stance on euthanasia? for it, if the animal’s quality of life would be nil
18. Do you save your birthday cards? yeah i still have most of my received greeting cards
19. How often do you change your sheets? usually once a week
20. What sex toy would you like to try? ummm...none
21. Do you enjoy giving oral sex? just ask Jen O:-)
22. Have you ever gotten a tick in your belly button? so THAT’S where all the gratuitous swearing from my midsection was coming from! oh wait...you meant like a bloodsucking parasite, not Tourette’s
23. What is your grandmother's name? Erika Edwards...RIP Grandma
24. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book? probably Cat in the Hat
25. Have you ever done karate? What belt level did you reach? nope
26. What is your power animal? If you don't understand, you're thinking too much: ok, i’m thinking too much...WTF does this mean?
27. Which Willy Wonka was better, old or new? old....Gene > Johnny
28. When your hair falls out in the shower do you stick it on the wall so it won't clog the drain? wait a minute...hair? i have hair?
29. Do you purposely play music loud in the car so that people outside it can hear? nope
30. Do you hope the people who hear it will understand how you feel? no
31. Do you have any drugs in your house right now? clarinex...but that’s just an allergy medication
32. How did you learn how to do E.V.I.L.? i’m not evil O:-)
33. Did Jesus exist? maybe as a person...but not as a savior
34. Do you understand vegans? nope
35. Have you ever been given *the shocker*? well since i’m a guy, that’d be a no
36. Do you bite your toe nails? ummm...not possible
37. After biting your nails do you play with them? no
38. Have you ever been mean? i try not to...but i guess i can be sometimes
39. Do you want your baby to take after you for looks? i hope not! we don’t want chubby balding li’l D’Armses running around now do we!
40. What kind of palm do you have: Earth, Air, Fire, Water? no idea
41. Does sex smell good? actually yeah
42. Girls: have you ever had a yeast infection? N/A
Guys: have you ever gotten the clap: no!
43. Are holes in jeans sexy? nah...jen’s jeans with the red stripe down the sides are pretty sexy though ;-)
44. Is pink the new black? COLOR OUR WORLD PINKENED! (nope, doesn’t have quite the same ring to it)
45. Are men the new women? jen says i’m a woman sometimes
46. Have you ever eaten Bibimbap? what the hell is that?
47. What is your social security number? um...nice try
48. Did you ever look in your lunch box and think, "Fuck You Mom"? nope...i stopped using lunch-boxes before i knew what the word “fuck” was
49. Have you ever used a fire extinguisher? no
50. Do injuries make you more attactive to the opposite sex? doubtful
51. Have you ever grown your hair out and donated it? nope
52. Have you ever lied about your age just to see if the other person would believe you?
no
53. Have you ever had sex on the first date? nope
54. Have you ever smelled an article of your lover's clothing when they weren't around?
who, me? hehe *puts down one of Jen's shirts*
55. Have you ever videotaped yourself having sex? nope
56. Do you shampoo your pubes? nope, they don’t stay around long enough
57. Have you ever shaved your genitals for someone else? you mean like the day before yesterday? O:-)
58. Have you ever had a fake conversation on the phone, to make someone jealous? no
59. What's your favoirte kind of Bagel? cinnamon raisin...or possibly sun-dried tomato
60. Is armor cool? umm...go back in time and ask some knights
61. Have you ever felt empowered from slamming a pay phone? only used a pay phone like twice
62. If you are straight, which member of the same sex would turn you gay? none
63. Have you ever had a homoerotic experiance with one of your friends? nope
64. Have you ever felt like one of your friends parents wanted to have sex with you?
nope...if they did, that’d be a shining example of a desperate housewife!
2. At what age did you first masturbate? about a week before i turned 13
3. Have you ever thought of your parents while you were having sex? ummm, no
4. What food does your body odor most nearly resemble? Axe-flavored....something
5. What does your *significant other* smell like? warm vanilla sugar body lotion....mmmm
6. When somebody smokes a cigarette after drinking a glass of orange juice, what does their breath smell like? bad
7. Rate your racism 1-10.
3 (b/c of my dislike of Republicans)
8. What race do you dislike the most? Why? The Belmont Stakes, if there’s no chance at the Triple Crown
9. What is the screenname of someone you have had sex with? sorry, i don’t want the love of my life to get unsolicited IMs
10. Do you enjoy popping pimples? no but jen likes popping mine
11. Do you like the taste of your blood? nah, it tastes like iron
12. What movie makes you horny? umm i dunno
13. What is the dumbest movie you have ever cried in?...what part? i cry at the end of La Bamba...probably some other movies too but i can’t think of ‘em
14. Have you ever feared that some one specific gave you an STD? nope
15. Anal intercourse? receive? NO....give? ummm, we’ll see
16. Do you mind when someone kisses you after they performed oral sex? not as long as
she’s already spit it out first
17. What is your stance on euthanasia? for it, if the animal’s quality of life would be nil
18. Do you save your birthday cards? yeah i still have most of my received greeting cards
19. How often do you change your sheets? usually once a week
20. What sex toy would you like to try? ummm...none
21. Do you enjoy giving oral sex? just ask Jen O:-)
22. Have you ever gotten a tick in your belly button? so THAT’S where all the gratuitous swearing from my midsection was coming from! oh wait...you meant like a bloodsucking parasite, not Tourette’s
23. What is your grandmother's name? Erika Edwards...RIP Grandma
24. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book? probably Cat in the Hat
25. Have you ever done karate? What belt level did you reach? nope
26. What is your power animal? If you don't understand, you're thinking too much: ok, i’m thinking too much...WTF does this mean?
27. Which Willy Wonka was better, old or new? old....Gene > Johnny
28. When your hair falls out in the shower do you stick it on the wall so it won't clog the drain? wait a minute...hair? i have hair?
29. Do you purposely play music loud in the car so that people outside it can hear? nope
30. Do you hope the people who hear it will understand how you feel? no
31. Do you have any drugs in your house right now? clarinex...but that’s just an allergy medication
32. How did you learn how to do E.V.I.L.? i’m not evil O:-)
33. Did Jesus exist? maybe as a person...but not as a savior
34. Do you understand vegans? nope
35. Have you ever been given *the shocker*? well since i’m a guy, that’d be a no
36. Do you bite your toe nails? ummm...not possible
37. After biting your nails do you play with them? no
38. Have you ever been mean? i try not to...but i guess i can be sometimes
39. Do you want your baby to take after you for looks? i hope not! we don’t want chubby balding li’l D’Armses running around now do we!
40. What kind of palm do you have: Earth, Air, Fire, Water? no idea
41. Does sex smell good? actually yeah
42. Girls: have you ever had a yeast infection? N/A
Guys: have you ever gotten the clap: no!
43. Are holes in jeans sexy? nah...jen’s jeans with the red stripe down the sides are pretty sexy though ;-)
44. Is pink the new black? COLOR OUR WORLD PINKENED! (nope, doesn’t have quite the same ring to it)
45. Are men the new women? jen says i’m a woman sometimes
46. Have you ever eaten Bibimbap? what the hell is that?
47. What is your social security number? um...nice try
48. Did you ever look in your lunch box and think, "Fuck You Mom"? nope...i stopped using lunch-boxes before i knew what the word “fuck” was
49. Have you ever used a fire extinguisher? no
50. Do injuries make you more attactive to the opposite sex? doubtful
51. Have you ever grown your hair out and donated it? nope
52. Have you ever lied about your age just to see if the other person would believe you?
no
53. Have you ever had sex on the first date? nope
54. Have you ever smelled an article of your lover's clothing when they weren't around?
who, me? hehe *puts down one of Jen's shirts*
55. Have you ever videotaped yourself having sex? nope
56. Do you shampoo your pubes? nope, they don’t stay around long enough
57. Have you ever shaved your genitals for someone else? you mean like the day before yesterday? O:-)
58. Have you ever had a fake conversation on the phone, to make someone jealous? no
59. What's your favoirte kind of Bagel? cinnamon raisin...or possibly sun-dried tomato
60. Is armor cool? umm...go back in time and ask some knights
61. Have you ever felt empowered from slamming a pay phone? only used a pay phone like twice
62. If you are straight, which member of the same sex would turn you gay? none
63. Have you ever had a homoerotic experiance with one of your friends? nope
64. Have you ever felt like one of your friends parents wanted to have sex with you?
nope...if they did, that’d be a shining example of a desperate housewife!