Umm, hello, where did THIS come from?
Question: Who wants to read Sterling's 1am crackfic?
Answer: OBVIOUSLY THE ENTIRE INTERWEBS THANKYOUVERYMUCHYOU'REWELCOME.
We will never kiss in open doorways, because that is never what we were. We will never walk in that hand-entwined, hips-touching, eyes-meeting way that lovers seem to acquire somewhere between bad first impressions and awkward post movie silences. We will never move in together and end up tired, dirty, sweating and making love on the boxes marked fragile until we hear the crystal of a wine glass pop and shatter.
And in our lives as they are laid out for us now, with your windswept soul and my love affair with impossibilities, there is not even the chance of lives lived separately to come together some day on a Washington street corner, my heart wrapped up in my dreams and yours still chasing curiosity down until you’ve got nowhere left to run. We will not be chance meetings. We will see each other, I know we will, because somehow our lives found themselves tangled together even as we dragged ourselves apart, and there are locked-up spaces full of a satisfying togetherness that no one would expect. And though neither of us expect much of predictions, it will be with half smiles at other people’s weddings that we will remember, and turn those memories over in our heads until they are worn smoother than the wine glasses in our hands, smoother than the shards we never had in boxes never packed.
But somehow in your fear I take comfort, and somehow in my failure you take strength, and we will go on wild and silent as we always have, as waves behind plate glass might. We’ll watch the waves but never hear them; the glass too strong to break, the doors solid in our path. For we were never those to kiss in open doorways.
On the briiiiiight side, you guys, I WROTE SOMETHING. Which, y'know besides grocery lists and work orders, has not been happening so much in the past, y'know, FOREVER. So there is that.
And I would like to know what timezone my internal clock is on so that I could move there and be awake at normal human being hours rather than being on this ridiculous giraffe sleep schedule going on.
Dad decided we should attempt to start opening the pool today.
Hi. It's April. In Canada. We have a high of 10 degrees and a low of 6. There are penguins at the Toronto Zoo going "Damn, that water's cold. I'm going back to my fish." NO ONE IS GOING SWIMMING, YOU LUNATIC! So I'm elbow deep in disgusting, indescribably coloured, freezing cold, eau-de-dead-muskrat water, in my wooly socks and winter boots, opening a freakin' swimming pool, while mum is inside making soup and starting a fire! The man was a brilliant civil engineer, folks. I just hope his brain simply got zapped by retirement. If you happen to be standing under the CN Tower or the Eaton Centre right now, I would move a few thousand feet to your left. Just in case it was an eventual decline that began while he was still working.
He also decided we (read: I) should spray the wild garlic that has descended upon the place. Mostly on hillsides you can only reach by standing downwind. I don't know exactly what the effects of inhaling half a gallon of Round-Up through your nose and mouth are, but I am willing to bet they are not nearly as much fun as you'd hope. I'll let you know either way. Unless of course, I'm dead, in which case, I'll have someone text harlowbabe and she can fill you in. Oy. My glamorous existence. Let me show you it.
Also, you know what? If I could marry a Dorito? Totally. Would. Goddamnit, I petitioned for my right to marry a woman! Why not a delicious snack food? Get on that, government. Dorito marriages. Although I would totally cheat on them with nachos and salsa. And caramel popcorn. Snack food menage a trois. Or, in this case, y'know, mange-a-trois! Oh god, how hilarious am *I* tonight?
...The fact that I would make a shitty girlfriend even when the person in question is a cheese-flavoured corn chip. That says a lot for my relationship skills, right there. And we climb another rung on my ladder to crazy cat lady status!! *fistpump of triumph* Thank god for a nice rack, that's all I'm sayin'. ;)
Answer: OBVIOUSLY THE ENTIRE INTERWEBS THANKYOUVERYMUCHYOU'REWELCOME.
We will never kiss in open doorways, because that is never what we were. We will never walk in that hand-entwined, hips-touching, eyes-meeting way that lovers seem to acquire somewhere between bad first impressions and awkward post movie silences. We will never move in together and end up tired, dirty, sweating and making love on the boxes marked fragile until we hear the crystal of a wine glass pop and shatter.
And in our lives as they are laid out for us now, with your windswept soul and my love affair with impossibilities, there is not even the chance of lives lived separately to come together some day on a Washington street corner, my heart wrapped up in my dreams and yours still chasing curiosity down until you’ve got nowhere left to run. We will not be chance meetings. We will see each other, I know we will, because somehow our lives found themselves tangled together even as we dragged ourselves apart, and there are locked-up spaces full of a satisfying togetherness that no one would expect. And though neither of us expect much of predictions, it will be with half smiles at other people’s weddings that we will remember, and turn those memories over in our heads until they are worn smoother than the wine glasses in our hands, smoother than the shards we never had in boxes never packed.
But somehow in your fear I take comfort, and somehow in my failure you take strength, and we will go on wild and silent as we always have, as waves behind plate glass might. We’ll watch the waves but never hear them; the glass too strong to break, the doors solid in our path. For we were never those to kiss in open doorways.
On the briiiiiight side, you guys, I WROTE SOMETHING. Which, y'know besides grocery lists and work orders, has not been happening so much in the past, y'know, FOREVER. So there is that.
And I would like to know what timezone my internal clock is on so that I could move there and be awake at normal human being hours rather than being on this ridiculous giraffe sleep schedule going on.
Dad decided we should attempt to start opening the pool today.
Hi. It's April. In Canada. We have a high of 10 degrees and a low of 6. There are penguins at the Toronto Zoo going "Damn, that water's cold. I'm going back to my fish." NO ONE IS GOING SWIMMING, YOU LUNATIC! So I'm elbow deep in disgusting, indescribably coloured, freezing cold, eau-de-dead-muskrat water, in my wooly socks and winter boots, opening a freakin' swimming pool, while mum is inside making soup and starting a fire! The man was a brilliant civil engineer, folks. I just hope his brain simply got zapped by retirement. If you happen to be standing under the CN Tower or the Eaton Centre right now, I would move a few thousand feet to your left. Just in case it was an eventual decline that began while he was still working.
He also decided we (read: I) should spray the wild garlic that has descended upon the place. Mostly on hillsides you can only reach by standing downwind. I don't know exactly what the effects of inhaling half a gallon of Round-Up through your nose and mouth are, but I am willing to bet they are not nearly as much fun as you'd hope. I'll let you know either way. Unless of course, I'm dead, in which case, I'll have someone text harlowbabe and she can fill you in. Oy. My glamorous existence. Let me show you it.
Also, you know what? If I could marry a Dorito? Totally. Would. Goddamnit, I petitioned for my right to marry a woman! Why not a delicious snack food? Get on that, government. Dorito marriages. Although I would totally cheat on them with nachos and salsa. And caramel popcorn. Snack food menage a trois. Or, in this case, y'know, mange-a-trois! Oh god, how hilarious am *I* tonight?
...The fact that I would make a shitty girlfriend even when the person in question is a cheese-flavoured corn chip. That says a lot for my relationship skills, right there. And we climb another rung on my ladder to crazy cat lady status!! *fistpump of triumph* Thank god for a nice rack, that's all I'm sayin'. ;)