(no subject)
Not much going on. Except that one thing. Today I have to go get the first of my monthly series of testosterone injections. I really don't want to get these goddamn injections. No can actually FORCE me to get them, as I'm not a minor, but my parents basically threatened to throw me out if I refused. So yeah, I'm being forced to take steroids, possibly for the rest of my life. And it's right in the ass too. A big fat needle right in my ass, releasing a month's supply of testosterone all at once. It's supposed to make me "normal", which really pisses me off. Who's to decide what's normal for any given person? The way I am is normal for me, and my parents are fucking up my shit. And this isn't something trivial like "You have to go to your cousin's wedding!". This is, "You have to take these steroids that will completely and forever change who you are both mentally and physically." Supposed to make me normal? I wanna fucking punch someone in the face. It won't even do what my parents insist it'll do. It's a whole goddamn month's worth of testosterone all at once. Do you have any idea what the hell that's gonna do? I'll be "evened out" for a short time in the middle of the month, but for the last part of the month I'll be bottomed out and the first part of the month I'll be all hopped up and super aggressive. Now, I don't even like the WORD aggressive, and this is going to make me be getting into fist fights every month? Jesus Christ, that pisses me off. It's going to be like having my own personal medically induced PMS. Goddamnit. And my mom is all like, "You'll still be the same on the inside." and shit like that. I don't fucking think so. So I've been being mean to her. For one because I'm pissed off at her as this is her doing. (my dad doesn't know shit about shit when it comes to me.) And for two, becuase she;s going to have to get used to it, as that's what I'll most likely be like from now on. We always get along real well and do stuff together, but that's prolly not gonna last. As I told her: both my brothers were all nice and sweet little boys and loved their mommy, but then they hit puberty and now they don't give her the time of day. So whatever. I wish my parents would consider the idea that just becuase they THINK something is best for me, that doesn't MAKE it best. For example. This whole fucking mess started when I discovered I had an undescended ball. After 17 years of doctors, exams, physicals, and such, it took ME, with no means of comparison, to find that one out. And it's not like I just saw one bad doctor for all that time. I haven't had a regular physician since I was 7. I must have seen 50 different doctors over the years. Fucking doctors fon't know shit about shit. Goddamn. So anyway, when we went to have this situation checked out, the doctor said that the ball was severely underdeveloped up in my body cavity and that it would probably never DO anything becuase of that. The only thing it actually did was put me at a higher risk for cancer. So, the doctor said, if we lowered the thing into the sack, it'd lower the risk. "But," I reasoned, "it serves no purpose now, or ever will in the future. So if this is about lowering cancer risk, why not take the whole goddamn thing out? Instead of lowering the cancer risk from Very High to a slightly lower Very High, it would reduce the risk to, um, ZERO." You can't get testicular cancer in a testicle that isn't there, am I right? But why should anyone have listened to me? I was just the one, oh, HAVING THE OPERATION ON HIS GODDAMN BALLS! And that common sense thing. Who needs that? Lo and behold, it seems no one does, because they went ahead and lowered the ball. We saw the doctor just ONCE more, at the ONE follow up visit 2 weeks later. He said the surgery basically did nothing. It lowered my cancer risk by maybe 2 or 3 percent. And now my parents are all, "How should we have known?" I don't know, maybe by FUCKING LISTENING TO ME! I'm your goddamn son and was the voice of reason at the time! Goddamn. But they didn't care I guess. They still hold out hope that one day I'll actually be able to, or have any desire to sire some children. Fat chance. I don't even bother trying to talk to my dad about anything like that anymore, which is why this whole injection thing is all my mom's doing. The last time I did, we were supposed to be talking about the ball surgery. The conversation went like this (S=Steve, D=Dad),
D:"So what do you think of this surgery?"
S:"I don't want it."
D:"Well it could increase your size down there. Each one of them should be about the size of a silver dollar."
S:"Huh. Well they're not."
D:"Well they could be."
We sit there for about a minute
D:"So do you ever get a.... a..hard-on?"
S:"What? (pause) Um. Yeah, I guess.
D:"Well, like when? When you're looking at girls?"
S:"No, it's pretty much random."
We sit there for another minute or two.
S:"Can I go now?"
I leave.
And that's when I stopped caring about what my dad thinks. Before then I would have done most anything to please him. There's always just such a thick aura of disappointment coming off him that I'd have done most anything. But not after that conversation. I think my parents just hold out hope that some day I'll settle down with and knock up some poor girl. As I said before, fat chance. But I suppose that's why they're forcing this whole ass injection horror on me. Everyone in the history of history has said that puberty is the worst thing in, well, history. Now I've been given the gift that allows me to escape that nightmare, but my parents are forcing it on me now. I like myself just as I am. I finally have some fucking self-confidence now. But I guess my parents couldn't allow that to last. Goddamn. But I'll quit bitching now. In the mean time, crappy internet quiz:
the Wit
(61% dark, 30% spontaneous, 26% vulgar) your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK
You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.
I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.
Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.
You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm
talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.
PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais
The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -
If you're interested, try my best friend's best test:
The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Masterpiece
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
You scored higher than 86% on darkness
You scored higher than 8% on spontaneity
You scored higher than 18% on vulgarity
Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test
D:"So what do you think of this surgery?"
S:"I don't want it."
D:"Well it could increase your size down there. Each one of them should be about the size of a silver dollar."
S:"Huh. Well they're not."
D:"Well they could be."
We sit there for about a minute
D:"So do you ever get a.... a..hard-on?"
S:"What? (pause) Um. Yeah, I guess.
D:"Well, like when? When you're looking at girls?"
S:"No, it's pretty much random."
We sit there for another minute or two.
S:"Can I go now?"
I leave.
And that's when I stopped caring about what my dad thinks. Before then I would have done most anything to please him. There's always just such a thick aura of disappointment coming off him that I'd have done most anything. But not after that conversation. I think my parents just hold out hope that some day I'll settle down with and knock up some poor girl. As I said before, fat chance. But I suppose that's why they're forcing this whole ass injection horror on me. Everyone in the history of history has said that puberty is the worst thing in, well, history. Now I've been given the gift that allows me to escape that nightmare, but my parents are forcing it on me now. I like myself just as I am. I finally have some fucking self-confidence now. But I guess my parents couldn't allow that to last. Goddamn. But I'll quit bitching now. In the mean time, crappy internet quiz:
the Wit
(61% dark, 30% spontaneous, 26% vulgar) your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK
You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.
I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.
Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.
You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm
talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.
PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais
The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -
If you're interested, try my best friend's best test:
The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Masterpiece
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
You scored higher than 86% on darkness
You scored higher than 8% on spontaneity
You scored higher than 18% on vulgarity
Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test