(no subject)
The thing about lonliness is that you can drive everywhich way at 85, 75 and at the federally regulated 65mph and it still manages to catch up with you. Somtimes it just waits knowing that you'll be back the same way.
I'm trying to redirect traffic into the new project which is coming along. I'm learning more about my characters everyday and it's coming along well. It still doesn't fill the spaces I wish I could fill. Sometimes I feel like a car that is bought with only some of the options and there are those bits on the panels where if someone'd payed the extra money there might be a really cool gadget there. Maybe a battery powered blender.
I've not been getting a lot of sleep and that needs to stop, it adds leverage force to the lonliness.
Friend of mine told me she sees me getting settled down in 5 years. I told her sometimes I'm really resentful to no-one or anthing in particular (read God in that last one)but just frustrated that I have to spend the younger years of my life feeling like there's something missing and watching most of my people move forward. I've been traveling here and there on weekends trying to keep busy. I've gone some places out of neccessity but regardless there has to be a better way.
And no it's not a person it's just general a sense of regret evidently not being able to do the stupid shit other people are just used to.
I've never understood how people could date, I've just always deep inside been able to say "yes" or "no" (whether I actually listened to myself or not.) Where as with her I actually realized how I could totally want to date a person to see where and how things went, not to just be with a person for the sake there of. The consensus was that I was just anybody and available for her. It happens.
I head tomorrow to Alexandria to hang out with John and Sarah. I can't wait!
I'm trying to redirect traffic into the new project which is coming along. I'm learning more about my characters everyday and it's coming along well. It still doesn't fill the spaces I wish I could fill. Sometimes I feel like a car that is bought with only some of the options and there are those bits on the panels where if someone'd payed the extra money there might be a really cool gadget there. Maybe a battery powered blender.
I've not been getting a lot of sleep and that needs to stop, it adds leverage force to the lonliness.
Friend of mine told me she sees me getting settled down in 5 years. I told her sometimes I'm really resentful to no-one or anthing in particular (read God in that last one)but just frustrated that I have to spend the younger years of my life feeling like there's something missing and watching most of my people move forward. I've been traveling here and there on weekends trying to keep busy. I've gone some places out of neccessity but regardless there has to be a better way.
And no it's not a person it's just general a sense of regret evidently not being able to do the stupid shit other people are just used to.
I've never understood how people could date, I've just always deep inside been able to say "yes" or "no" (whether I actually listened to myself or not.) Where as with her I actually realized how I could totally want to date a person to see where and how things went, not to just be with a person for the sake there of. The consensus was that I was just anybody and available for her. It happens.
I head tomorrow to Alexandria to hang out with John and Sarah. I can't wait!