WTF me
So I found an old CD wallet in my room, the latest disc of which was burned three years ago. Let me share the track list with you:1. Somebody Told Me That You Were So Stupid, But I Didn't Believe Them, But Now I Believe Them, by Strong Bad
2. The ABCs of Kinky Sex, by The Lords of Acid
3. Boogie in Your Butt, by Eddie Murphy
4. I Want to See Your Pussy, by The Lords of Acid
5. The Ballad of Buckethead, by Buckethead
6. Sit on My Face, by The Lords of Acid
7. The System is Down, by Strong Bad
8. Rough Sex, by some asshole, I don't know.
9. Dangeresque Theme Song, by Strong Bad
10. Boom, I Fucked Your Boyfriend, by Salt N Pepa
11. The Elements, by Tom Lehrer (this is the names of the chemical elements set to I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General)
There are more, but they're unimportant. For some reason, there's something oddly satisfying about doing my corporate desk-jockey duties while listening to The ABCs of Kinky Sex. I don't know what it is - it's definitely not sexual - but I just think it's somehow vindicating. Plus, I don't know what state of mind I was in to mix explicitly sexual songs with Strong Bad and Tom Lehrer on a mix CD. I mean, seriously, what the fuck? God-damn, but I'm weird.
From the "Great Lines at Work" files:Michelle: Well, I monitored one call where a guy had a six-thousand minute plan on a family share, and they still went over it. How do you talk for more than a hundred hours in a month?
Me: I'm sure I could come up with something entertaining and entirely inappropriate.
Bob: Oh, I've got to hear this.
Me: Erm... I was just going to say 'phone sex.'
Bob: Yeah, that's what I figured.
Me: ...with each other!
Shane: No, it's always I before E, except after C, and in Budweiser.
Melanie: (while speaking on her preference for vanilla creme-filled donuts over chocolate) See, on this one, you can look in the hole and see the white stuff all over inside. But this other one's got brown stuff, so I don't want it.
This last led to a discussion between Bob and myself over the ethics of pornography - not as it's actually done in the present industry, but pornography itself. Well, the sex industry in general, I guess. It was funny, because he has things like qualms and a sense of decency.
And, from bash.org:Cyan: Some dude tried to break in last night at like 2am, but I was on the comp and it's like right beside the window so I heard the faggot. Anyways, I grabbed the folding chair and as soon as he was like halfway through I beat the fucking shit out of him. So he's laying here unconscious and I call the cops. Once they get here, they search him and look at what he fucking had: 8 track tape (unlabeled), Flashlight (no batteries), Half eaten box of Fig Newtons, Measuring tape, Instructions to "Monopoly."
dan: Dude, you fucking killed McGuyver!
Also, Amy made me the best cake ever:
2. The ABCs of Kinky Sex, by The Lords of Acid
3. Boogie in Your Butt, by Eddie Murphy
4. I Want to See Your Pussy, by The Lords of Acid
5. The Ballad of Buckethead, by Buckethead
6. Sit on My Face, by The Lords of Acid
7. The System is Down, by Strong Bad
8. Rough Sex, by some asshole, I don't know.
9. Dangeresque Theme Song, by Strong Bad
10. Boom, I Fucked Your Boyfriend, by Salt N Pepa
11. The Elements, by Tom Lehrer (this is the names of the chemical elements set to I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General)
There are more, but they're unimportant. For some reason, there's something oddly satisfying about doing my corporate desk-jockey duties while listening to The ABCs of Kinky Sex. I don't know what it is - it's definitely not sexual - but I just think it's somehow vindicating. Plus, I don't know what state of mind I was in to mix explicitly sexual songs with Strong Bad and Tom Lehrer on a mix CD. I mean, seriously, what the fuck? God-damn, but I'm weird.
From the "Great Lines at Work" files:Michelle: Well, I monitored one call where a guy had a six-thousand minute plan on a family share, and they still went over it. How do you talk for more than a hundred hours in a month?
Me: I'm sure I could come up with something entertaining and entirely inappropriate.
Bob: Oh, I've got to hear this.
Me: Erm... I was just going to say 'phone sex.'
Bob: Yeah, that's what I figured.
Me: ...with each other!
Shane: No, it's always I before E, except after C, and in Budweiser.
Melanie: (while speaking on her preference for vanilla creme-filled donuts over chocolate) See, on this one, you can look in the hole and see the white stuff all over inside. But this other one's got brown stuff, so I don't want it.
This last led to a discussion between Bob and myself over the ethics of pornography - not as it's actually done in the present industry, but pornography itself. Well, the sex industry in general, I guess. It was funny, because he has things like qualms and a sense of decency.
And, from bash.org:Cyan: Some dude tried to break in last night at like 2am, but I was on the comp and it's like right beside the window so I heard the faggot. Anyways, I grabbed the folding chair and as soon as he was like halfway through I beat the fucking shit out of him. So he's laying here unconscious and I call the cops. Once they get here, they search him and look at what he fucking had: 8 track tape (unlabeled), Flashlight (no batteries), Half eaten box of Fig Newtons, Measuring tape, Instructions to "Monopoly."
dan: Dude, you fucking killed McGuyver!
Also, Amy made me the best cake ever: