Creature Feature
Living rough in africa means a parade of animals, only some of which can kill you.
Vervet monkeys. Gotta look close or you'll miss them, but the do this curious head-bobbing thing when alarmed. Threat level: mostly harmless, although one tried to shit on my guide. Verdict: entertaining.
Centipede. This guy I found inside my tent when I was setting it up, so he made the ride from my last camp relatively intact. Brushed my hand against something that felt like a gummy bear. Threat: medium. These fuckers are way poisonous and their toxins last longer than love. Verdict: only for killing.
Tailess Whip Scorpion. Coolest thing I've seen in a bit - those long arms have hands at the end and they reach about five times it's body length. Even the old Tjimba guys who were around haven't seen one of these before and ugly as they are, they're non-toxic. Threat: high ick factor. Verdict: cool.
Tailed Whip Scorpion. Looks like super roach, actually harmless. This one was a bit worse for wear but ambled off after getting stuck in a rain puddle. Threat: slight. Verdict: too roach-like for coolness.
Zebra Snake. Night predators and generally discreet, but this one strayed way too close to our camp one night. They're territorial so we knew he'd be back, so it was him or us. Threat: extreme - spitting neuro and necrotizing venom. Verdict: only for killing. Handsome snake - sorry dude.
Toad. Last thing I expected to find here, but I dug him up from a sand river when I was playing 'hide the duke'. Fat from the recent rains, I expect. Threat: none. Verdict: cute.
Sweat Bees. We discovered a huge hive of them living right next to our camp, and they make honey so we unashamedly stole it all. These assholes have been drinking the moisture from my eyes for days so fuck 'em, I'm having my own back.
Threat: annoying. Verdict: yummy.
Last but not least, Smart Cow. One village we stopped at had a new solar water pump, and most of the cows waited for somebody to open the tap. Not Smart Cow. First he figured out the orientation of the handle with his tongue, then used his stubby horns to turn it on. Got quite his fill by the time somebody figured out the water was running. Threat: none. Verdict: the Bovine Einstein.
Way better on repeated viewing than Perv Cow, whose antics are best lost to history. His licking the back of my neck was not the high point of my research career, although he may have eaten a pair a of Ashley's underwear, so that's funny.
Next: off to the Marienfluess, according to a very recent genetic study, the origin of modern humans. Sounds like cack to me but I'll ask around to see if anybody remembers anything.
Vervet monkeys. Gotta look close or you'll miss them, but the do this curious head-bobbing thing when alarmed. Threat level: mostly harmless, although one tried to shit on my guide. Verdict: entertaining.
Centipede. This guy I found inside my tent when I was setting it up, so he made the ride from my last camp relatively intact. Brushed my hand against something that felt like a gummy bear. Threat: medium. These fuckers are way poisonous and their toxins last longer than love. Verdict: only for killing.
Tailess Whip Scorpion. Coolest thing I've seen in a bit - those long arms have hands at the end and they reach about five times it's body length. Even the old Tjimba guys who were around haven't seen one of these before and ugly as they are, they're non-toxic. Threat: high ick factor. Verdict: cool.
Tailed Whip Scorpion. Looks like super roach, actually harmless. This one was a bit worse for wear but ambled off after getting stuck in a rain puddle. Threat: slight. Verdict: too roach-like for coolness.
Zebra Snake. Night predators and generally discreet, but this one strayed way too close to our camp one night. They're territorial so we knew he'd be back, so it was him or us. Threat: extreme - spitting neuro and necrotizing venom. Verdict: only for killing. Handsome snake - sorry dude.
Toad. Last thing I expected to find here, but I dug him up from a sand river when I was playing 'hide the duke'. Fat from the recent rains, I expect. Threat: none. Verdict: cute.
Sweat Bees. We discovered a huge hive of them living right next to our camp, and they make honey so we unashamedly stole it all. These assholes have been drinking the moisture from my eyes for days so fuck 'em, I'm having my own back.
Threat: annoying. Verdict: yummy.
Last but not least, Smart Cow. One village we stopped at had a new solar water pump, and most of the cows waited for somebody to open the tap. Not Smart Cow. First he figured out the orientation of the handle with his tongue, then used his stubby horns to turn it on. Got quite his fill by the time somebody figured out the water was running. Threat: none. Verdict: the Bovine Einstein.
Way better on repeated viewing than Perv Cow, whose antics are best lost to history. His licking the back of my neck was not the high point of my research career, although he may have eaten a pair a of Ashley's underwear, so that's funny.
Next: off to the Marienfluess, according to a very recent genetic study, the origin of modern humans. Sounds like cack to me but I'll ask around to see if anybody remembers anything.