The Horrors of the Bradford Exchange, Pt. 2
(See Part One for an introduction to this lovely company and their lovely products.)
This flyer actually came in the mail before XMas, but I was too busy and didn't get around to putting it up. But I'm posting it now because it's way too good to let it pass by.
The title of the piece is "Nativity of the Christmas Star". Ok, pretty normal so far. Now let's play, "What's wrong with this picture?"
Yes, isn't that charming? An Indian Mary, and Indian Joseph, and a lil' papoose Jesus! Please note that they're of indeterminate nation, they're just your good ol' stereotypical Indian. Whoever thought up this trainwreck needs either a kick in the head or a serious history lesson. Maybe both. Redskins in Jerusalem over 2000 years ago? Chief Joseph there must have been one hell of a swimmer. Please also note the Navajo-looking clay pots surrounding them, even though the figures appear to be dressed in Plains-style clothing. This can mean only one thing...Mary's been screwing around on Joe with some Navajo dude. To cope with her cheating, Joe drinks, like we all do. He's leaning against his spear there for balance because he's so trashed he can hardly stand up.
But really, this idea is about as retarded as taking scultures of a nice Viking family and dressing them up in buckskin and furs, and displaying them hanging off the Sundance pole. Because usually, when I think of Native people and Christianity coming together, the image I get is usually something more like this:
Sorry if I offend anyone with that corellation, but hey, that's how shit went down. Now, there's plenty of NDNs who've willingly chosen that spiritual path, and that's cool. But back in the day, they were pretty much told, "Hey, you guys worship demons, accept Christ or we'll kill you. Well, we might still kill you, but not as painfully if you just accept Christ." The Spanish had no problems doing this to the Mayans. They gave them the option to be killed as a Mayan by being burned at the stake, or convert to Christianity and be killed more quickly by hanging. Those conquistadors, so considerate! And the residential schools, those were sure fun places, I hear. Many of the priests liked to beat and rape little Native children in the name of God. I don't know, but those reasons might have something to do with why I think this sculpture is such a huge piece of shit. Even better, the description in the brochure begins with, "Share in the great spiritual bond between Native Americans and the miracle of the Holy Night...For it's been said that because of that wondrous night, the Native American lives every day in the giving spirit of Christmas!" Fuck, man, we already gave you our land, what more do you want? We sure as hell didn't give you the OK to mass-produce this shitty thing.
This flyer actually came in the mail before XMas, but I was too busy and didn't get around to putting it up. But I'm posting it now because it's way too good to let it pass by.
The title of the piece is "Nativity of the Christmas Star". Ok, pretty normal so far. Now let's play, "What's wrong with this picture?"
Yes, isn't that charming? An Indian Mary, and Indian Joseph, and a lil' papoose Jesus! Please note that they're of indeterminate nation, they're just your good ol' stereotypical Indian. Whoever thought up this trainwreck needs either a kick in the head or a serious history lesson. Maybe both. Redskins in Jerusalem over 2000 years ago? Chief Joseph there must have been one hell of a swimmer. Please also note the Navajo-looking clay pots surrounding them, even though the figures appear to be dressed in Plains-style clothing. This can mean only one thing...Mary's been screwing around on Joe with some Navajo dude. To cope with her cheating, Joe drinks, like we all do. He's leaning against his spear there for balance because he's so trashed he can hardly stand up.
But really, this idea is about as retarded as taking scultures of a nice Viking family and dressing them up in buckskin and furs, and displaying them hanging off the Sundance pole. Because usually, when I think of Native people and Christianity coming together, the image I get is usually something more like this:
Sorry if I offend anyone with that corellation, but hey, that's how shit went down. Now, there's plenty of NDNs who've willingly chosen that spiritual path, and that's cool. But back in the day, they were pretty much told, "Hey, you guys worship demons, accept Christ or we'll kill you. Well, we might still kill you, but not as painfully if you just accept Christ." The Spanish had no problems doing this to the Mayans. They gave them the option to be killed as a Mayan by being burned at the stake, or convert to Christianity and be killed more quickly by hanging. Those conquistadors, so considerate! And the residential schools, those were sure fun places, I hear. Many of the priests liked to beat and rape little Native children in the name of God. I don't know, but those reasons might have something to do with why I think this sculpture is such a huge piece of shit. Even better, the description in the brochure begins with, "Share in the great spiritual bond between Native Americans and the miracle of the Holy Night...For it's been said that because of that wondrous night, the Native American lives every day in the giving spirit of Christmas!" Fuck, man, we already gave you our land, what more do you want? We sure as hell didn't give you the OK to mass-produce this shitty thing.