Ever feel like you're living in a bad Wonder Years re-run?
If you're a deeply rooted religious type person, I'd suggest you stop now. Unless, of course, you enjoy hearing the satire bad sitcom-ness that is my life. In which case, check your morals at the door and dive in.
Discussing University/College/Life Applications
Me: "Oh, for God's sake!!"
Father: "Exactly!!"
I have officially applied to Trent U's concurrent education program (Yes, I shall become yet another curriculum mandated cyborg. Just kiddin, teachs on f-list, I luff you all. My sis is one, even!) and Brock U's english program. Father, in his infinite wisdom, suggests I apply to Mohawk College's business prog, or Mac U, since they're both very close to use and I could live at home. Forget that they aren't geared to ANY of the programs I'm interested in, but whatever. Ummm... How 'bout.... NO. Guess what his next idea was. Go ahead, guess. Have you guessed? OK, I'll tell you. Actually, I'll tell you in the form of fun conversation re-enactments.
Father: "What about Redeemer?"
Me: "Redeemer??? REDEEMER?!!?! Redeemer as in the Christian school??? WHY IN THE HELL would I go to Redeemer? For one thing, I'm not Dutch, for another thing, I do not believe that everything on Earth is a product of some miraculous occurence, and I do not want to have 12 children by the time I'm 25! Something tells me I'm not going to fit in real well."
Father: "What's wrong with Redeemer? You could get an English and Divinity degree, and then get into teacher's college from there. You could maybe get a job there directly, even. Meet a nice boy, get married..."
*here he trails off, dreaming of white picket fences, fried chicken, minivans and polygamist cults, no doubt*
Me: "English and Divinity. That's a crock, and you know it. I've got nothing against religion, I'm quite content being a member of the United Church and everything, they're cool, but I'm *NOT* going to Redeemer with all the Reformers and the born-agains! The only girls that get in from AHS are the pregnant junkies who they decide to 'save', which basically means brainwash!"
Father: "Well, if they're looking for someone's soul to save, why not yours?"
Me: "OK, I'll humour you here. Let's say I pack up my Janis-Joplin-smoking-a-joint poster, my laptop, my SVU and Without a Trace DVDs, not to mention my DVD copy of The Rose with the lesbian kiss scene, a couple bottles of vodka and tequila, and pull in with my pickup truck blasting Melissa Etheridge. Do you see why this would get me killed??"
Father: "Just because they've found religion doesn't mean they're going to hurt you! They'll just show you how you can go through life living without all that crap."
Me: "Bu... Whaa...... Hold on. Did you just call my stuff CRAP??? DID YOU CALL JANIS JOPLIN CRAP, FOR GOD'S SAKE?!?!"
Father: "Exactly! For God's sake. Wait, did you say she's smoking a joint?? Where did you get that?? *calls my mom* Do you know she has this?? She's going to end up hooking off a street corner somewhere at this rate! Did you know about this??"
Mother: "Yeah. I bought it for her. Janis is an amazing vocalist. At least she's not putting up posters of Diddy Cents of whatever his name is!"
*cue me loving my mother even more*
Father storms off to the basement, throwing things about. Looks kind of like a tornado went through, but it was worth it for the entertainment value of that last exchange.
Sometimes, arguments can end up really funny. I really should go to bed. But I'm laughing too hard. Maybe I'll finally go read Glock's spec script!! Oh, yay!! I'll be able to work at 9 if I get 4 hours of sleep, right? Sure.
My Mom found her Tracy Chapman CD!! YAAAAAAYYYY!!! *ish happyful*
Discussing University/College/Life Applications
Me: "Oh, for God's sake!!"
Father: "Exactly!!"
I have officially applied to Trent U's concurrent education program (Yes, I shall become yet another curriculum mandated cyborg. Just kiddin, teachs on f-list, I luff you all. My sis is one, even!) and Brock U's english program. Father, in his infinite wisdom, suggests I apply to Mohawk College's business prog, or Mac U, since they're both very close to use and I could live at home. Forget that they aren't geared to ANY of the programs I'm interested in, but whatever. Ummm... How 'bout.... NO. Guess what his next idea was. Go ahead, guess. Have you guessed? OK, I'll tell you. Actually, I'll tell you in the form of fun conversation re-enactments.
Father: "What about Redeemer?"
Me: "Redeemer??? REDEEMER?!!?! Redeemer as in the Christian school??? WHY IN THE HELL would I go to Redeemer? For one thing, I'm not Dutch, for another thing, I do not believe that everything on Earth is a product of some miraculous occurence, and I do not want to have 12 children by the time I'm 25! Something tells me I'm not going to fit in real well."
Father: "What's wrong with Redeemer? You could get an English and Divinity degree, and then get into teacher's college from there. You could maybe get a job there directly, even. Meet a nice boy, get married..."
*here he trails off, dreaming of white picket fences, fried chicken, minivans and polygamist cults, no doubt*
Me: "English and Divinity. That's a crock, and you know it. I've got nothing against religion, I'm quite content being a member of the United Church and everything, they're cool, but I'm *NOT* going to Redeemer with all the Reformers and the born-agains! The only girls that get in from AHS are the pregnant junkies who they decide to 'save', which basically means brainwash!"
Father: "Well, if they're looking for someone's soul to save, why not yours?"
Me: "OK, I'll humour you here. Let's say I pack up my Janis-Joplin-smoking-a-joint poster, my laptop, my SVU and Without a Trace DVDs, not to mention my DVD copy of The Rose with the lesbian kiss scene, a couple bottles of vodka and tequila, and pull in with my pickup truck blasting Melissa Etheridge. Do you see why this would get me killed??"
Father: "Just because they've found religion doesn't mean they're going to hurt you! They'll just show you how you can go through life living without all that crap."
Me: "Bu... Whaa...... Hold on. Did you just call my stuff CRAP??? DID YOU CALL JANIS JOPLIN CRAP, FOR GOD'S SAKE?!?!"
Father: "Exactly! For God's sake. Wait, did you say she's smoking a joint?? Where did you get that?? *calls my mom* Do you know she has this?? She's going to end up hooking off a street corner somewhere at this rate! Did you know about this??"
Mother: "Yeah. I bought it for her. Janis is an amazing vocalist. At least she's not putting up posters of Diddy Cents of whatever his name is!"
*cue me loving my mother even more*
Father storms off to the basement, throwing things about. Looks kind of like a tornado went through, but it was worth it for the entertainment value of that last exchange.
Sometimes, arguments can end up really funny. I really should go to bed. But I'm laughing too hard. Maybe I'll finally go read Glock's spec script!! Oh, yay!! I'll be able to work at 9 if I get 4 hours of sleep, right? Sure.
My Mom found her Tracy Chapman CD!! YAAAAAAYYYY!!! *ish happyful*