Giggidy Giggidy
Well, im in the computer lab...again. I put together two more resume/cover letters, and i actually have to postal-mail these ones. No email here. These two go to The Williamsport Crosscutters and the Philadelphia Kixx.I really would NOT want to be stuck up here in Willy-Po for the summer, but if i get rejected from everything else...its better than the park, AND its a foot in the door for a job in sports. The Kixx i think would be cool. I know nothing about soccer, but im willing to learn, and its in Philly, so thats nice. I'd definitely work for them if they asked. I would never have believed that i would try for a job at a SOCCER team, since its probably the sport i know least about, but i honestly dont care right now. Im worried about graduating. I wish i wouldnt have changed my major 3 times, and i should have stuck it out and did communications. But no, Dr Wild scared me and i ran away from it. That bastard has ruined the rest of my life.
I dont want a pity party, but i am scared. All of my life, it has been nothing but failure, failure, failure. No matter how hard i try or what i do, i never get anything in return. Its never good enough. Thats why im so scared about these internships ive applied for. All i want is the Villanova internship. And i know that in my head im thinking, there is a 99% chance i wont get this internship, and it scares and hurts me, because, just once, ONCE ONCE ONCE, i deserve to have something. Something, something i really want. I deserve this. And it sounds like im whining and bitching and maybe i am. But i KNOW im qualified. What other girl do you know has the passion and love for sports like me? I could name....1 or 2 at the most. But to work in Villanova's athletic dept...this could be big. I want this so bad, but im trying to not get my hopes up, because i dont want to be disappointed. Ive been disappointed so many times in my life, i cant handle another one. Plus, its one of the only internships that pays. $1000/month is pretty nice. Plus, it would give me time to get a part-time job somewhere else at like a clothing store, movie/cd store or something, where i could bring in another 400-500$. God, im praying every single night that this goes through. It would be perfect. $1400-1500/month. Drew's parents said i could stay with them until i found an apartment and roommate(s). Plus i would be with Drew which is great. Granted, we would both be busy with jobs, but at least we could see each other more than once a month (maybe). So that would help a lot. I mean everything is there....except the job...I honestly dont know what i will do if i dont get it...i really dont. I'll be so crushed. And im so SICK of everyone saying "oh dont worry about it...youll be fine...youre smart and great and blah blah blah" Youre not the one that might be without a job, so shut up! I dont want anyone's pity. I just want people to LISTEN. Thats all. I dont need advice on this one. *SIGH*!!!!!!!!!!!
But i did apply to other NON FUCKING paying internships at:
*Hagley (history place)
*Temple Athletic Dept
*Philadelphia Kixx
*Philadelphia Soul (BON JOVI!!!!!!!!!!)
*QVC
*Hopewell Furnace NHS (history/park)
*Altoona Curve/State College Spikes
*Reading Phillies
So far, i got two replies back. They werent bad though, necessarily. Just both internships at the Curve and the Reading Phillies had already been filled. I had missed their deadlines apparently. That didnt make me too upset, because at least i didnt lose them to other people necessarily. They just got their info in before me. Usually minor leagues ask for their interns to send in around january, so i understood. I was just hoping for an opening perhaps, but no biggie. I just quickly did some research and i found another place to apply, the Wilmington BlueRocks, a Single A minor league team. They dont have anything on their site, but i know 2 people that worked there, so i figure if i send them my awesome resume, cover letter, and references, maybe i could get an internship! Skippy! Oh man. Im a loser.
I just want this to be over with. Ive sent to almost every place i wanted to, so now its lets play the waiting game, and i dont like the waiting game. Its suckful. Boogers. AHHHHHHHHHHH. I feel like screaming. Im such a stressful nutcase lately. This is all i have been thinking about. I dont care about class or tests or anything, im just like...LET ME OUT!!!! I know everyone is like that that is graduating. AHHHH! hehe...im a dork.
Heather is back after going home, her daddy had a TIA, which is like a mini-stroke, not really, sort of deal. He is okay though, for the most part. I love Daddy Nelson, he is the best. Him and i have this fake "love/hate relationship"...its more like we just pick on each other CONSTANTLY! I love it. I love Heather's whole family...even Scottina. haha.
School has sucked. I decided to take two personal days, today and yesterday. I dont really have anything today, so it didnt count. I just cant STAND sitting in class anymore. I dont take notes, i dont do anything, and yet i manage an A- and B/B+ on my psych and history tests respectively. Its rediculous. I just hate this place more and more each day. I dont think i hate Williamsport, necessarily. I think i hate Lyco. Like for instance, its small things. Like today, i went to do my laundry. Oh well. Cant do that. I forgot. There are THREE washers and dryers for the 50 students that live in the apartments. Oops, my bad! I have NO clothes for tomorrow...HORRAY!! I love it! And its not like i have a car to drive to the laundromat. Ugh. I guess ill be opting for a skirt or sweats tomorrow...i dont even think i have sweats! haha! skirt it is...in the 10 degree weather! ROBBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow night, i have to go to this thing for the CDC, its a networking kind of thing where we get to meet up with people in different careers and jobs and talk to them, get their information, maybe use them for future contact, etc. I have to wear a suit and be all professional. Then after that, im probably going over to Pete, Paul, Stamatis, Aaron, and Mikey W.'s apartment, they are having an 80's theme party! hahah and i have the PERRRRFECT outfit! Tee hee!!
Then on saturday, i have to go to this Comm Prom thing with Drew. Its gonna be so gay. Im not gonna get into it. Robble. But Big Jon is up for the weekend, and Mikey B will be up on saturday night, so that will be funnnnnnnnn too!
What the hell, i cant find my phone...again. Whatever. Its gay. I think ive misplaced my phone at least 6-7 times, and i can never find it because i always have it on silent. Its probably in my room. Im a tool. Robble and other things of the sort.
I think ive run out of things to talk about...and i didnt even mention the thing i ALWAYS write about...you know who. Im sooooo surprised at myself. Although i think this person has realised i dislike them a lot and havent really been socialising with me lately. What a sad sad sad thing :-( im crying...really i am.
Oh man....i just realised...i have 3 papers i have to write before the end of the year, and one is like...kinda important/big. Thats so gay. I hate gayness. I like homosexuals. But i HATE gayness. Especially the gayness of papers. Dont even get me started. Ah.
Told ya im going nuts.
Feel free to comment. But dont gimmie any advice. I might stab you in the jaw.
I dont want a pity party, but i am scared. All of my life, it has been nothing but failure, failure, failure. No matter how hard i try or what i do, i never get anything in return. Its never good enough. Thats why im so scared about these internships ive applied for. All i want is the Villanova internship. And i know that in my head im thinking, there is a 99% chance i wont get this internship, and it scares and hurts me, because, just once, ONCE ONCE ONCE, i deserve to have something. Something, something i really want. I deserve this. And it sounds like im whining and bitching and maybe i am. But i KNOW im qualified. What other girl do you know has the passion and love for sports like me? I could name....1 or 2 at the most. But to work in Villanova's athletic dept...this could be big. I want this so bad, but im trying to not get my hopes up, because i dont want to be disappointed. Ive been disappointed so many times in my life, i cant handle another one. Plus, its one of the only internships that pays. $1000/month is pretty nice. Plus, it would give me time to get a part-time job somewhere else at like a clothing store, movie/cd store or something, where i could bring in another 400-500$. God, im praying every single night that this goes through. It would be perfect. $1400-1500/month. Drew's parents said i could stay with them until i found an apartment and roommate(s). Plus i would be with Drew which is great. Granted, we would both be busy with jobs, but at least we could see each other more than once a month (maybe). So that would help a lot. I mean everything is there....except the job...I honestly dont know what i will do if i dont get it...i really dont. I'll be so crushed. And im so SICK of everyone saying "oh dont worry about it...youll be fine...youre smart and great and blah blah blah" Youre not the one that might be without a job, so shut up! I dont want anyone's pity. I just want people to LISTEN. Thats all. I dont need advice on this one. *SIGH*!!!!!!!!!!!
But i did apply to other NON FUCKING paying internships at:
*Hagley (history place)
*Temple Athletic Dept
*Philadelphia Kixx
*Philadelphia Soul (BON JOVI!!!!!!!!!!)
*QVC
*Hopewell Furnace NHS (history/park)
*Altoona Curve/State College Spikes
*Reading Phillies
So far, i got two replies back. They werent bad though, necessarily. Just both internships at the Curve and the Reading Phillies had already been filled. I had missed their deadlines apparently. That didnt make me too upset, because at least i didnt lose them to other people necessarily. They just got their info in before me. Usually minor leagues ask for their interns to send in around january, so i understood. I was just hoping for an opening perhaps, but no biggie. I just quickly did some research and i found another place to apply, the Wilmington BlueRocks, a Single A minor league team. They dont have anything on their site, but i know 2 people that worked there, so i figure if i send them my awesome resume, cover letter, and references, maybe i could get an internship! Skippy! Oh man. Im a loser.
I just want this to be over with. Ive sent to almost every place i wanted to, so now its lets play the waiting game, and i dont like the waiting game. Its suckful. Boogers. AHHHHHHHHHHH. I feel like screaming. Im such a stressful nutcase lately. This is all i have been thinking about. I dont care about class or tests or anything, im just like...LET ME OUT!!!! I know everyone is like that that is graduating. AHHHH! hehe...im a dork.
Heather is back after going home, her daddy had a TIA, which is like a mini-stroke, not really, sort of deal. He is okay though, for the most part. I love Daddy Nelson, he is the best. Him and i have this fake "love/hate relationship"...its more like we just pick on each other CONSTANTLY! I love it. I love Heather's whole family...even Scottina. haha.
School has sucked. I decided to take two personal days, today and yesterday. I dont really have anything today, so it didnt count. I just cant STAND sitting in class anymore. I dont take notes, i dont do anything, and yet i manage an A- and B/B+ on my psych and history tests respectively. Its rediculous. I just hate this place more and more each day. I dont think i hate Williamsport, necessarily. I think i hate Lyco. Like for instance, its small things. Like today, i went to do my laundry. Oh well. Cant do that. I forgot. There are THREE washers and dryers for the 50 students that live in the apartments. Oops, my bad! I have NO clothes for tomorrow...HORRAY!! I love it! And its not like i have a car to drive to the laundromat. Ugh. I guess ill be opting for a skirt or sweats tomorrow...i dont even think i have sweats! haha! skirt it is...in the 10 degree weather! ROBBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow night, i have to go to this thing for the CDC, its a networking kind of thing where we get to meet up with people in different careers and jobs and talk to them, get their information, maybe use them for future contact, etc. I have to wear a suit and be all professional. Then after that, im probably going over to Pete, Paul, Stamatis, Aaron, and Mikey W.'s apartment, they are having an 80's theme party! hahah and i have the PERRRRFECT outfit! Tee hee!!
Then on saturday, i have to go to this Comm Prom thing with Drew. Its gonna be so gay. Im not gonna get into it. Robble. But Big Jon is up for the weekend, and Mikey B will be up on saturday night, so that will be funnnnnnnnn too!
What the hell, i cant find my phone...again. Whatever. Its gay. I think ive misplaced my phone at least 6-7 times, and i can never find it because i always have it on silent. Its probably in my room. Im a tool. Robble and other things of the sort.
I think ive run out of things to talk about...and i didnt even mention the thing i ALWAYS write about...you know who. Im sooooo surprised at myself. Although i think this person has realised i dislike them a lot and havent really been socialising with me lately. What a sad sad sad thing :-( im crying...really i am.
Oh man....i just realised...i have 3 papers i have to write before the end of the year, and one is like...kinda important/big. Thats so gay. I hate gayness. I like homosexuals. But i HATE gayness. Especially the gayness of papers. Dont even get me started. Ah.
Told ya im going nuts.
Feel free to comment. But dont gimmie any advice. I might stab you in the jaw.