(no subject)
The mission is be good to them always, love them and learn from them, but most importantly liberate them from yourself. I have done my best and feel closer to completion in that regard than I have in a while. Children can be cruel by virtue of their natural processes, and their sudden withdrawal from my side can leave me feeling cold. The past year has been a warmer time, where I've been touched on all sides by little hands and faces, little bodies pressing into mine, surrounding me with a sticky warmth that, when the body is held perfectly still, feels nice. But anyway I've grown tired of standing still, have ushered them off to build sandcastles of their own, so that I can be free to move my arms about in great circles--practice for when I'll have my bubble-wands again, with strong bubble juice made from my own mother's dish soap. I'm ready to create my warbling orb legions, ready to let them sail on the wind and burst as they may upon the world, being fragile things. Still, the sudden departure, even contempt, in attitude taken by my vehement, impetuous brothers and sisters has left my flesh feeling cold. Be good to them always, and liberate them from yourself.
That I still take offense when my skin prickles coolly is a sign that I'm not meant to stay in that warm, sticky state. I was never one for being pressed on all sides by affection and affectation. Until a year ago, I wouldn't speak of the cold or of being cold, but would let it sink into my entire body until I was very chill and icy to the touch, but supple and content in the choice and ability to be such. To be such is to hold no illusions, and also to embrace, face, address one's doom, should it be lurking near.
That I still take offense when my skin prickles coolly is a sign that I'm not meant to stay in that warm, sticky state. I was never one for being pressed on all sides by affection and affectation. Until a year ago, I wouldn't speak of the cold or of being cold, but would let it sink into my entire body until I was very chill and icy to the touch, but supple and content in the choice and ability to be such. To be such is to hold no illusions, and also to embrace, face, address one's doom, should it be lurking near.